Just a little self pitying look at myself, here in a safe environment to get this out of my system. I feel kind of guilty moping IRL..my nation and her allies are at war against a monster involved in the organised ethnic cleansing of a bunch Kosovo Albanians...and I am thinking of me. As you are aware...I have (fairly) recently started a job I love, bought a house..settled with my partner of over 5 years..kind of idyllic really...what I secretly dreamed of a a teenager. I have however had it confirmed this week that there is a bunch of 'female' stuff wrong with me, I am not going to be able to have children...and although I had never really thought about kids much...now the option is gone I can think of little else. I am not asking for this to be a 'sympathy' thread where evryone says how bad they feel...I just wanted some people to know that this is effecting me. I keep joking about it IRL, but I feel pretty lost. So there it is my personal outpouring. Nobody my age should have to be told this...I'm only 25 for gods sake!!!! A bunch of my friends had kids young...about 16...they were condemned as stupid women who were wasting their lives...I went to Uni, got a half decent job...I was sensible. Now I don't even feel like a woman. Which is ridiculous I know...there is more to a woman than her ability to bear children...but something primal and primative in me feels like a failure. *g* Bummer eh?
------------------ I'm the Worlds First Fully Functional Homicidal Artist.....
Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
MaGiC: Your grief isn't self-centered. You are sufffering a personal tragedy. Of course you feel it more. You're at ground zero.
I don't think there is any male equivalent to what you are going through, so I won't try to compare it with any analogous male malady. There aren't any. Though doctors have occasionally been known to be wrong in this type of diagnosis, I will not encourage you to stay in denial for very long (the crocodiles can be vicious! ).
You are grieving for the children you expected to meet and love and get to know. Now you'll never have that chance. All I can do is offer what sympathy I have, and hope it helps. Grieve now for those lost children, and let tomorrow take care of itself.
--Baloo
Posted by bryce (Member # 42) on :
Ya know MaGiC there is this couple I know who was told the same thing... they had two chldren after adopting two others
*sigh* Damnation. I hoped it wouldn't be that bad. You want to talk, Clare, you know where I am, OK? 8(
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Magic, you're not being self centered in the least bit. Baloo's right on the money with that one.
You're not alone. My gf had to have a full hysterectomy done when she was twenty-four, so she can't ever have kids either.. which of course means I can't, at least for as long as we stay together (and I'm not going ANYWHERE). She's lucky in that she has some neices and nephews she's very close to. The irony of it all is that of all the people in her family, SHE'S the one best suited to be a parent. She's still dealing with it though.
------------------ *I only SEEM Normal*
Posted by The Excalibur (Member # 34) on :
You are not self centered, you are dealing with instincts and emotions. It's the real batttle.
------------------ Parallax
Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
Honey, why didn't you SAY it was that bad? Heck, I know we hardly ever talk anymore, but still... I'd have been there for you as we have been there for each other before. You are not being self-centered. This is a very real thing that is affecting you, and very hard news to take. I can say this, totally understanding everything you're going through because I was told the exact same thing when I was 18 years old. That was last year. I felt the same way. I felt like less of a woman. I would look at babies and cry, knowing that I'd never get to bear one. But believe me, it gets better. You can adopt. You are no less of a woman just because you can't raise children .. *smiles* We aren't on this earth just to procreate *despite what some men still think *grin* * *HUGS* ... Next time TELL ME! If you ever need to talk, I believe you have my phone number, TWO of my addresses, my ICQ number and an email address. This is what i'm here for. To support and comfort you - hell, i AM still your friend...*grin*.
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
Posted by G on :
I love you with all my heart....and after 5 years together I am so here for you! In regards to babies... if you really decide you want one in the future maybe we can visit some specialists? I am sue that we will find a way... if that is what you want!
).