Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Final Chapter: The Dogs Of War ($)

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Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Oh, heck, who cares where I got these pics? Anyone? By the way, this is a trick question: anyone who says 'yes' is actually answering the question "who wants to be bludgeoned?"

First off, it's the Live WeyounCam! Just so long as he doesn't do the stuff that happens on JenniCam. . .

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Cardassian #1: "Holy Bajoran corpse, Batman! I think his face is stuck!"

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Vreenak: "The man who started the war with the Dominion... Somehow I thought you'd be taller." (DS9: "In the Pale Moonlight")

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

..."Buffy the Vampire Slayer" will not be seen tonight so we may bring you the following news special...

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"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
-- Plato
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Weyoun: And today's lottery numbers for this week's 50 million bars of latinum JACKPOT are 3.....

Cardassian #1: D'OH (starts ripping up tickets)

Cardassian #2: Don't worry, we can still win with 6 numbers.

Weyoun: 12

Cardassian #1: D'OH (ripping up more tickets)

Weyoun: 18, 25, 34, 39, and 49. Waitaminit, *looks at own ticket* 25, 39, I WON!!!! I WON!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *calms down* Well, topping today's stories, the winner of the lottery is...... Me!!!! In other news today......... Terrible accident on Cardassia, millions of Cardassians killed.......... Bye!!!!

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message was edited by Tahna Los on June 03, 1999.]

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

*Weyoun begins the Dominion's take off on the hit movie "The Running Man".

Weyoun: I command you to hunt down and capture one Sol System. Yes you heard me, get out there and get after him!

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I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.

[This message was edited by Jay on June 01, 1999.]

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Weyoun: "Public service announcement, prerecorded: One free bottle of kanar for the first Cardassian soldier to report an important part of the war effort, the precise location of Sesame Street, to us. This message will repeat itself in ten seconds."

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Vreenak: "The man who started the war with the Dominion... Somehow I thought you'd be taller." (DS9: "In the Pale Moonlight")

[This message was edited by Elim Garak on June 01, 1999.]

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Weyoun: . . . .Once again, she's a cute little puppy and answers to the name of Cuddles. If you see my little puppy-yuppy, please take her to the nearest Jem-Hadar barracks where you will receive a *ahem* proper reward.

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I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Weyoun: Welcome to Jem'Hadar Gladiators, where we pit average men and women against a barrage of physical sports and our own specially trained Jem'Hadar...

*or*

Weyoun: Next time on Weyoun Springer, "I married a Denebian Slime Devil!"

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

"Attention people of New York: I'm not wearing pants!"

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Cardassian: Hey, look! It's an incoming message from The Big Giant Head!

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Garak: Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world.
Bashir: I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order.

-Deep Space Nine, "Our Man Bashir."

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

Weyoun: Are you lookin' at me? ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT ME????

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Clones are People Two

"The Force is like duct tape: it has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Cardassians: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the most-cloned of them all?"

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"... Then you'll see me do some MAJOR dancing on your face!" -- Cosby

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Romper-Weyoun: "I see Damar, and Rusot, and Panya, and Tala, and Jarom..."

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"... Then you'll see me do some MAJOR dancing on your face!" -- Cosby

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Cardassian: "Oh, wouldn't you know it? I happen to mention the outfit I'm thinking of wearing today, and you both show up wearing the same thing. I mean, couldn't you show the least bit of originality once in awhile? You've even stolen my haircut!"

*motions to screen*

"What's he saying, then?"

Cardassian Beta: "He's just announced the execution of several thousand citizens."

Cardassian: "Well, that's hardly an excuse for stealing my wardrobe ideas, is it?"

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"Near the door! They leave reality inside!"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Weyoun: Well, goodily morning to everyone! Remember, stay happy, or its off to the institution for a lob-odo-odomy!

Damar:*walks by with a piece of brain floating in a jar*

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Weyoun:

Don't move, don't talk out of time, don't think, don't worry everything's just fine.

Just fine.

Don't grab, don't clutch, don't hope for too much, don't breathe, don't achieve, don't grieve without leave......

Don't check just balance on the fence, Don't answer, don't ask, don't try and make sense.

Don't whisper, don't talk, don't run if you can walk, don't cheat compete, don't miss the one beat.

Don't travel by train, don't eat, don't spill, don't piss in the train, don't make a will.

Don't fill out any forms, don't compensate, don't cower, don't crawl, don't come home late.

Don't hover at the gate.

Don't take it on board, don't fall on your sword, just play another chord.

If you feel you're getting Bored.

Damar *offscreen*: I feel Numb........ I feel Numb, too much is not enough...... yeah........

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message was edited by Tahna Los on June 03, 1999.]

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Weyoun:Ladies and gentleman of Cardassia: wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable, than my own meandering experience.I will dispense this advice, now.

Damar: God I am sick of this song.

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Clinton: "Ah did NOT have sexual relations with Miss Lewinsky. . ."

Gul-In-The-Street: "Yeah, right. Bet she's just down out of camera shot."

(well, he does look a bit like him in this pic)

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Weyoun: "Hello, Cardassia, and here are the results of the Dominion vote in the QuadrantVision Song Contest: United Federation of Planets, no points, nul point."

Terry Wogan: "No surprise there!"

Weyoun: "Vulcan, one point. Betazed, two points. Klingon Empire, three points. Romulan Star Empire, four points. . ."

Terry Wogan: "so far, so predictable."

Weyoun: "Tzenkethi, five points. Kzinti Empire, six points. . ."

Terry Wogan: "I'faith and begorrah, here comes the sucking-up!"

Weyoun: "Bajor, seven points. Cardassia, eight points. . ."

Terry Wogan: "Holy bejaysus! A poor turnout for the host nation!"

Weyoun: "Tholian Assembly, nine points."

Terry Wogan: "Nothin' to do with their current negotiations with the angular boyos, of course."

Weyoun: "The Breen, ten points."

Terry Wogan: "True to form."

Weyoun: "And finally - the Dominion, twelve points. Goodnight, Cardassia!"

Terry Wogan: "WHAT?! Sweet Mary Mother o' God, they can't do that! Well, there you go, once again the QuadrantVision Song Contest has been wrecked by favouritism and neighbourism. . ."

*Jem'Hadar soldiers burst in and execute Wogan*

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

ROTFL@First One's Clinton.

*Continuation of Lottery joke*

Heavily tanned Weyoun: And the numbers for this weeks 500 thousand bars of latinum *heh* jackpot are, 4, 16, 18, 26, 35, 39, and 41.

Cardassian #1: Oh no, those were ny numbers, if that damned wompat didn't eat my lottery ticket........

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message was edited by Tahna Los on June 05, 1999.]

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

screen: "Wel-wel-welcome to Network Twenty-three. I'm your h-h-h-host, Weyoun Headroom."

Posted by Warped1701 (Member # 40) on :

Cardassian: Ahhh! We don't have to watch this! *starts to walk off*

2nd Cardassian: Ummm...*points* yeah, we do.

Cardassian *sees Jem'Hadar pointing rifles at him*: I see your point. *runs back to watch Weyoun*

Weyoun: Hi, I'm Weyoun 8. You may remember me from previous clones, like Weyoun 4, or Weyoun 2. Or my personal favorite, Weyoun 5.

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"Angels and Ministers of Grace, defend us"
-Hamlet, Act I, Scene IV

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Cardassian: "I don't care what he says. Times Square had a sense of reality to it, at least. Now look at it."

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"Near the door! They leave reality inside!"

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Weyoun: "And following the tragic death of Gul Etted in a freak gardening accident, I'm delighted to announce the new head of the Cardassian government will be Gul Ibbul."

Cardassian #1: "He'd have to be."

Cardassian #2: "Shhhh!"

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Cardassian: "Big Brother? Big Girl's Blouse more like."

Weyoun: "I heard that."

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

"It's the story
Of a man named Weyoun..."

First One: Another Irish stereotype joke, and for the love and honour o' God, mariodh me tu. Eist go maith liom.

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If no-one will play with me, then I'm going home,and I'm bringing the inflatible with me.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Weyoun: "Good evening. Today we'll be talking w/ Mr. Arthur 'Two-Sheds' Jackson..."

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"Flying Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard!"
-Inspector Fox, the Arguement Clinic sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Weyoun: "Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the planet."

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Weyoun: We have great news, citizens...DS9 has come to an end...

Damar: Quick! Change the channel before he reveals spoilers!!!

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

"Attention all Forum-goers: This is Charles Capps speaking..."

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"Flying Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard!"
-Inspector Fox, the Arguement Clinic sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus

Posted by The Excalibur (Member # 34) on :

Weyoun: Tonight, on bored with Britton, we delve into the amazing aspects of Deja Vu, the strage and errie feeling that you've done something before.

I'd like to introduce you to my cats, my ferrett, my weasel, oh, sorry, that's my ex boyfriend Jeffery!

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ALL GOOD THINGS

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Cardassian A: "Oh, you two aren't still watching this program, are you? It's trash."

Cardassian B: "Quiet! Weyoun just found out that Suzie's daughter ran off with his paternal uncle. But what she doesn't know is that he isn't his hereditary uncle."

Cardassian C: "She's just doing it to ruin Weyoun's upcoming marriage to Tracy. Why can't she let him live his life?"

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"Gone savage for teenagers with automatic weapons and boundless love."
--
Soul Coughing

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

A far better response, leaving Jeff Raven and Tahna Los as joint winners. Runners-up are First of Two and Warped1701. 8)

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

I'm greatly honored, oh wise one...but for which one?

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

And which one of mine too?

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Numb Sunscreen.