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Author Topic: Taysider Trek
Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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Ocht awaa and dinnae talk pish.
Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged
Guardian 2000
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Wow, I need subtitles.

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. . . ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

G2k's ST v. SW Tech Assessment

Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Ginger Beacon
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quote:
Originally posted by Guardian 2000:
Wow, I need subtitles.

Bridge scene 1

Narrator: In the year 2345 the Federation of Planets opened a Starfleet Academy near Carnoustie in Scotland. Four years later its first graduates emerged to find themselves rewarded with command of Starfleet’s newest and most powerful vessel: the ion impulse powered Aurora.

Captain: Reet Ensin. Gi’us warp factor ten. We’ll open this big bastard oop an’ see if it is shit of shovel a’ we hear of.

Android: Nae danger! Git yer belts oan.

Captain: Ne’er catch us wearin’ belts lik' a bunch a big poofters.

XO: Captain?

Captain: Wha?

XO: Ginna let us goin' ta the replicator? I’m starvin!

Captain: A’right. As lang as ye bring us back a mug a royal game soup and a couple o' outsiders.

Comms: Captain?

Captain: What new?

Comms: There a reet big hoor o' a spaceship coming towards us, and you wanna see the bastard size a the thing. It’s a guid yin or twa size bigger than ous ken!

Holodeck scene

Narrator: These graduates never backed away from danger as they were fearless and highly trained.

XO: Ah tellt ye afore ah dinnae wan any o` yer pish ur ah stick this reet in yer clagger bag!

Captain: What ye dooin ye daftie?

XO: Oh, ah’m jest ha’in a go in the holodeck, Cap’n! Ah’m holodeck daft, ken?

Bridge montage scene

Narrator: Take a journey into the unknown with captain McConnell;

Captain: Set phasers to malkie.

Narrator: His number one, O’Donnell;

XO: Tis lik' hee haw a've ever seen afore cap’n, ken!

Narrator: Doctor MacDonald;

Doctor: He's deid capt'n, stone deid. Na pulse or nutthin. Wull ye stoap keekin at mah arse, ya pervert!

Narrator: Ensigns McHaig the android and McDay, the communications officer;

Helm: Captain! We’re meddling wi’ forces we cannae possibly comprehend!

Android: Ye’re ken fine – ye’re gaggin fur it, eh?

Comms: Ye’ve hell haw chance o’ getting yer hole – yer an android, ye’ve cak all knob!

Alien: In sixty seconds we will board your ship and you will surrender your vessel to us.

All: Ach, gawan! Dinnae talk pish!

Narrator: Taysiders in Space – in amongst ye's!

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I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.

Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Ginger Beacon
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Now, is that all clear to you?

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I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.

Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Malnurtured Snay
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Subtitles AND a translation.
Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
The Ginger Beacon
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*sighs*

Captain: Right Ensign, go to warp factor 10. Let's start her up and see if she is as fast as I have been told.

Ensign: Aye sir, please fasten your safety restraints.

Captain: No. Wearing a seatbelt would cause others to question our sexuality.

XO: Captain, permission to go to the replicator? I'm very hungry.

Captain: Certainly, provided you bring me back a portion of Royal Game soup and two end slices of bread.

Comms: Captain.

Captian: What is it now?

Comms: There is an extremely large lady of negotable affections of a spaceship approaching us, look how big it is! It's one or two sizes bigger than our ship!

Holodeck Scene

XO: I have told you before, I'll have no silliness from you otherwise I shall have to thrust this bottle into your gentlemans area.

Captain: What the Dickens are you doing?

XO: I am just having a session in the holodeck Sir. I love the holodeck! See!

Bridge montage

Captain: Set phasers to inflict serious dammage, such as sould be accomplished with a razor blade or more often a simple headbutt.

XO: It's like nothing that I have ever seen before Captain.

Doctor: He's dead, stone dead. There is no pulse or anything. Stop looking and my behind, you pervert!

Helm: Captain, we are dealing with forces that we can not possibly comprehend!

Ensign: You are extremely attractive, you'd like to have sexual relations with me, yes?

Comms: You've very little chance of that. You are an android and as such have little or no penis.

Alien: In sixty seconds we will board your ship and you will surrender your vessel to us.

All: Oh, go on! Don't talk suck nonsense!

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I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.

Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Guardian 2000
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I rather liked it untranslated, until "lady of negotiable affections".

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. . . ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

G2k's ST v. SW Tech Assessment

Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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Very nice.
Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged
   

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