This is topic I Have Faced Major Barcalow! in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flare.solareclipse.net/ultimatebb.php/topic/10/2265.html

Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
I did it.. In a dark corner of a big scary TrekBBS, i was slumming there, trying to post some to increase my rank there. The I saw it.. a new thread by Major Barcalow, patron saint of the mentally disabled.

It was called 'The Exselsior'
quote:
My favorite ship is the Exselsior (sic). I like it because it looks like it's the fastest and it looks like art decko (sic). I wanted to see more of it with Sulu. I didn't however, like Rand on it because she really looked to (sic) old and it couldn't believe it anymore. Not with her being that old.
I wrote my own stories about Sulu and the Exselsior where I explain how he got to be so important and got his picture hunged (sic sick sick!) at Starfleet Headquarters instead of Kirk. In my story I get rid of Rand and I bring back Valtane. He was killed in a really stupid episode of voyager that was written bad. (huh?) It was really garbage so in my story I said Valtane had been replaced by the Mirror universe Valtane who then got caught stealing and that's why Valtane was a liutenant (sic) in Voyager and a commander in ST VI. In my story, the real Valtane escapes from the mirror universe and becomes Sulu's first oficer (sic) again and a commander.



I revved up an appropriatly sarcastic reply and let rip.. I'll keep you updated

[ December 19, 2001: Message edited by: CaptainMike ]
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
Good god. This guy is an imbicile!
 
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
...says the complete & total fuckwit.
 
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
WHY are we carrying things back and forth between TREKBBS and here?
 
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
 
Very interesting, but I don't think anyone here is all that interested in an inter-BBS flamewar.
 
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
 
You gotta admit, it's pretty funny though. . . and scary.
 
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
There's a reason I only visit Trek BBS to feel better about myself.

In fairness though, one of the stories someone sent me from there was actually decently written.

This one does not sound promising seeing as it's written based on the fact that he's irritated at the writers of Voyager...

[ December 19, 2001: Message edited by: Aban Rune ]
 
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
 
Now now, Mike. Don't feed the trolls, and don't find yourself being labled one...
 
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cartman:
Very interesting, but I don't think anyone here is all that interested in an inter-BBS flamewar.



Yeah, because we ALL know we'd kick their asses
 
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
Is the definition of trolling signing up for a shitty bulletin board for the sole purpose of making fun of its mentally disabled members?

I'd accept the name in that case
 
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
 
Trolling is GENERALLY considered posting something with the intention of getting people angry / provoking a response.

A troll is someone that goes trolling or is otherwise disruptive.

He's probably trolling.

[ December 19, 2001: Message edited by: Charles Capps ]
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Ugh. Please don't let this blow out of proportion. It's been so nice here since Sci-Art stopped their semi-annual trolling and inter-BBS flamefests. I really don't want to sift any more angry threads. I get enough of that reading the Enterprise forum.
 
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
True enough.. I oughtta keep this on the DL.. slumming at TrekBBS just got fun though..
 
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
So which one are you? AscensionOne? Why pick on grammar and spelling when there's ever so much more to go after?
 
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
Yeah, I'm AscendantOne.

TrekBBS is a big, scary stupid place.

I'm just biding my time until I have enough posts to post in The Neutral Zone
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
"He was killed in a really stupid episode of voyager that was written bad."

I do have to admit, that's a pretty good summerising of "Flashback".
 
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Like I said in another thread, we should get Major Barcalow to post here.
*smiles at the thought*
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
I swear, if someone uses my member status to burn me again........
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
You'll what? Act like a complete and total fuckwit? Too late, it appears.

** Ducks and rolls **

[ December 20, 2001: Message edited by: Siegfried ]
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
*pulls out a shotgun and begins blasting away at Sigfried's general direction*
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
You do realize shotgun pellets don't transfer over the internet ... don't you?
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
*pulls out a cd filled with computer viruses and sends them to Sigfried's E-mail address*
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Pulls out a red magic marker and grades MIB's previous posts:

**pulls out a shotgun and begins blasting away in Siegfried's general direction**

**pulls out a CD filled with computer viruses and sends them to Siegfried's e-mail address**


D

[ December 20, 2001: Message edited by: Siegfried ]
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
*sigh* I just can't win can I?
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
You forgot the comma.
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
*begins to cry a little* I'm going to go to bed now. I have to get up early in the morning. (8:00 AM)
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
What are you crying about? I have to get up at 6:45 a.m.
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
I GOT A D ON MY LAST POST!!! *Begins to sob*
 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Weren't you going to bed?
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
I have to get up at ...

... uh ...

... well ...

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Before 5. Rockin'.
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Siegfried: You can't really mark off for those asterisks you added. Maybe you use double asterisks, but many (maybe even most) people, myself included, only use singles...
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
AHHH. I'm back, but I will be gone again in 5 minutes. I must go to the mall to pick up a gift for my mother. It will be hell, but my mum is worth it. MWHAHAHAHA
 
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
*laugh*
I just got up...
 
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
You people get to sleep?

Lucky bastards...
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Is anyone else really starting to like MIB?
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
Why do you ask? Are you? *gets hopes up*
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Well, he must, since he said "anyone else". But I think the answer to his question is most likely "no chance, English bedwetting-type!".
 
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
 
quote:
I'm back, but I will be gone again in 5 minutes.


In years to come this may well rate up there with what Captain Oates of the Scott Expedition to the South Pole said. . . 8)
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Heh! [Smile]

I refuse to get involved in a Monty Python insult hurling match with Tim. I will clarify though. I didn't mean "Like" as in "Hey, MIB, would you like to see me ride a horse naked?", I meant "like" as in "MIB writes funny posts that are funny." Although possibly by accident.
 
Posted by OnToMars (Member # 621) on :
 
You actually think his posts are funny?

That makes you as disturbed as if you had meant "like" as in 'watch me ride a horse naked' "like"


[Edit: ::inaudible profane grunting::]

[ December 23, 2001: Message edited by: OnToMars ]
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Which is worse? Riding a horse naked, or a hose?
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
His posts are (were) amusing. At the risk of sounding, well, American, some people here really need to mellow out.
 
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
 
And re-adjust their definition of 'porn' while they're at it.
 
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
 
Since the incriminating image seems to be no longer available, what exactly was it?
 
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Ah, if Flare's history is ever written, MIB will be in Chapter 1 [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
That seems rather stupid given Flare's age and how long (and when) MIB was a member.
 
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
 
And especially considering that one has already been written...
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
What happened about that anyway, Omey boy? And when is Simon's FAQ going to to replace the rather boring one we have now?

And what was the picture anyway?
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
It was six or so girls, standing profile naked. Hardly Hustler (or Playboy) type stuff.
 
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
 
What happened about that anyway, Omey boy?

Um... I posted it, like, twice...

Right here.
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
I *so* love new Omega quotes.

"Those darned Brits never did learn proper English spelling."
 
Posted by OnToMars (Member # 621) on :
 
Oh god...he lives near me! Help me! Help me please!!!!!!!!

http://trekbbs.com/ubb/Forum21/HTML/008791.html
 
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
"MY GOD!!! YOU ARE SO STUPID IT HURTS THINKING ABOUT IT!!!" -bolian12

I'm making this my new sig. This guy is too stupid to be real. I'm 90% sure he makes this stuff up. After a while, don't you think he'd start checking his messages before posting...?

Well...my college roommate was this dumb...so who knows...
 
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
 
I have now read 3 or 4 of Major Barcalow's threads and I have to say that this person is totally off on his own tangent.

Mid-30's, living with his mum, obsessed with Star Trek to the point of losing his job . . . isn't he the one who has Star Trek figures/toys on his desk & got a bollocking from his boss?

I think that he needs to be shot - for the good of the gene pool. Oh and his mother too - christ what a pair they make! Call the cops! He's after his cousin! INCEST! I'll admit that I once fancies my older female cousins - but that was when I was young and going through puperty, and was getting more interested in the opposite sex. I don't fancy them now - christ those two are right sluts! Wouldn't touch them with a barge pole!

I can't believe that he fell for that he fell for ed629's trick when he/she asked which uni/college he worked at. The person was only guessing and Major B fell for by revealing that he went to one of them. Stupid fuckwit!

Major Barcalow is one major fucked-up individual who needs putting down for the good of the world and human race.

Aaaaaaaah! I feel so much better for abusing this person that I don't know, but hey!, many many others are doing it - why can't I?"

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
 
"but that was when I was young and going through puperty"

Not to worry, Akbee, the transition from Larva wreaks havoc on the hormones of the entire Butterfly Kingdom.
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Especially the claustrophobic ones...
 
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
 
But I'm not a claustrophobic butterfly! Who's been telling you that lie!? [Mad]

Now I shall wait to see if anyone gets it.

[Razz] [Razz] [Razz] [Razz] [Razz] [Razz] [Razz]
 
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Ah, the geek hierarchy in action.
 
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
 
Beg pardon? What do ya mean by that exactly? [Confused]

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Do not question Simon. He is like a Neutron Star.
 
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
 
Like, but isn't.
 
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
The MajorBarcalow Fan Club Homepage
Major Barcalow Index Thread @ TrekBBS

educate yourself about the enemy
 
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
 
So, one day, like, there's this guy, well, he's really more like Fine Italian Kitchen Cookware. We'll call him Lagos. So, he's walking - or whatever the Fine Italian Kitchen Cookware equivalent of walking is - down the street.
He happens upon an old friend of his, an old Fine American Kitchen Appliance.
"Proctor?" Lagos calls out. "Proctor Silex? Is that you?"
The Fine American Kitchen Appliance then like, turns and stuff. "Lagos Stina, how are you?" He asks.
"Fine, but you seem to be a dingy shade of a darker grey today." Lagos replies.
Proctor inspects Lagos. "Well, Lagos, it seems you are too."
Lagos looks at himself in a nearby shop window. "Well, Mr. Silex, it seems you are correct. Good day to you sir."
And with that, Lagos walks off.


So the point is, obviously, don't trust those dirty Italians. They're duplicitious. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Stefano Fiore. Wiener.
 
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
 
That was far more about M.B. than I ever wanted to know.

Now, this guy is either:

1). A complete and total fuckwit.
2). A brilliant con-artist.
3). Both.
 
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PsyLiam:
Do not question Simon. He is like a Neutron Star.

Does that mean he's composed of the hardest substance theorized by man? That should make Michael_T MOST gleeful.

Or perhaps Liam is merely implying that Simon is incredibly dense.
 
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Merely that I bend the space around me.

And that I am composed entirely of neutrons.
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
He has achieved that which we all aspire to be having.
 
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
Hmmm...he's asking where Flare is.

If you tell him, Snay, your head will be on a stake.
 
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
The good Major is asking where Flare is? Has the poor soul not had enough abuse? Some people should just not use the internet at all...
 
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
If we tell him, and he joins, can we abuse him more? [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Dr. Jonas Bashir (Member # 481) on :
 
I think that's a constitutional right in most free countries, Veers [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
I see a DARKSTAR situation in the brewin'...
 
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
 
Hm.
 
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Here's the plan:
Someone invite him in, delete this thread, and trash and abuse his first post!
 
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
 
Uh, no.

This ends here and now.
 


© 1999-2024 Charles Capps

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3