posted
But who has the answers? Right or wrong, they can still be funny.
1. Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 2. Caesar's...health conscious drinking, or just another booze fad made by the Canadians? 3. What flavor would Jubilicious be? 4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan(if any)? 5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too? 6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank? 7. Got Milk? 8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______" 9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar? 10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today?
Bonus Question: What color is Jubes underwear?
------------------ "I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."
posted
1.Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I dunno how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if he could chuck before he upchucked.
2. Caesar's...health conscious drinking, or just another booze fad made by the Canadians?
Bleh! What kind of people drink salad dresssing????
3. What flavor would Jubilicious be?
Erm...ask Charles. He�d probably know. *smirks*
4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan(if any)?
Bah! Of COURSE there�s a difference! We Star Wars fans have much better taste. And TRUE fans don�t care so much that the special effects might have been better than the plot. What matters to us is the concept conveyed by the film. Much more sophisticated taste than any Trek stuff.
...plus, we have JarJar on our side. at bare minimum we can drive all you trekkies insane. Hehe.
5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too?
Um. No. I have no desire to be composed of the leftover particles of an animal. :P bleh.
6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank?
Might it have something to do with the extremely long canines, the reddish discolored splotches on your shirt, and the fact that you always go after dusk?
7. Got Milk?
Milk? You seek Milk? Take you to it I can, mm, yes....A Jedi�s strength FLOWS from the milk. You must drink the milk�all around you. When 900 years old YOU reach, to drink more milk you will need. Mind what you have learned�save you it can when thirsty you are, and a cow you meet.
8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______"
�I�d buy me a coke....� *L* hey...i can improvise, right? With a million dollars, I could do whatever the heck I wanted to with it. And I just might, too. You watch yourself. *L*
9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
*grins* wanna find out, baby? Hehehe...
10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today?
ACK!!!! You mean Bill Gates owns the rights to all the toilets in the world too???? *crosses legs and hops around, looking for a semi-private tree*
Bonus Question: What color is Jubes underwear?
I believe the answer to be �Juberillo�. But then...I�ve been wrong. ...Charles? Care to enlighten us on this one as well?
------------------ "Fear attracts the fearful" ([[[[[[*]}�������������������������
Charles Capps
We appreciate your concern. It is noted and stupid.
Member # 9
posted
I lack creativity this morning (pardon the lame answers), but I just HAD to answer a few of these.
1. Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
> He'd chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Jeez, is it that hard to figure out?
2. Caesar's...health conscious drinking, or just another booze fad made by the Canadians?
> Eh, no comment.
3. What flavor would Jubilicious be?
> **HUGE GRIN** I've experienced Jubilicious first person, lemme tell you, it's like nothing else on the planet. Blows ya away. A truely er... breathtaking experience.
4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan(if any)?
> Simple - Warsies are worse. 'Nuff said. *puts on his Spock ears*
5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too?
> I prefer being bologna.
6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank?
> Why are you asking us?
7. Got Milk?
> ATM, yes, acutally. *points at the glass*
8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______"
> If I had a million dollars, I'd **CENSORED** **CENSORED**, then **CENSORED**... After buying a better car, of course.
9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
> Whatever it wants.
10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today?
> To a place that didn't have those funky pastel colors all over the place!
Bonus Question: What color is Jubes underwear?
> **GRIN** Purple.
------------------ Charles Capps Chief Administrator, the solareclipse network "I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do."
Saiyanman Benjita
...in 2012. This time, why not the worst?
Member # 122
posted
1. Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? About fifty times his weight, like an Ant 2. Caesar's...health conscious drinking, or just another booze fad made by the Canadians? Latter, Canadians have been known to destroy the American way, and this is no different. 3. What flavor would Jubilicious be? Chocolate fudge with Pixy Stix sprinkled on top. 4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan(if any)? A trekkie is a miled form (unlike the more PC-Trekker.) 5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too? That is what I'd really like to be, unless it's bologna, cause I hate bologna 6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank? No ATM card 7. Got Milk? NO, the baby drank it all. 8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______" I'd probably blow it to try to win the 190 million dollar Powerball Jackpot 9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar? Anything short of Homosexual acts. 10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today? Microsoft is just an updated Apple works, so we wouldn't be missing anything.
Bonus Question: What color is Jubes underwear?
Purple, always purple, that is if she is even bothering to wear any.
------------------ All we are is dust in the wind, dude.... Dust, Wind, DUDE!!!
4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan(if any)?
One will be living and one will be dead after a few hours locked in a room together.
5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too?
No. I wish you were an Oscar Meyer Weiner... Here, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog... Can you say barbecue?
6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank?
Well, there are many... other types of banks to try as well, but I think that Bolian from the recent CapCom has some blood he'd just love to inject you with, Jeff. Yeah, the tubules go right there...
7. Got Milk?
All over my monitor now that you've asked all these silly questions! How dare you make me laugh while I'm having lunch!
8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______"
*state-the-obvious mode* "If I had a million dollars, I would be envied, but if I was like the average person, I would still want more."
9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Turn on a stove?
10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today?
With the gerbil-powered Mac OSs, of course.
Bonus Question: What color is Jubes's underwear?
Now here's at least something innuendo-like...
Bonus answer: Uhmmm... Why do you want to know?
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
posted
Ok, a Caesar is an alcoholic drink, made up of vodka, clamato juice, a little worchestershire sauce, and tabasco sauce... Its all them Canadians ask me for when I'm working at the bar at work...
------------------ "I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."
posted
I got up one morning, really late for school so I threw on my lacy, purple underwear and some clothes and ran to grab my books and go. Before I got out the door, however, my roomate woke up groaning from having way too many of those disgusting health concious Ceaser's at the bar. So I threw some coffee and aspirin at her, ran out the door and to class. When I got there, as a penalty for being late the professor asked me where we would go today if it weren't for Microsoft. I told her We'd all be trying to sue Steve Jobs for his awful computer construction, either that or be going crazy from having to use only one button instead of two or three on our mouses. The teacher laughed at that and then handed me the current graphics assignment: A re-design of the Oscar Meyer Logo. While studying it over I wondered why anyone on earth would want to be an Oscar Meyer Wiener, and came to the conclusion that if I was one, It would be awesome since everyone would think I tasted good. After two hours of designing, I finally got to go to lunch with my friends. Dolores brought up the current debate of how much wood a wood chuck could chuck, and I chimed in with is it an African, or European woodchuck?, and we started quoting Monty Python in the middle of the cafeteria. After we were done using fake british accents and embarrasing eachother, Dorothea asked us what we'd do if we had a million dollars. I told her that If I had a million dollars, I'd pay off all my credit card bills and debts, move to California, and then deposit the rest of the money after buying one of those linen shirts i've been wanting for years. Then we had to run off to class again. Later on that night I had a meeting with my friend Emily who is The biggest Star Wars freak ever. We got in a fight over which show was better and she replied that Lightsabers don't have a stun setting. Taking that into consideration, and realizing that I live by the Prime Directive as well, I came to the conclusion that I was just a tad weirder than her. After the meeting I went back to my room to get a glass of milk and my roomate told me that we don't have milk because we're lactose intolerant, and shouldn't be drinking it anyway. I whined about loving milk and ice cream and then told her I'd do just about anything for a really good Klondike bar right now. She just shook her head at me and then started complaining because she couldn't get a withdrawal at her blood bank because She didn't have her Vampire's license yet, and even then they don't let you unless you have 3 forms of ID, and at least one of them are from the first list. I decided to appease her by taking her out to get a drink. We both paired off with different men that night, and I ended up going back to his place. At the end of the night he told me I was Jubilicous and tasted just like a screaming orgasm. Man...... WHAT A DAY!
------------------ I'm you're only friend, I'm not your only friend, but I'm a little glowing friend, but really i'm not actually a friend, but I am.
[This message has been edited by Jubilee McGann (edited July 20, 1999).]
posted
If you want a two-button mouse on a Mac, you can get one. But you really don't need one.
------------------ http://frankg.dgne.com/ "If you feel that there is some intelligent reason why the immortality and happiness of 600 people should outweigh doubled life-spans and freedom from disease for billions, feel free to let me know. Surely, if they were one-tenth as moral and caring as they claimed to be, they would have shared their incredible discovery." - Mike Wong
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
1) I'm not sure. But ask Chuc.... erm..... Charles. He is the leader of the woodchucks who do wood chucking.
2) Well, Caesars are usually made with Clam Cocktail, usually Mott's Cocktail, which I believe is a Canadian Drink. So there. Other than that, I drink the Non-Alcoholic-Version of the Caesar, so it ain't booze to me.
3) Charles, can I try some? *runs like hell*
4) Actually, Star Wars is more of the Dark Side of Star Trek. Which is why there is more violence, fighting, and killing in the former than the latter.
5) *looks down* Nope.
6) Because a complete withdrawal can kill you. Literally.
7) Yes, it sits in my fridge, and has expired after July 13. Why is it still there? And WHY does my mom drink it? *prepares to be sick*
8) *Begin Canadian mode* If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile) If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.
If I Had $1000000 I'd build a tree fort in our yard. If I Had $1000000 You could help, it wouldn't be that hard. If I Had $1000000 Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there. [Wouldn't that be fabulous]
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones) If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love
If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to walk to the store If I Had $1000000 We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner. [But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchup with it. That's right, Dijon Ketchup. Mmmm.]
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel) If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000) I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?) If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000 If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000 I'd be rich.
*End Canadian Mode*
9) Just walk to the convenience store up my street, dump a toonie, and get my Klondike bar. That's it. (Unless you don't know what a toonie is)
10) Then I'd be the richest man in the world, worth over a trillion dollars, and the person who controls the Information Superhighway as well as the future. Too bad Bill Gates was born 15-20 years before I was.
Bonus) Don't Go there. CC will smite you with his trusty ICBM. (I did have an answer, but I think it would be too cruel)
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
posted
You BETTER not have an answer to that Tahna....
And btw, if you want a taste, you can ask ME, not CC.. He doesnt' OWN me, you know.....
and just in case you didn't understand that your answers were inappropriate..... *SMITES HIM* They were. Get it now?
Good.
------------------ "Angels, answer me, are you near if rain should fall? Am I to believe you will rise to calm the storm? For so great a treasure words will never do. Surely, if this is, promises are mine to give you. mine to give........ " ~ Enya
posted
1. Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
None, if they had a jar of Planters� peanuts...
2. Caesar's...health conscious drinking, or just another booze fad made by the Canadians?
Well, the only form of health-consious alcahol consumption is none at all, and I personally like Canada. I mean, who doesn't like "due South"? I guess I'd have to say neither.
3. What flavor would Jubilicious be?
Can't very well improve on Charles' answer...
4. What's the difference between a trekkie and an insane, obsessed/compulsive Star Wars fan (if any)?
Trekkies are smarter. Why else would a Star Wars fan camp out outside a theatre for six weeks, whereas a Trekkie would only camp out for two?
5. Do you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener too?
No, I prefer to have a slightly lower fecal matter count.
6. Why can't I get a withdrawal at a blood bank?
No deposit, no return?
7. Got Milk?
...
*has choked to death by stuffing his mouth full of a peanut butter sandwich, realizing, only too late, that he had no milk to wash it down with*
arah burh...
8. Finish: "If I had a million dollars, ______"
I'd eat it.
*wonders if anyone will recognize the reference to a "Hundred Grand" candy bar commercial*
9. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Why would I want to own a bar in a river valley in the Yukon? I mean, the population density up there is about .2 people per square kilometer, so I wouldn't do much business, and all I'd end up serving would be hot cocoa. Quite a commute from S.E. USA, too. And I'd have to make the last 200 miles of it by dogsled. At least flooding wouldn't be a problem, as the Klondike is probably frozen most of the year. Or do you mean the ice-cream bar that I seem to recall seeing in the store? In that case, not much, considering how overpriced they are.
10. If it wasn't for Microsoft, where would we go today?
Gerbil-powered! Ha! Easier to use, and practically impossible to screw up unless you're trying. In the three years I've had it on my IBM, Win '95 has died at least twice, costing $30 in long-distance phone charges to fix, and now refuses to recognize my mouse (and, yes, it is confirmed to be Windows, not the mouse). My Mac has had no problems whatsoever in about the same time. And why are you complaining about not having a two or three button mouse? The middle button doesn't do anything, and the second button is just a superfluous addition to compensate for bad design in the OS itself. So, to answer the question, a higher plane of existance.
posted
Well, after getting over the stomach flu, I have decided to judge these....Though I was hoping for more responses, I think I will judge each question at a time.
1. I like TSN's answer best...hehehe 2. Saiyanman- We gotta watch out for the Canadian Invasion! BTW, do you watch Dragon Ball Z? 3. But of course, Charles is the only one with the right answer, heheheh. 4. Omega wins this one... 5. Omega again- which is why I don't eat Oscar Mayer Weiners! 6. Weyoun wins this one, hehehe. 7. Omega again! Gotta admit, that was a funny commercial. 8. Tahna gets this one, at least for his effort. 9. *would love to know what Weyoun had in mind* mmmmmm... 10. Elim and Garak joint winners- Gerbils are kinda messy though...but cheap!
Bonus Question: It was a trick question, although she was wearing purple at the time, the answer was 'none at all'.
Honorable Mention goes to Jubes, for her very creative story...I liked it.
That's it for me, I gotta go take some meds for this flu....See ya.
------------------ "I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."
at bare minimum we can drive all you trekkies insane. Hehe.
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