The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35
I've just spent an hour on the phone to Hewlett Packard's European call centre in Amsterdam. This has been a regualr feature of late, as I try to persuade them that I actually know when a computer has failed beyond anything I can do to it.
For a start, these people won't raise cases unless you agree to do a lot of tests over the phone - yeah, right - or tell them exactly what the problem is. I had one of their engineers here today (on another matter) and he told me exactly what to tell them. Would they accept the word of their own engineer? Like f*** they would. . .
Then there's the language barrier. These people's command of English is about on a par with my command of Etruscan (for non-classicists, that's a dead language, no-one knows it anymore). I have to repeat everything several times.
Then there's serial numbers. All HP ones begin with 'FR' so I ignore them. They refuse to accept it - after I've again repeated it several times - because it's invalid without the letters 'FR' in front!
It's at this point I announce to my office - and the guy on the phone - that we're bombing the wrong end of Europe. Everyone at work has been in fits over my facial expressions during this conversation, that and the primal scream I let loose with when I finally got to hung up.
And there's still no guarantee I'll get an engineer to come!
The problem Lee is that these bas***ds are just like insurance companies. They'll take your money, but when it comes to giving it back or providing the service that they originally promised, they'll make all sorts of f***ing excuses.
They'll come round in the end, but you probably have to keep badgering them.
------------------ WARNING! This heamerroid cream should NOT be taken orally.
Hm, don't expect office clerks to know English (ironically, they're the ones that should know it..hm) Luckily for you, I am very good at English (wide grin)
I'm about, um.. 60 kilometers from Amsterdam..or was it 80? It can't be more than 100 or I'll be in Germany though. So if you get out a nuke with a 50 kilometer blast radius that'd do nicely. Be sure to take the queen with you.
Orion S: I live in THE NETHERLANDS! NOT IN HOLLAND! :]