This is topic The Perfect Answer. in forum Forum Competitions at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Okay the rules are simple.
1. Answers may be of the following: A witty answer to a question, a witty remark to a statement, a snap.
2. Be creative (No old snaps like "Yo momma's so fat when she wear a Malcolm X Shirt, Choppers land on her."
3. "You throw a wack snap you gotta go" (The answer doesn't meet my high standards, you lose and are out of the contest immediately. The last one standing is the winner.)
4. Additional questions may follow to weed out the champions from the losers.

______________________________________________________

1. Something weird just happened......

2. Why is it that everytime I turn on the radio, I hear the same three songs, fifteen times a day, for three months?

3. Brother can you spare a dime?

4. Damnit Jim...

5. "Wow Professor Oak, Pikachu is the best of all!"

And some word associations.

6. Kitty Litter

7. broomrape

8. enuresis

9. Macintosh

10. Spread Eagle

and to finish it off, a definition.

11. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Have fun!

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide

[This message has been edited by Saiyanman Benjita (edited April 13, 2000).]
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
1. Something weird just happened......

Yeah, somebody came up w/ an original contest...

2. Why is it that everytime I turn on the radio, I hear the same three songs, fifteen times a day, for three months?

You've got it in "CD Player" mode...

3. Brother can you spare a dime?

No, but I'll spare your ass from my boot if you turn around and leave right now...

4. Dammnit Jim...

...I don't know whether to spell it "dammit" or "damn it"!

5. "Wow Professor Oak, Pikachu is the best of all!"

...said Ash to Professor "Hard as an" Oak on the new adult spinoff of a favorite children's show, Pornémon.

6. Kitty Liter

Not quite the same as a Kitty Quart, eh?

7. broomrape

Things done "in the closet".

8. enuresis

teacher: "Johnny, use this word in a sentence: enuresis."
Johnny: "When I traded part of my lunch today, I told Sam 'I want your candy bar enuresis peanut-butter cup.'"

9. Macintosh

Same to you!

10. Spread Eagle

You first...

11. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Neo-Nazis.

my reasoning:
anti- == "against"
-dis- == "insult"
-est- == Latin for "is"
-abl- == like "able"
-ish- == "kinda like"
-ment- == from "mentality"
-arianism == "Aryanism"

So, it's people who are opposed to allowing insults toward Aryanists.

------------------
"Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women!"
-Geordi LaForge to Wesley Crusher, TNG: "Sarek"
 


Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
1) ...And, damnit, I forgot my video camera!

2) Because Ricky Martin was born

3) I'm your sister...

4) ...I don't know how to spell damnit!

5) "Now who's up next for the 'First To Hell' award?"

6) Damnit, I told you a thousand times! Not in the cereal, in the LITTER BOX!

7) *gets dictonary* *looks up broomrape* *realizes he has a sick, sick mind*

8) ENURESIS!
*slapped by all the woman around*

9) Trash Can

10) SCORE!

11) Supercalifragilisticexbealidocios

------------------
"The things hollow--it goes on forever--and--oh my God!--it's full of stars!" -David Bowman's last transmission back to Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey

The 359 Webpage


 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
1. Something weird just happened......
So that's where the smell is coming from...

2. Why is it that everytime I turn on the radio, I hear the same three songs, fifteen times a day, for three months?
Hmmm...maybe if you turned the radio off, it would solve the problem.

3. Brother can you spare a dime?
No, but I can spare some advice. GET A JOB!

4. Dammnit Jim...
I'm a doctor, not one of those fancy schmancy EMHs...

5. "Wow Professor Oak, Pikachu is the best of all!"
Who knew the little furball could clean clogs in the toilet so well...

6. Kitty Liter
Oh yeah, Kitty Liter... new flavor of snapple, I take it.

7. broomrape
What does parasitic herbs of the genus Orobanche, having purplish or yellowish flowers and small scalelike leaves that lack chlorophyll have to do with anything?

8. enuresis
Hmmm... incontinence eh? Where do you get these, dude?

9. Macintosh
Welcome to Frank-Mart. Crapintosh accessories, Aisle G.

10. Spread Eagle
I heard that stuff is good on biscuits...

11. Antidisestablishmentarianism

Anti=against
dis=not
establishment=government(close enough)
arian=someone of, or to be of
ism=set policy of

I would have to say its a policy to be against anarchists...

------------------
"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond, UB Student


 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
You know, it's much easier to be funny when you're not trying to be. Forcing people to be amusing usually results in a lot of clever plays on words, but little actual humour. So this time, I am goign to make no effort, and just use rude words in an attempt to be big and hard.

1. Something weird just happened......

Fucked if I know what it was though.

2. Why is it that everytime I turn on the radio, I hear the same three songs, fifteen times a day, for three months?

Because you're a donkey-raping shit-eater?

3. Brother can you spare a dime?

No, because you are homeless scum who will spend it on booze. Go and get washed, get a job, and stop making me feel like shit for actually having a normal life.

4. Dammnit Jim...

I got my fecking arse stuck in the toilet again.

5. "Wow Professor Oak, Pikachu is the best of all!"

Well, In Pokemon Yellow he is, because he now learns Thunderbolt at level 25, which is quite a powerful attack. And he's cute and adorable. Still, he's obviously not as good a Pokemon as Charmander, who, even though he talks like a gib girls blouse and acts like a big girls blouse, will actually evolve into a decent Pokemon, and he'll listen to you if you're actually a good trainer, and don't give away all your best Pokemon for shit reasons. GO BACK AND GET BUTTERFREE, YOU JOBER! And Pigeot. And Primeape. And I hear that after Charizard finally starts listening to you, you give HIM away too. DO YOU HAVE TUMOUR PUSS FOR BRAINS ASH?

6. Kitty Liter

Big shiter.

7. broomrape

What Justin does.

8. enuresis

What Justin gets after a session of broomraping.

9. Macintosh

What Justin is going to through at me once he reads this.

10. Spread Eagle

Justin's favourite sexual positon.

11. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

"Arse-biscuits".

Have fun!

I had more fun the time I accidently got my bollocks stuck in a dogs mouth.

------------------
"Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be."
Sol System
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
The real question is what Liam was doing putting genitals into a dog to begin with...

------------------
"Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women!"
-Geordi LaForge to Wesley Crusher, TNG: "Sarek"
 


Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
 
Turns Back on PsyLiam's Post ~ Not funny!


1. Something weird just happened......

*** Britney Spears had a thought, but it slipped her mind ***


2. Why is it that everytime I turn on the radio, I hear the same three songs, fifteen times a day, for three months?

*** The Radio Station saves money by buying 3 CD's, using them for 3 months and then returning them unsatisfied for the next 3 CD's ***

3. Brother can you spare a dime?

*** I can't even afford my own time ***

4. Damnit Jim...

*** ... What the hell's the matter with you, other people die, why can't you just accept that you're dead!! ***

5. "Wow Professor Oak, Pikachu is the best of all!"

*** Let's kill them all ***

And some word associations.

6. Kitty Litter

*** Makes for good source of fiber ***

7. broomrape

*** ... Is cruel and unusual punishment ****

8. enuresis

*** Better get that checked!! ***

9. Macintosh

~ IMac Review ~ Go Here ~ Nuff Said!!!


10. Spread Eagle

*** If it taste like chicken ... ***

and to finish it off, a definition.

11. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

*** Gazountite ***

------------------
-There can be only Nine !! ..mmm.. maybe 10 !!

- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:

[This message has been edited by Alshrim Dax (edited April 14, 2000).]
 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
I may have to make this contest a little easier, since noone's passed. Unfortunately, it's hard to be perfect 11 times.
------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide

[This message has been edited by Saiyanman Benjita (edited April 14, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Saiyanman Benjita (edited April 14, 2000).]
 


Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
HE GIVES CHARIZARD AWAY?!?!
What kind of knob is Ash??!

*Someone mail Justin. You know, just to see what answers he'd give.*

------------------
Devil: Oh look at the time! I'm late for services.
Stone: Services?
Devil: A group of young teenagers that have been celebrating the Black Sabbath are planning on deep-sixing their gym teacher tonight. I'm gonna go and give them a little encouragement.

Brimstone. May it rest in syndication.



 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Ya He gives him away, dude. Charizard finally stops frying up Ash to, well Ashes, and Ash dumps him like a bad habit. Butterfree is understandable, but Ash gives away Primeape just as he starts listening (and kicking some a$$, might I add.), he gives away Pidgeot, his most loyal pokemon (including Pikachu, cause Pidgeotto listened to Ash from the very beginning.), just after it evolved. Not to mention the fact that Ash doesn't take the opportunities to catch more pokemon (see-Zubat, Kabuto, Weedle, The entire Bug Pokemon episode from a couple of weeks ago.)

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
Dude, are you guys talking about pokemons?

~faint~

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by The Talented Mr. Gurgeh (Member # 318) on :
 
Squirtle is looking to be fairly loyal too, though....

------------------
Try not.
Do.
Or Do not.
There is no try.


 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
You guys need to ween off the Pokemon stuff. Get some REAL anime, like Gundam Wing, or Nadesico, or Vision of Escaflowne, or Ghost in the Shell, or Rourouni Kenshin, or Blue Seed, or Kit, or Perfect Blue, or Flame of Recca or Evangelon, etc et. al.

If one loves prime rib, why eat on McDonald's hamburgers? Like McDonalds, Pokemon is bland, crude, and never looks as good as its avertised.

------------------
"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
One eats at McDonald's when there's nowhere else to go (i.e. you have 2.00 in your pocket and want a burger fries and a coke.) One watches Pokemon because it's the best thing our pathetic American television shows. (However Cartoon Network has pitted up newly-dubbed versions of DBZ up against the new Pokemon episodes, so I think popularity will lose out to the quality of a better cartoon. Same goes for Gundam Wing. However the other episodes of Pokemon are fitted into weak timeslots, so Pokemon increses in it's popularity by beating out the weaker shows (like Ronin Warriors). As for Ghost in the shell and the other anime you mentioned, some people just don't get it, so they don't know.

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
You know, I'd actually watch anime shows if they were ever broadcast over here - problem is kids would actually watch them and therefore have their feeble little minds incontrovertibly warped before pubesence sets in. One should always wait for pubesence for one's mind to get incontrovertibly warped.

Besides, I'd feel weird going into a video store and bringing home some anime that turns out to be some Manga filth. That's probably an over-reaction to something that's never happened. What are they called?

What about the good cartoons, like Gargoyles?
Roswell Conspiracies isn't half bad, or at least it wouldn't be if the audio heads on our video weren't screwed up. Mummies Alive is shite, and I honestly don't know what to make of Starship Troopers (again, the damned audio heads).

And the only reason I watch Pokemon is because, unlike many Europeans, I actually played the game before I saw the cartoon and was impressed by the close links the games and the cartoon share. That and the fact that it dominates nearly all the videos at home that don't have my name on them.

------------------
Devil: Oh look at the time! I'm late for services.
Stone: Services?
Devil: A group of young teenagers that have been celebrating the Black Sabbath are planning on deep-sixing their gym teacher tonight. I'm gonna go and give them a little encouragement.

Brimstone. May it rest in syndication.



 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
Actually, if you look hard enough, there's probabaly an store that carry animes titles around your somewhere around your neighbourhood.

Anime are sooooooo much more superior then American comics and cartoon.

Take Spawn for example, one of the most popular comics in North America, but it is a spin-off from "Guyver: Bio-Boosted Armour" which is like Japanese Manga from the early 80s.

And the stories of anime are actually changing unlike the always "super heros" theme of the North American comics. If any of you guys seen Evangelion before, then you know what I'm talking about, but it did seriously pissed off some Christian society in North America

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
A warning though, Japanese people really likes to tie "porno" to their anime, so choose wisely. But if you stick with the big titles, then you should be okey.

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
BlueElectron, the word is "Hentai" in Japanese. Anime is just like what we have in live action films. Drama, comedy, action, etc. and Porno as well. Hentai can be avoided as any porno film can, as its usually hidden off in the 18-or-older section.

------------------
"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
I know what hentai is, but seriously though, almost every single anime out there have some form of "sex" in it, even the non-hentai one.

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
And the scary thing is, most of the anime are not rated back in Asia, they're only rated once they are translated and published in English.

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Blue, you can make the same assumption about live action films here too! Most of them have some sort of sex in the as well.

And I say bah to the translated stuff. Subtitles is by far better.

------------------
"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
That's because sex is spoken of more freely in Japan than in the more "Christian" parts of the world. Same thing with nudity. It's widely accepted and most of the times goes along with the story. Ever seen DBZ? The parts where Goku (original DB series), and Gohan change back from the were-apes. Their clothes are torn to shreds, so obviously they are going to be naked (unlike the Hulk, whose muscles rip off all but a very versatile pair of shorts.) Then when they stand up, there's a well placed branch (by the American editors) over their butt. Most of the sexually oriented material is put with the adult videos, but you should expect a little nudity, or sexual innuendo, just because the culture allows it.

PS what about the Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, or South Park? They have bare butts, sexual innuendo, and the such in their cartoons, too?

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
My friend, on that notion, I'm sorry to inform you that you're wrong.

Having a family background compose of entirely of Asian culture, I know that for a fact, most Asian cultures are much less open then general white cultures, the topics of "sex" was and still is consider a "taboo" for them.

Hell, in the early mid 80s to early 90s, when students come across the human sexuality unit in CALM class back in many asian nations (including mine homeland of course), the teachers usually avoid teaching the unit, and tell student to study the text by themselves.

Beside, sometime you have to question Japanese approach to the issue of "sex". After all, they do have the biggest and maybe the sickist porn industry in the world. They DO like to associate sex with every form of public media, and I believe they do it in a subtle yet perverted kinda way, not the "clean, safe, positive" kinda sex that people would prefer.

I don't know if anyone understands what I'm saying, but I hope that I made sense.

------------------
Okey, okey, here's my question:

If you are an immortal, do you "rot" simply because of the
nuclear decay of the Carbon-14 particles inside your body?
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Wasn't there some kind of sex thing in the original Pokémon theme song, which was, of course, changed in the American version? I heard that somewhere...

------------------
"Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women!"
-Geordi LaForge to Wesley Crusher, TNG: "Sarek"
 


Posted by The Talented Mr. Gurgeh (Member # 318) on :
 
I'm a bit of an anime fan myself, titles like Ghost in the Shell and Fist of the North Star offer a refreshing change to the same old crap we get here. The fact that most of these films have some sort of sexual innuendo doesn't bother me, though. I really don't see what the big deal is.
The only problem is that the TV companies here don't seem to want to show them.(Pussies). I bought a few on video, but shelling out 15 for a film every time you want to watch anime is too expensive,(especially if each one is just a half-hour installment of a 12-part series) and the video rental agencies here never have manga either. It's not too bad if a group of friends are into it as well and you can share videos.
I think the problem is that most people here don't take animated films seriously, they think that animation is only for comedy and children's programs. Think of the resources that went into films like Pocahontas etc. If that kind of money was put into anime....(druelling at the mouth).
By the way, did anyone see the live action version of FoTNS (crap) and Crying Freeman(excellent)?

------------------
"Try not.
Do.
Or Do not.
There is no try."
-Yoda, Jedi Master.



 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Hey Gurgeh, have you tried finding some place that carries fan-subbed titles? These are normally cheaper than the commercially subtitled versions. Plus, you can find anime online as well. Some places carry files of entire episodes.

------------------
"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
The original Japanese opening (which is FAR FAR FAR better than the quite good US one), has the line that goes something like "i'll travel far and wide and under the skirt of a girl" *scream*. It's the opening shot, which in the Japanese version is where we get the fast pull back of Charizard, Blastoise and Venussaur, then Pikachu runs past that girl. Strangely, he DOES run past, not under. It's got excellent music though. Get the Japanese CD if you can.

Actually, the new Jolt League intro looks cool too.

If you're intrested, as of the Jolt League eps (Gold/Silver series), according to the titles, Ash has the three new starter Pokemon (Crocodile, weird poo onlegs thing, and the other one), pluis Squirtle, Bulbasaur and Charizard. Misty is holding Togepi. Brock's there (yaaa) but we don't see his Pokemon. I think someone might have kept Tracy's Meril though. (Although they should keep his Scyther. He was a bad-ass).

Actually, isn't Bulbasaur his most loyal Pokemon? He's not cocky like Squirtle. He's not in love with him liek Pikachu. He's just there, reliable, dependable, and yet incapable of using his solar-beam attack more than once a season. Tsk.

Oh, and Team Rocket get Snubble. I think. And Tracy stays with Prof Oak (don't scream too loudly).

Still let's hope that Squirlte and Bulby don't evolve eh? Okay, so Blastiose is cool, but Venusaur is the ugliest thing I've seen since, well, Victreebel.

------------------
"Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be."
Sol System

 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
I just couldn't see Bulbasaur with the same attitude (stubborn, yet loyal) as a Venusaur (Victreebel is definitely the ugliest, but Venusaur is definitely in the top 10), Squirtle will never disown his formal Squirtle squad members (which is why he still keeps the glasses) I still think Ash is a dumbass for letting Pidgeot go, but what's worse is that he doesn't catch any new ones (but maybe once or twice a season.)

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
What makes it even more stupid was the fact that Pigeotto was about the only Pokemon that Ash actually caught (apart from Caterpie), using Pokemon, and Pokeballs, rather than just being nice and having them follow (Squirtle, Charmander, Lapras, blah blah).

And I think Squirtle just keeps the glasses cause they look cool.

Anyway, how does Ash catch the snot on legs and the other two gold/silver Pokemon? Does someone drop a pie, Ash makes a new one, and they are so overwhelmed by his niceness that they just tag along?

And who gets to keep Scyther? Eh?

------------------
*Amusing quote not available, please call back later*

 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Snot on legs as in Primeape? He caught him fair and square (Charmander beat it down with Rage).

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
No, not that snot on legs. One of the new three. The new Bulbasaur grass/poinson one. The one that does razor-leaf in the Jolt League intro. The one that isn't the cutee crocodile or the fire, er, thingy.

------------------
*Amusing quote not available, please call back later*

 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
OH. I think all the gold/silver Pokemon look really weird (except Lugia and Togepi, although Togechikku looks kinda goofy)

------------------
Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang
me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider
Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak
Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide


 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
You know what? I hate those evil creatures known as Pokemon, but this Easter I did something special for my brother. I decorated an egg so it exactly like Pikachu. I feel dirty now.

------------------
"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

 




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