'Twas the night before Christmas And all through Afghanistan Not a creature was living Not even the Taliban...
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
George W. Bush:
T’was the night before Christmas, And all through Afghanistan Not a creature was living, Not even the Taliban;
The missiles were stored in the armory compound, In hopes that Osama bin Laden would soon be found. The soldiers were nestled all snug in their barracks, While air raids of the mountains were planned back to back;
Dubya in the White House and Dick in his hideout, Had just settled down for a long winter’s bout, When out in hideout arose such a clatter, That Dick went into arrest and needed a defibrillator.
Away to the compound Dubya ran like the wind, It was his hope that Dick was on the mend. Cheney was resting on the freshly cleaned sheets, It was only a minor attack caused by the lack of heat.
When Dubya went to the office for a snack, A stack of reports was discovered that seemed out of whack. He grabbed the top paper and scanned it in a flash, Dubya instantly was hurt as if in a crash.
For you see, boys and girls, the report was important, It contained the intelligence on the al-Qeida informant. It would be a sad Christmas for people all over the world, The children would faint, yes, the sails of sadness would be unfurled.
Dubya and Dick would have to attend another funeral, The one would be more somber than the previous several. They will bawl out their eyes as if sprayed with mace, For it seems that Santa Claus did not survive Afghani air space.
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
Death (standing in the dooropening in the book): ALBERT? WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
"This is one of my favorite books, chill'un...I jes' LOVE these ones...see, you pull this here lever & airthang MOVES! HeeHEEEE!!"
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
Dubya: No, I can't actually read the words, I just look at the pictures.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Quietly to herself: "It would be cute when he tries to read if only it weren't so sad."
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
Bush Jr: "Now you kids grow up to be good little Republicans and Santa will give you presents. But Democrats get a lump of coal. Mess with Texas, get coal."
Posted by MIB: Now with more chunks of meat (Member # 426) on :
Kid in Pink: Mr. President. That's a picture of Santa. Not your dad.
Baby Bush: Does it matter? They both brought presents to the good little girls and boys didn't they?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Siegfried: Argh. You overdid it and ruined my joke. :-)
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
2nd-grader-in-chief: ...Right. Now what's this word?
kids: Tree
2nd-grader-in-chief: I actually knew that one.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
PJ O'Rourke (V.O.): "I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
"God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.
"Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's non-threatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such things as Santa Claus."
Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
Lee, that is the funniest thing I've read on this board in 2 years. Thank you Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Don't thank me, thank PJ. 8)
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Except, of course, that God doesn't exist either. Oh, well.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It's only funny in that I can laugh at the idiot that said it. :-)
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
quote: Except, of course, that God doesn't exist either. Oh, well.
