Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
I'n on a roll, somebody stop me
1). How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator door, put in the giraffe and close the door.
(* This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way *)
2). How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator door, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
(* This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions *)
3). The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
(* This tests your memory. Even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities *)
4). There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
(* This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes *)
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. AC says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
------------------ "Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"
[This message has been edited by The_Evil_Lord (edited April 23, 2001).]
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
That's it. I'm mailing this one out to my friends!!!!
------------------ "In a completely unrelated news story, I have a date tomorrow night." - Omega, in trying to explain why pigs are now flying, why Microsoft products are now working perfectly, hell freezing over, and George W Bush giving a flawless speech. 04/06/01, 12:17AM
posted
There's a flaw in the last question. Supposedly, the only animal not at the meeting is the one in the refrigerator. Therefore, the person answering the question is also at the meeting, and therefore cannot be crossing the river.
------------------ "Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow." -Maynard James Keenan
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted) *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001 *** "I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.
Mammals = Animals, last time I watched Discovery Channel. (Obviously, for the horse sex, mind you.)
------------------ "Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."
-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.
posted
JeffK: Not animals, are we? Well, that leaves plants, fungi, protists, or monerans. Which are we, then?
------------------ "Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow." -Maynard James Keenan
It should be "What element is your Battle Beast: Fire, Wood or Water?"
------------------ At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.
"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"
posted
I dread to ask, but MsChris, your husbands what is fire?
And doesn't it burn?
------------------ You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston." -Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park
------------------ At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.
"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"
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