The Scenario

The Enterprise (TOS) has encountered the abandoned Federation ship, the U.S.S. Voyager (Don't ask me how that got there). During an away team investigation of the ship, they have discovered an interesting program, and have taken it back to their ship.

It appears that the program is none other than Voyager's Holodoc. And Captain Kirk is so far impressed by the Holodoc's capabilities to the point that....

McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a retiree.

Kirk: Well, you may as well be, because as far as I know, he's very likely to get your job.

McCoy: Over my Dead body. *Motions to HoloDoc* Let's take this to the airlock.

Holodoc: But this is not part of my programming. I'm a Doctor, not a Street Fighter.

So who gets to keep his job? McCoy, or Voyager's Holodoc?

Again, you do not have to provide a thorough analysis, you can basically use anything from making up a scenario, to suggesting prior conflicts, an analysis of the actors themselves, or even poetry. Suggest ANYTHING that makes sense. Good Luck, and I hope it works this time.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Announcer: This is Medical Jeopardy! Now entering the studio are today's contestants! He's just an old country doctor from Earth: Leonard H. McCoy!

McCoy walks over to his podium.

Announcer: He's a personality subroutine from Jupiter Station: Emergency Medical Hologram Mark I!

The Doctor walks over to his podium.

Announcer: And since we need a third contestant, he's the captain of his very own starship: The Pakled Captain from "Samaritan Snare!"

Pakled Captain walks over to his podium.

Announcer: And here's the host of Medical Jeopardy, C. Everett Koop!

Koop walks to host's podium.

Koop: Welcome to the first (and probably only) episode of Medical Jeopardy! Let's go right into the Jeopardy round! The catagories are: Name That -Ectomy, Parasites, Circulatory Systems, and Potpourri! Dr. McCoy, you select first.

McCoy: I'll take "Name That -Ectomy" for $100, C!

Koop: And the answer is: "The removal of a small, funny-sounding white blood cell creating organ."

*BEEP*

Koop: Yes, Pakled Captain?

Pakled Captain: What is a thing that makes us go?

Koop: Close, but incorrect!

*BEEP*

Koop: Yes, Dr. McCoy?

McCoy: What is a spleenectomy?

Koop: That's correct!

The game continues until the end of Double Jeopardy...

Koop: And with the end of Double Jeopardy, the EMH is ahead with $7500, Dr. McCoy is second with $6700, and the Pakled Captain is trailing with -$10000. Normally, the Pakled Captain would be disqualified from Final Jeopardy, except that since the Federation doesn't use currency, money doesn't matter anyway. The catagory is "Cellular Functions," and the answer is: "Mitochondria are these..."

Jeopardy music plays while the contestants write their answers, or rather, questions.

Koop: Time's up. Let's start with the frontrunner, the EMH! What is your response?

EMH: What are the warp cores of the cell?

Koop: Oh, I'm sorry, that's not what we were looking for! How much did you wager?

EMH: $7500.

Koop: That brings you down to $0! What is your response, Dr. McCoy?

McCoy: What are organelles?

Koop: I'm sorry, that is also incorrect! What was your wager?

McCoy: $6700.

Koop: That brings you down to $0 as well! Pakled Captain, what was your response?

Pakled Captain: What are things that make us go?

Koop: That's correct! How much did you wager?

Pakled Captain: $10000.01.

Koop: That means the Pakled Captain is the winner and the new CMO of the USS Enterprise with $0.01!

EMH: What the...

McCoy: That's not fair!

Koop: Now, now... Don't be sore losers.

The winner: Pakled Captain (because I can't choose between Bones and the Doctor)!

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"Have you ever tried factoring Optimus Prime?"

Kirk: If we don't do something, the civilization will be destroyed...What do you suggest, Spock?

Spock: According to the Prime Directive, we must do nothing. It is their natural course, and, as Star Fleet officers, we are not to interfere.

EMH: Sounds logical. I'll have to agree with Spock.

TV Viewer: This new doctor sucks. Where's the crass and snappy answers to Spock's unemotional explanations?! *turns off tv*
*thousands of tvs turn off in the night*

Star Trek goes down the drain after 2.5 seasons, no one cares after its gone.
Everyone loses.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

I showed my friend this thread. He saw it and immediately said: "At least McCoy doesn't say 'Your program has performed an illegal operation and will be terminated.'".