posted
I'm in student halls this year. The hall itself is nice and would be a delightful place to live except for one small thing; the other students.
They are, with no exceptions, total w##kers.
I shall illustrate: Aside from the general low IQ and baffling accumulation of all of America's ex-patriated lunatics, this lot are less well-behaved than 4-year olds.
First, the guy above me. Total moron. Perpetual scowl and low forehead. Plays loud music, projects his own voice through hi-fi making "tapes of radio shows" which are for no transmitter save his own equipment. Plays indoor football, making it sound like a herd of elephants is dancing Swan lake on my roof.
The girls on my floor. Aside from their infantile "Hi-yahhhhh" at every chance encounter, they are up to something seedy. Tonight I go to use the bathroom, I hear noises from one of the cubicles housing a bath/shower unit. No, not someone having a shower. A bath then? Talking to themselves perchance? Nay, a man's low voice... A woman's voice... A splash of water... Another woman's voice... Laughter...
I should also add that more traditional one-on-one bonking goes on every night. The other halves wandering the corridors in the wee hours looking for their condoms.
On a less-disgusting but more pertinent note, they veto use of communal TVs to deny me access to Trek in all its forms. Neighbours gets preference. As does Ricki Lake and more recently an American Football game.
For their continuing and bafflingdesecration of Monty's poor innocent and undeserving mind, I sentence all these wretches to be taken from this place and hanged by the neck until they be Dead.
------------------ "You see, unlike you I understand history! My name will blaze across the stars long after your petty treachery has been for-gotten !!!"
[This message has been edited by Montgomery (edited December 02, 1999).]
posted
I was with you all the way up to the bit about the shower. Let me see if I can figure this out. You live in a building with an apparent overflow of sexually curious young women. I'm trusting there is some hidden negative here that evades my simple mind.
------------------ "It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns, and then he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?." -- Futurama
posted
Monty, would you like to trade places with me?
Here's some advice: GIT SOME!
These girls are, to be nice like Simon, sexually curious. Or to sound like me, horny as heck! Take advantage. You're only young once. And remember, men hit their sexual peak at 18. Enjoy it while you can.
------------------ "Look on the bright side is suicide" - Kurt Cobain Milk It, Nirvana
posted
Monty: Major rant? Are you certain it isn't a Captain or Lieutenant rant? Of course, considering only your troglodytish upstairs neighbor I have but two words: Justifiable Homicide.
DT: "Men hit their sexual peak at 18"??? My decline has been delightfully slow, thank GOD! Alas, however, for the missed opportunities.
------------------ "There are some upon this earth of yours, who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us." -- The Ghost of Christmas Present (A Christmas Carol -- Charles Dickens) http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited December 03, 1999).]
The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35
posted
Damnation. The one thing I DIDN'T get to do at university. You've completely ruined my mood now. . . B(
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35
posted
*still sulking* One girl in the communal bathrooms, yes. I've always been very proud of such occasions. But two?! I now feel like I've wasted my life.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Unlike monty my stay in the halls is not to bad. We just have a couple of really loud football players and the next door neighbor always slams his door. That is about it though.
------------------ Death before Dishonor! However Dishonor has quite a disputed defintion.
posted
You misunderstand my predicament. My being in my prime only compounds my sense of frustration because the girls in question have brains the size of peas and even were I to be such a cad as to take advantage of this, they have made plain that they consider me equivalent to the cockroaches that crawl on the kitchen floor.
Yep, it all hinges on the fundamental truism: Everyone is getting laid except me.
------------------ "You see, unlike you I understand history! My name will blaze across the stars long after your petty treachery has been for-gotten !!!"
posted
Were University only for getting laid, I might sympathize a bit more. There are plenty of other things to enjoy about the experience rather than lament that fact that the pea brain are f'ing like minks and most likley not learning a damned thing.
I saw plenty of folks like that when I was in college. Those for whom the entire University experience is sex, beer, and more sex and beer. For whom there was never a thought of controling hormones and getting something else out of the time in University. Well, I guess that is all about priorities isn't it. Sure that can ba a part of your experience, but those don't mix very well with the academic experience.
Monty, if you lament the fact that they are moronic pea brains, then why do you want to be like them???
Take your University experience and gain what you can.
------------------ If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself! ~C. Montgomery Burns
posted
I don't want to be like them. But after four years of my first degree, tolerating people being stupid and having a whale of a time while i didn't, I'd hoped for sometyhing a little more mature for my pains.
I'm just in from a night out that went disastrously. Some friends from class went into town for a drink. I went too, only to discover they'd brought their other halves with them for the ride. As a result I spent three hours awkwardly sitting next to progressively heavier petters, all the time feeling the universe was rubbing my face in the dirt.
I now return to my hall to discover someone has decided to have a fireworks party consisting soley of big bangers..... at 12:00am.
Grr
------------------ "You see, unlike you I understand history! My name will blaze across the stars long after your petty treachery has been for-gotten !!!"
[This message has been edited by Montgomery (edited December 04, 1999).]
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