Flare Sci-Fi Forums: GuestCom 11: Plain and Simple (4)

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Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Ah, yes. Here I am. Yes, the eleventh GuestComs! They're the Plain and Simple, edition, I must add.
Alas, no DS9 images, but I've added some nice Innuendo Awards, so I suggest you try to go into the gutter. Or else.

Five lovely images here this week. And down the runway they come...

Alidar Jarok's Star Trek Image Library again!

A spot of tea?

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

[This message was edited by Elim Garak on June 20, 1999.]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Data: I sense; anger, hatred, a brew of hostile hot emotions

Spock: Look, Data, the mind meld isn't designed to work with kettles.

Data: I sense confusion. It's saying to me 'who is the ugly big eared freak? Destroy him for me. Tear him apart' I must obey...

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"In my defence that bush is actually quite big"
-M the F

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Data discovers hash tea in Amsterdam.

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Picard: Well?

Janeway: Well?

Data: Yes, I'm getting something in my crystal ball... It's... It's... Earl Grey!

Picard: Woo hoo!

Janeway: D'oh!

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Garak: Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world.
Bashir: I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order.

-Deep Space Nine, "Our Man Bashir."

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Data creates a gadget that allows him to experience the human act of sneezing...

Data: "Ah�! Ah�! AH�! Ahh... AH�! Ahh... Aaaaah�! AH-CHOO!!! Yes! I did it! Guard your salad bars, everyone: Data can sneeze!"

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Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but, if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a 'dachshund'?"

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

Data: Yes! Yes!

Spot: Meow?

LaForge: What is it Data?

Data: I figured it out! I pour water into this kettle, turn on this element, and the water bubbles!

LaForge: Uh, Data, we've known about that for a long, long time...

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Star Trek: Dark Horizon
Creator, Owner, Only Writer

Posted by Deep6 on :

Data: Geordi, you were correct, inhaling the fumes of this coolant does have a debilitating affect.

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"So where are the nuggets on a chicken anyway?"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Data gets stoked on a 24th century bong...

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

*ROTFLMHO*

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Data: "Oh yeah, that's the kind. Hey Geordie, drink some of this shit, it'll knock you on your ass."

Geordie: "What is that stuff?"

Data: "Doctor Crusher gave it to me. She called it a 'placibo.' And I'm as high as a kite."

Geordie: "Far out."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Can't be any worse than Liam's, so...

Data: "Not now, honey, our guests will be here shortly."

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"It's not my birthday, it's not today. It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me?"
--
They Might Be Giants

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

And I ment his entry in a different one.

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"It's not my birthday, it's not today. It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me?"
--
They Might Be Giants

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Data: "Aaah. . . that's the stuff."

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Data: "Mmm, yes. . . Lapsang Soochong, from the northern slope of a hill in the Kwangji Province of China, picked on. . . a Tuesday, by a labourer called Chang. Chang had rice and fish for dinner the night before. . ."

Riker: *snore*

Picard: "Mental note, Counselor Troi: Data is to be invited to no more tea-tastinf sessions."

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Data: "It's....erm... a..kettle! And.."

Show host: "THAAAAAAAT's correct, Data! Now let's take a look at what you've won."

Data: "Hey, what about the flask? I didn't get the flask. Doesn't the flask count?"

Show host: *listens to loudspeaker in ear* "THAAAAAAAT's correct, Data!" etc.

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 46357.9: While on route to somewhere or other, we're going to have one of those tedious episodes where a vague scientific back-story is going on to draw attention away from one of those interminable 'Troi gets PMT' shows. Accordingly Mr. Data is experimenting with chemicals located on a desert world in the Arrakis sector."

Data: "I believe this is called the 'Water of Life' and will kill those who are unable to control their metabolism. . . My God! I see it all! The Spice is Life!"

Worf: *over Commbadge* "Bridge to Captain Picard. There is a large sandworm off the starboard bow asking to speak to an individual known as Muad'dib."

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Data learns the hardway that home-made alcohol really can make you go blind.

[This message has been edited by Xentrick (edited June 24, 1999).]

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Data tries to put the water in the kettle using the 'Force'

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"Ooh, FASA." - The Shadow, aka Frank G - June 1999

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

While transferring liquid hydrogen between containers, Data accidentally spills some in his lap...

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Data: And would you like fries with that??!!?

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

When going through his mementos after his trip to romulas with picard - he finds a cloaking device he can't remember where he got

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"Ooh, FASA." - The Shadow, aka Frank G - June 1999

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Riker: "So, how's it going since your replicator stopped working, captain?"

Picard: "Actually, I've found a viable alternative..." *pulls a cord in the ceiling and a bell is heard*

Data: *walks in* "You raaaaang?"

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Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but, if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a 'dachshund'?"

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

This time, the winner is Sol System for the "honey" gag (innuendo galore). Krenim and Tahna Los are both the runners-up.

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

[This message has been edited by Elim Garak (edited June 27, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Elim Garak (edited June 28, 1999).]

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Now, hold on a minute. TSN was the one who used "viable alternative." So do I win, and you named the wrong joke, or did he win, and you named the wrong person?

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"Breath...keep breathing. I can't do this alone"
--
Radiohead

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

You won, Simon, he just put in the wrong joke when he went back into his reply to say which joke it was. I complained, you see - I hate not knowing which joke won, he said, ignoring the fact that every CapCom he's ever done has had someone asking him the same thing. . .

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Argh! I meant for the "honey" comment. *fixes post accordingly*

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")