Flare Sci-Fi Forums: GuestCom 11: Plain and Simple (3)

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Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Ah, yes. Here I am. Yes, the eleventh GuestComs! They're the Plain and Simple, edition, I must add.
Alas, no DS9 images, but I've added some nice Innuendo Awards, so I suggest you try to go into the gutter. Or else.

Five lovely images here this week. And down the runway they come...

Alidar Jarok's Star Trek Image Library provides with an excellent look into the secret lives of an EMH and his nurse...

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Paris: Ow, what are you doing?

Doctor: I'm trying to knock you out!

Paris: Ow! By squeezing my freaking shoulder? What are you on?

Soctor: It's a *grunt* Vulcan nexk pinch!

Paris: Well, it bloody hurts. Now stop it before I knee you in the nadjers.

Yup, Paris is from the East-end...

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"In my defence that bush is actually quite big"
-M the F

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Paris: Why, I'm shocked Doctor.

Doctor: And your answer?

Paris: Oh, yes yes a thousand times yes!

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"In my defence that bush is actually quite big"
-M the F

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Doctor: And according to one of Liam's psychology tutors, when someone is being sarcastic they put their hand on the other person's shoulder.

Paris: Sounds like crap to me...

Doctor: That's what I thought Tom. BTW, I've noticed that you still have all your hair. You've not going bald in the slightest.

Paris: Thanks!

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"In my defence that bush is actually quite big"
-M the F

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

Paris: "I'm sorry, Doc, but I'm not that kind of guy."

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"I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know."
--Picard to Data, "In Theory"

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Doctor: Interesting, Mr. Paris... It seems that whenever I squeeze your shoulder like this, your mouth opens.

Paris: Really?

Doctor, while squeezing Paris' shoulder several times: Hi, I'm Tom Paris! I'm the quadrant's worst medic, but gosh darn it, I get all the babes!

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Garak: Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world.
Bashir: I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order.

-Deep Space Nine, "Our Man Bashir."

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Doctor: "I feel your pain..."

Paris: *pause* "Don't touch me."

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Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but, if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a 'dachshund'?"

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

Doc: Sit

Paris: No!

Doc: Yes. You've been a bad boy. Time out for you.

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Star Trek: Dark Horizon
Creator, Owner, Only Writer

Posted by Deep6 on :

Paris: Not here, meet me in my quarters in an hour.

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"So where are the nuggets on a chicken anyway?"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Doc: I love you, man!

Paris: You're still not getting my SynthBud light...

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Sunspot (Member # 77) on :

Doc: "Tom, have you put on weight?"

Tom: "Hey man, lay off! I'm just getting a li'l husky...s'all.."

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"You were right about the negotiations...they were short."
Obi-Wan Kenobi to QuiGon Jinn, The Phantom Menace

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

EMH: "Okay, so you put your hand on her shoulder, like this. Then what happened?"

Tom: "Then she did this Klingon martial arts move and threw me across the room. Here, let me show you."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

For fun, some of the junior officers would hack into the Doctor's program and replace his language matrix.

Doctor: "If I said that you had beautiful legs, vould you hold it against me?"

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"It's not my birthday, it's not today. It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me?"
--
They Might Be Giants

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Paris: "OPERATE?! But it's only dandruff!"

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

EMH: "Now, I'm just doing what the Captain asked. You DID say she could shove your second pip up your @$$ for all you cared?"

Paris: "I was kidding!"

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"I also received an interesting, if some-what perplexing, note from a 13-year-old lad who asked if I "had a clue." I fear I cannot adequately answer, as I am not aware of any immediate clues at hand; but that is not to say there are none present." - T. Herman Zweibel

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Paris: "You hate me! You've always hated me! And you're jealous, too!"

EMH: *reaches out* "Now, Tom, you know that's not true. . ."

Paris: "You lie! You want to be with Be'lanna, so her forehead will de-emphasize yours!"

EMH: "Actually, that's not a bad idea. . ."

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Tom: A little to the left... and stop digging your fingers in so hard!

Doc: Listen Tom, I'm a docter, not a professional Masseus! If you and Be'Lanna would stop playing around every night, you wouldn't have such awful muscle cramps!

Tom: That's none of your goddamn business - OUCH!!! *glares at the doc* Stop massaging so hard!!

Doc: Oh, BITE ME.

Tom: I think you're just jealous because you dont' get any - OUCH!! Knock it OFF already!
*storms out of the room*

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Cherish your visions; cherish your ideas; cherish the music that stirs in your heart,
the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for if
you remain true to them, your world will at last be built.

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Tom: "If I'd known *that* was a job requirement, I would have never become an intern."

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Paris: Yes! I can feel it! I DO have a heart!

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Paris: (struggling) Doctor... stop... trying... to assimilate... me...

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"Ooh, FASA." - The Shadow, aka Frank G - June 1999

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Paris: No, NO, the Vulcan Neck Pinch is much LOWER on the shoulder.

Doctor: Like this?

Paris: YEAH! *Collapses*

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Paris: Doctor, it hurts when I do this.

Doctor: generates fake glasses and a mustache Then don't do that.

Sorry folks, I had to do that one. It was just too easy.

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GGWK chick: I'll leave some pamphlets by the door
Cartman: Great we need some more toilet paper.

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

These entries are much better. Excellent.

The First One wins hands down (all of them were great!). Krenim gets the first runner-up (I can just picture that! *LOL*); Fabrux gets second runner-up.

Honourable mentions: Jubilee who can clearly be adorned with an Innuendo Award and Tora Ziyal for the obvious entry!

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

[This message has been edited by Elim Garak (edited June 27, 1999).]