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Author Topic: God Spam
Free ThoughtCrime America
Senior Member
Member # 480

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I really, really, really hate getting Christian (Look at this! Another Proof of God!) stories in my e-mail. These things are even worse than porn spam, and they are, without at doubt, the thing I hate the most about the internet.

They are so poorly thought out, and are so hideously biased against us Infidels who don't believe that it makes me sick. They tell stories that you KNOW never happened, and people BELIEVE this SHIT.

I don't get Atheist Spam! Why?

This is not a thread about whether or not there is a God. This is a thread about God Spam.

Here, Read This, the barest sampling of what I get on a typical day, and tell me if you don't get pissed off, just a little.

quote:

"Subject: FW: Choose #1 or #2
-

> This one should keep us all thinking.

I chose #2, now you pick one.

This is a true story of something that
happened just a few years ago at USC.
There was a professor of philosophy
there who was a deeply committed atheist.
His primary goal for one required class
was to spend the entire semester
attempting to prove that God couldn't
exist.

His students were always afraid to
argue with him because of his
impeccable logic.
For twenty years, he had taught this
class and no one had ever had the
courage to go against him.

Sure, some had argued in class at
times, but no one had ever really gone
against him because of his reputation.
At the end of every semester on the last
day, he would say to his class of 300
students,

"If there is anyone here who still
believes in Jesus, stand up!"

In twenty years, no one had ever stood
up. They knew what he was going to do
next. He would say,

"Because anyone who believes in God is a
fool. If God existed, he could stop this
piece of chalk from hitting the ground
and breaking. Such a simple task to prove
that He is God, and yet He can't do it."

And every year, he would drop the chalk
onto the tile floor of the classroom and it
would shatter into a hundred pieces.

All of the students would do nothing
but stop and stare.
Most of the students thought that God
couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of
Christians had slipped through, but
for 20 years, they had been too afraid to
stand up.

Well, a few years ago there was a
freshman who happened to enroll.
He was a Christian, and had heard
the stories about his professor.

He was required to take the class for his
major, and he was afraid. But for three
months that semester, he prayed every
morning that he would have the courage
to stand up no matter what the professor
said, or what the class thought.

Nothing they said could ever shatter
his faith...he hoped.

Finally, the day came. The professor
said, "If there is anyone here who still
believes in God, stand up!" The
professor and the class of 300 people
looked at him, shocked, as he stood up
at the back of the classroom.

The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!!
If God existed, he would keep this
piece of chalk from breaking when
it hit the ground!"

He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as
he did, it slipped out of his fingers,
off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his
pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it
hit the ground, it simply rolled away
unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped
as he stared at the chalk. He looked
up at the young man, and then ran out
of the lecture hall.

The young man who had stood, proceeded
to walk to the front of the room and shared
his faith in Jesus for the next half hour.

300 students stayed and listened as he
told of God's love for them and of His
power through Jesus.

You have 2 choices

1. Delete this and never look at it again.

2. Pass this along to your Christian

and non-Christian friends, giving them

encouragement we all need every day.

When you choose option 2, you have
chosen to STAND UP"

FUCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! I hate hate hate hate hate this crap!

[ February 06, 2002, 14:21: Message edited by: thoughtcriminal84 ]

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Da_bang80
A few sectors short of an Empire
Member # 528

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I never got any of that bullshit. I don't even get porn spam. This stuff is real stupid. Why can't they accept the fact that people make thier own decisions, and others have no right to interfere, unless it's for the persons safety, or well being.

--------------------
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I cannot accept.
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of all the people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

Remember when your parents told you it's dangerous to play in traffic?

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MaGiC
tutis per veneficus
Member # 59

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Thoughtcriminal, I hate to point out that you did number 2....

--------------------
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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Spam is spam is spam, regardless of content. Kill it all.

--------------------
"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709

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--------------------
"Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"

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First of Two
Better than you
Member # 16

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Send it along... with a pre-message.

"This is Christian Idiot Spam. The following is an Urban Legend. It never actually happened. Still, some idiots out there are continuing to pass it around, hoping to gain support for their sky-god worshipping practices. If someone passes you this email without this pre-message, send them back a scathing response about lying in the name of God, and if you know them personally, punch them in the snoot. God will thank you for it."

--------------------
"The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword

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Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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What amazes me is how one teacher can keep students dumbstruck and awe-inspired by dropping a piece of chalk on the floor.
Once a year.
For twenty years.
That sort of crowd-control would've given Hitler something the cat couldn't scratch.

Of course, they neglected to tell you that the school was next to a weather station on the south pole and the students were little penguins.

No wait, even penguins know better. [Smile]

Seriously, this is the kind of warped "David&Goliath"-concepts the taliban use.

--------------------
"I'm nigh-invulnerable when I'm blasting!"
Mel Gibson, X-Men

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Antagonist
Active Member
Member # 484

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Yes, spam is annoying. Yes, spam is most often useless. Yes, spam is probably the most insufferable garbage of the internet, rivaling in frustration with pop-up ad windows.

While transmitted via spam, this story has some worth to it. Unfortunately that worth has been lost because of the bad etiquette that it has been passed along.

I actually would like to hear a professor try to logically deduce that there is no god. It would be a most futile attempt, however, as faith is defined as a belief and trust in that which has no basis in logic. [Razz]

[ February 07, 2002, 15:54: Message edited by: Antagonist ]

--------------------
Move .sig!!

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Free ThoughtCrime America
Senior Member
Member # 480

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quote:

Thoughtcriminal, I hate to point out that you did number 2....

Yeah, I know I did. I realized that while I was posting it, but I couldn't resist.

See, I even went to the trouble of writing up a detailed refutation of the Professor's "Chalk Gambit" just to show how idiotic this story is, and that anybody could have stepped up at anytime and told him he was full of shit on philosophical grounds...Meaning that these nitwits could have stopped this Abominable activity YEARS ago, with a simple sentence: "Maybe God doesn't feel like stopping the chalk, Professor!" which is as logical as assuming that the Supreme Being of the universe would come perform tricks for a atheist professor...

But after sending it to about thirty or so of the sixty previous recipients, I gave up. I doubt any of them would even realize that the message I was sending was highly sarcastic...I didn't want to be the source of ANOTHER god spam spree.

The part of the story that bothers the most is how after the chalk doesn't break, the professor GETS UP AND RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM.

What? Not only is the Atheist (in context of this fairy tale) Wrong, he's obviously a fucking pussy too.

I'll say nothing about the Christian getting up and regaling the class room of three hundred with tales of Jesus for the last half of the class.

Christian spam is full of this tactic...the unbeliever is always an idiot, usually morally suspect, and when confronted with whatever abysmal "evidence" of Jesus the story reveals, he or she is usually a cowardly idea convert.

Sorry, gentleman. I know this is stupid to even talk about. But to me, it's like getting a daily e-mail telling ME i'm an idjit for not believing as THEY do. It pisses me off.

I really want to do something in return for this, like start up an atheist chain letter...but I'm not evil, so I won't.

I'll join CSICOP instead. You get a neat coffee mug when you do...

[ February 07, 2002, 16:16: Message edited by: thoughtcriminal84 ]

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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709

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huh huh.. he said you did number two

--------------------
"Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"

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First of Two
Better than you
Member # 16

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quote:
I actually would like to hear a professor try to logically deduce that there is no god.
No God, hard. Perhaps impossible, given the Deist version of God.

But doing so with a particular VERSION of God, that's easy.

Step 1: Define the attributes of that God.
Step 2: Determine whether existence as we know it is compatible with the attributes described in Step 1.

--------------------
"The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword

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Lee
I'm a spy now. Spies are cool.
Member # 393

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I find it interesting that you have this one alleged divine intervention which is meant ot make us all believers, yet there are countless other events which could have done with this self-same divine intervention, and we're just supposed to believe nonetheless.

And also, how come so few Christians attended this class? I believe Christianity is the dominant religion in the US, yet somehow noen of them went to this college, or at least this class. This is serious, people, we must know - WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHRISTIANS GONE?! Why don't they want to go there? Do they know something we don't?

--------------------
Never mind the Phlox - Here's the Phase Pistols

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First of Two
Better than you
Member # 16

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quote:
WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHRISTIANS GONE?!
And why won't they stay there?! [Smile]

--------------------
"The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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*jumps up and down, waving arms*

Hi, there. I'm Omega. I don't think we've met. [Wink]

As for why we won't stay somewhere else: we like you too much. [Smile]

--------------------
"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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"...WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHRISTIANS GONE?!"

Boiled in their own communion wine and buried w/ a crucifix through their heart, hopefully.

And for those who don't get it, it's a paraphrase of an unrelated quote. I didn't simply make it up.

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