posted
So I was working tonight, running between the slap table, the cut table, and the driver stand, when an insider on till calls me over. A very irate elderly dude is holding a $50 bill, and promptly begins to assail our corporate policy on cash: we don't accept bills over $20, a policy which this very kind, sweet insider was trying to explain to him.
Now, here's the thing. Lots of people try to pay with $50's, and while the sign says "Nothing Over $20", really, so long as the change back is less than $20, we're okay with it. And y'know, if he'd said, "Look, it's all I got, I'll never do it again, please?" I'd probably have said, "Sure, go ahead."
Instead, he begins ranting and raving. Like most airheads, he assumes that since I am here, I set the corporate policy. Yes, I a lonely shift manager, has the ability to set corporate policy. I try to explain this to him, y'know, that a big Papa out in Kentucky sets corporate policy, but he's having none of it.
He goes on a tirade about how a $50 bill is legal US currency, and how our stores' policy is a violation of his civil, constitutional, and god-given rights! He then threatens to have me arrested by the police (and Officer Green, waiting for his 50% off pizza, can barely control his laughter at this point), and tells me that if I refuse to accept the $50, he will contact a lawyer and sue me.
So I look him straight in the eye, and I said, "Ok, sir, tell ya' what I'll do. I'll save you the trouble - I'll turn myself into the police for refusing to accept your money." And I look up at Officer Green, who is in the store two or three nights a week, and I said, "Officer, please arrest me for violating this man's right to have his $50 accepted."
And Officer Green just bursts out laughing, as are most of the other customers in the carryout by this point.
The old man gets fuming pissed, and shouts, "Compared to you, Osama Bin Laden is George Washington!" and storms out.
Oh, bless his heart, the cute old stupid ignorant codger
posted
Ah, the sweet smell of job specific jargon.
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Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Obviously, the "slap" table is for punishing pizza drivers who didn't fill their quota, the "cut" table is for treating pizza bakers who ate several pizzas themselves instead of giving them to customers (eye for an eye), and the driver stand is where the delivery boys get their blowjobs so they can keep up with the job at full energy, like Schwarzenegger got in the dressing room of the "Mr Universe" contest (and recently, in the tour bus of his governor campaign). Female drivers instead get a big chocolate sundae, with about the same results.
Remember, there is no room for clich�s or preconceived notions in this post.
Registered: Aug 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
Dude, you should have had HIM arrested for disturbing public order or something. B)
Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
Somehow, having a cop there laughing at him seems punishment enough.
-------------------- “Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov Star Trek Minutiae | Memory Alpha
Registered: Nov 2000
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Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
It's standard policy to not accept bills above a certain denomination. Happens here too.
This guy should get himself a bank card. Surely you accept payment by DEBIT, right?
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:"...running between the slap table, the cut table, and the driver stand, when an insider on till..."
Slap Table = Where pizza dough is stretched out and slapped to form a pizza skin. You take the pizza skin, apply pizza sauce, and cheese, cook it, and you have a pizza.
Cut Table = Where you take the pizzas out of the oven, put them in boxes, and "cut" them with a slicer.
Driver Stand = Where the hot bags, maps, and routing computer is located.
Till = Come on, do I need to explain this ... ?
Insider = Term for a non-management employee who works "inside" the shop.
Driver = Term for a non-management employee who delivers pizzas.
posted
I know all of the other terms as I worked in a pizza place before but I have never heard of Insider used in any of the food joints I have worked. Different strokes for different folks.
-------------------- The Poster formally known as Tec.
Registered: May 1999
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posted
I thought that Americans said "cash register" rather than "till". You live and learn...
And when I worked in Pizza Hut, we didn't use any of those fancy terms. Apart from "till". And "driver".
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Pizza makes children fat, so I hope you're all happy.
Also Officer Green hanging around a pizza place and named Officer Green have given me an idea for a Hollywood Sitcom! It is called Pop's Pizza: Doughn't Ask Me, I'm Just the Slapper. Starring John Ritter's ghost and the mom from Hangin' With Mr. Cooper: Rudy and the lesser Gooding take Oakland.
Registered: Oct 1999
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