Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Star Trek's Worst TV Commercials !

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Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :

Hi all.. came up with a great idea .. and had to share it.. Ok .. here's the game.

Pick your favorite Star Trek Character and write a commercial for him/her..

Example:

Riker: "Are you human, and have sexual desires for a wild klingon woman, and just can't handle the way she has sex?
"Hi, I'm Commander William T. Riker, and I have just the thing for you!'

*holds up a hypospray*

"Viagral-poly-hypotetrazene will not only keep you up and going for hours longer, surgeons at Starfleet Medical have found that it has an adverse effect on Klingon women rendering them unconscious with the right dosage; allowing you hours of pleasure, without any risk to your health and well-being

"So come on ... do what I do ... get VPH now .. it's recommended by 1 of every 10 doctors"

*showing a sparkle in Riker's eye*

"You might even live to tell about it!!"

*********
Ok.. I know, I've got a sick sense of humour.. but it's hilarious !

Ok.
So .. let's see your commercial scripts everyone!!!

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-There can be only Nine !! ..mmm.. maybe 10 !!

- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:

[This message has been edited by Alshrim Dax (edited February 06, 2000).]

Posted by Mythril (Member # 286) on :

Counselor Troi's Sex Line.

"She can feel you pain"

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I am not responsible for the stupidity of other people.

Posted by Justin_Timberland (Member # 236) on :

Are you feeling the pressures of deep space exploration? Is your anti-matter tank ready to explode? Do you wish to launch a full spread of torpedoes out this minute?

Well then boys, maybe you should stop by Seven of Nine's House of Borg Babes where you get to meet the finest femme fatals of the Alpha, Beta, and Delta Quadrents. They'll show you their "enhanced" components and demonstrate their individual talents.

So head at Sector 069 to experience a collective sorts at Seven of Nine's House of Borg Babes. We'll keep the alcoves charged and waiting for you...

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Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

-Britney Spears

Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :

So far .. these are great . I knew this would be a funny thread !

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-There can be only Nine !! ..mmm.. maybe 10 !!

- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

*shot of bridge crew of Enterprise sitting around staring blankly, slumped over, mouths open, etc.*

*Tholian/Cardassian/Romulan/AotW ship approaches, charging weapons*

*shot of man on nacelled bicycle who looks down at a blip on his radar screen and goes to warp*

*man beams onto Enterprise bridge, opens a case, and pulls out apples for everyone*

*bridge crew bite into apples and wake up*

bridge crew: "Thanks, Appleguy!"

Appleguy: "No problem, starship troopers!"

*Appleguy warps away on his bicycle as the E blows up the enemy ship in the background*

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Lisa: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Bart: "Not if you called them 'stench blossoms'..."
-The Simpsons

Posted by Justin_Timberland (Member # 236) on :

*Livin' La Vida Loca begins*

Seven of Nine lying across a couch: What is desire? Is it a chemical reaction or an idea?

:: sits up and shows her 'assets' ::

Or is it a feeling you experience when you see an older man behind a desk? Maybe it's just a bra...

:: turns around and takes off her bra ::

Desire, only from Veronica's Closet
Now available at Bloomingdales and Macy's

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Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

-Britney Spears