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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Here's the second installment of the Star Wars Capcom! This time we feature Episode 5...

The crew finds out exactly who cut one...

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"I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."


 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
Leia: "Haven't we passed that asteroid before?"

Han: "Oh, fer cryin' out loud, will ya shuddap already? WE AREN"T LOST AND I AM NOT STOPPING TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!"

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[Attempt the second:]

Leia: "What do you mean that was the last rest area for the next 12 parsecs and YOU JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE STOPPING?!?"

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"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Leia: "I'm in a cramped ship w/ an outsize circus dog-boy and a droid that's grabbing my ass, and now you say you don't know where we are?! AUGH!!!"

Solo: *thinks* I am so going to push her out an airlock...

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"Imagine all the people, living life in peace..."
-John Lennon, "Imagine"

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited July 05, 1999).]
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Solo: "Y'know, Chewie, she thinks I'm a scruffy-looking nerf-herder, but she should try spending a week in a ship w/ a funky-haired, big-bummed pain-in-the-ass..."

Leia: "Who are you calling 'big-bummed'?!"

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"Imagine all the people, living life in peace..."
-John Lennon, "Imagine"

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited July 05, 1999).]
 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Solo: "Oh, yeah, the Hyperdrive - I knew I forgot something. I thought that piece of machinery those snowtroopers hid behind looked familiar!"

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"I am smart! I am smart! s-m-a-t, I mean s-m-a-R-t!"

 


Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
 
C3P0: Dear me, doesn't Han look strange just staring out into space like that?

Leia: Wait a minute... this isn't Han! It's a cardboard cut-out!

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Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.

-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."

 


Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
 
C-3PO: The odds of Leia giving you some when we land are 1,345,675,234,455,789.987 to one.

Han: THANK you, Goldenrod for your input. Now go find an airlock to step out of.

Leia: I'd rather kiss a wookie!

Chewie: Yrrrgh Grrn!!*


*Translation: HELL no!

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"Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned"


 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Han: OK, whos got the Keys?

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WHO ARE YOU
 


Posted by Warped1701 (Member # 40) on :
 
Leia: *points at Han* So you're the one who left the seat up!

C3P0: Well, he is the only man on board.

Chewie: *growl, snarl*

C3P0: No, Wookies don't count. Hey! What're you doing! *shouts as he is thrown out the airlock*

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"I see you have the ring. And that your Schwartz is as big as mine!
-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs


 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Leia: "Han, snookums, you promised that *I* could ride up front."

Han: "Sorry, doll, Chewie called shotgun."


 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Leia: "But, we don't have time to go back."

Han: "Damn it, I want what's mine."

Chewie: {they always fuck you at the drive-thru.}
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Everyone but Han: "What?!"

Han: "Well...I mean...not exactly never. I mean, I'm real good at Microsoft Flight Simulator."

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"And give me back my evil heart so I can see you as you are."
--
John Linnell
 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Solo: "You know they're already planning the porn version if this film - The Empire Strokes Butt. You should see what the four of us get up to."

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"I am smart! I am smart! s-m-a-t, I mean s-m-a-R-t!"

 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Solo: "So, Princess - a giant snake buried deep inside a cavern. Does this make you horny?"

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"I am smart! I am smart! s-m-a-t, I mean s-m-a-R-t!"

 


Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Everyone but Han: Exactly where is Luke??

Han: He is...um...you've seen Police Academy right?? *zip* Ooooooooo yeah!!

Everyone else: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited July 06, 1999).]
 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Han: I'm sorry Leia, but I'm in love with Chewie.

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WHO ARE YOU
 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
Leia: "What's wrong now?"
Han: "Uh...Chewie, how do we know when the ship runs out of fuel, anyway?"

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http://frankg.dgne.com/
"I could never sleep my way to the top, 'cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up." - TMBG
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Threepio: Doesn't this picture look familiar to you?

Han: Nah. Luke's missing. Leia's got rid of her headphone haircut, and I'm actually wearing different clothes for once. And 'old actor-guy' isn't saying "I have a bad feeling about this". It's a completly different situation.

Leia: We're coming out of the asteroid field. Let's head for that moon over there.

Han: I have a bad feeling about this.

(everyone looks at Han)

Han: D'oh!

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"Fool! I am Cher! Admired by millions for my couple of talents."
-The Brain
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Leia: I thought you know where you were going!

han: Hey, it's not my fault. It's too bright in here. I'm sure that there were less lights in here in the last movie.

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"Fool! I am Cher! Admired by millions for my couple of talents."
-The Brain
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Liea: You're crazy to go into an asteroid field! What are you stupid?

Chewie: Harrrrrrrgggggggnnnnngggg!

C-3PO: Oh my, this ship really is lacking in the way of decor...Could use some drapes and maybe some solid colors, instead of all these lights... Oh my, Han, why do they call this a *giggle* 'cockpit'?

Han: *thinks* Just great, stuck up here in the ship with a whiny chick, a smelly furball, and a gay robot...somebody just freeze me in carbonite or something...

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"I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."


 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Han singing: I can't get no, satisfaction, I can't get no, girlie action, but I try, but I try, but I try, but I try, I can't get no...

Leia thinking: I'd rather kiss a Wookie.

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WHO ARE YOU
 


Posted by Michael Dracon (Member # 4) on :
 
Leia: "Dodge this!"

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"Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here,
but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way!"

- Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
 


Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :
 
Leia: Okay...hold still...hold VERY VERY still....
Han: hur-ry! its sucking my brain out of my skull for cryin' out loud!
C-3PO: Nonsense. It's only a...little bug...really.

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}�������������������������
 


Posted by Michael Dracon (Member # 4) on :
 
Leia: "Next time give us the CORRECT odds willya!!"

C-3PO: "But..."

Leia: "Shuddap!"

Han: "OOOOOoo..., a little higher. Yes there!! AAAAaahh!"

Chewbaca: *grin*

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"Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here,
but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way!"

- Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[This message has been edited by Altair (edited July 09, 1999).]
 


Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
 
Han: (Typing) There is something with a large eye crawling up my leg.*

*Red Dwarf Reference

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"Ooh, FASA." - The Shadow, aka Frank G - June 1999


[This message has been edited by AndrewR (edited July 10, 1999).]
 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
Leia: "Watch out, everyone! It's mesmerising. Don't look straight ahead or you'll find out how big Jar Jar's bum really does look in that."

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Solo: "Hey! it's seven-oh-five in the A M and I'm your DJ Han The Man Solo saying, welcome back to Corellian Pirate radio!"

Leia: "But Han, what about those concert tickets you promised to give away to the tenth caller!"


Solo: "Yeah, if we play Ozzy and Rob Zombie back-to-back, be caller ten to score backstage passes for Ozfest. What do ya say to that, Wookie-man Jack?"

Chewie "Howwwwllll."

Han: "Now here's Professor Goldenrod with the traffic and weather..."
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Sol System, come on down! First place for the Flight simulator joke...You mean it doesn't count as flight hours??
Second place falls to the Shadow, for capturing something that actually might have been in the movie...

Honorable mention goes to Xentrick for the final one, because this actually does look like a radio studio, doesn't it?

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"I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."


 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Woohoo!

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"And give me back my evil heart so I can see you as you are."
--
John Linnell
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Woohoo too!
 
Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Leia: If you don't turn around and pick up my matched luggage, the deal's off.

Han: What do you think this is, a Winnebago

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Nurse: Can I help you?
Stan: We're here to commit our friend, Kyle.
Nurse: Reason?
Kyle: I'm a clinically depressed fecalpheliac on Prozac.
Nurse: JACKET!!

 




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