There's a sort of historical inevitability about it all, really. Better to try and fail than not try at all, apparently. And if there was ever a time for this pic, it's now. I know what's going to happen. The question is, though, will it generate enough enties not related to you-know-what to convince me that these things are still viable?
Go to it, you know what to do. Judging next Monday.
------------------ "I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."
------------------ "The only good thing about this film is the edible chocolate roaches they gave out. Mmm, mmm... Wait a minute, edible roaches don't crawl. Edible roaches don't crawl!"
posted
Martok: Before the day is out, we'll be drinking Kool-Aid on Cardassia Prime!
Ross: Kool-Aid? I thought you said we'd be drinking blood wine!
Martok: Well, I did, but someone traded my blood wine for a new deflector!
Nog: Eep!
------------------ "The only good thing about this film is the edible chocolate roaches they gave out. Mmm, mmm... Wait a minute, edible roaches don't crawl. Edible roaches don't crawl!"
posted
Nog: Watch the pretty coin of gold, and you will do as you are told... Make me absolute ruler of both the Federation and the Klingon Empire!
Ross and Martok: Yes, master...
------------------ "The only good thing about this film is the edible chocolate roaches they gave out. Mmm, mmm... Wait a minute, edible roaches don't crawl. Edible roaches don't crawl!"
posted
Nog: Would you both get off the screen! I can't see where I'm driving!
------------------ "The only good thing about this film is the edible chocolate roaches they gave out. Mmm, mmm... Wait a minute, edible roaches don't crawl. Edible roaches don't crawl!"
posted
Ross: I am sending my apprentice, Darth Maul, to you...
Nog: Now there are two Sith Lords! This is out of control!
------------------ "The only good thing about this film is the edible chocolate roaches they gave out. Mmm, mmm... Wait a minute, edible roaches don't crawl. Edible roaches don't crawl!"
NOG: Today we have Admiral Ross, and, Mr. Ross, you have a secret to share with us, don't you?
ROSS: Yes, Noggy, I do
NOG: Would you care to tell the Defiant what your secret is?
ROSS: Well, Noggy, I've been an Admiral for many years now. Before I arrived at Starbase 375, I used to work on a Klingon space station, as a liason. I met a Klingon woman there...
NOG: Was she a good looking Klingon?
ROSS: Oh, she was georgeous. You should have seen the cut she had in her uniform, man, that was some beautiful clevage! I know you would have liked her, Noggy.
NOG: I bet I would have. So, did you and this Klingon hook-up?
ROSS: Yeah, we hooked up a lot while I worked there. She was very rough, and I liked that kind of stuff...
DEFIANT CREW: Ohhhhh!!!
ROSS: Yeah, you people know what I mean. Well, I soon got transfered to Starbase 375, and ever since then, I have never found a woman quite like her. Unfortunatly, she's married.
DEFIANT CREW: OHHHHH!!! *few choice words heard from the crew as well*
ROSS: *standing* Hey, now, I was better then her husband! You, now, hey b****, shut up! I'll get my phaser rifle and blow all your a**es away!
*Odo is seen on the viewscreen holding Ross back*
DEFIANT CREW: Noggy! Noggy! Noggy!
NOG: Ok, ok, everyone calm down. So, she was cheating on her husband with you?
ROSS: That's right, Noggy
NOG: And who is the husband?
ROSS: Well, he's a general in the Klingon military, and I actually worked with him a lot during the war.
DEFIANT CREW: OHHHH!!!
ROSS: Yeah, I guess you could say we were sort of friends and whatnot
NOG: So, you cheated on your friends wife? Do you still want to hook up with her?
ROSS: Of course!
DEFIANT CREW: OHHHH!!!
NOG: Well, we have the husband, I believe is name is Martok, here with us tonight, he's backstage. *Viewscreen splits to show Ross and Martok* Are you going to tell Martok what has happened?
ROSS: Yes, Noggy
NOG: Well, let's bring out General Martok!
DEFIANT CREW: Noggy! Noggy! Noggy!
NOG: Hello General, good to have you here.
MARTOK: Hello, Noggy
NOG: I think we'll let Ross here tell you what he wants, so, go ahead Ross.
ROSS: Well, Martok, you know we've been working together a lot since the war, and, well.....I'm sorry, but I've been cheating on your wife
MARTOK: *stunned* You BASTARD! You %*##)%&#@&%)@&%)@ (something Klingon) *(%@&()#@%&*(@%!
*Martok rushes Ross, Odo and other henchman cover the stage*
*A bat'leth appears from nowhere and hits the TV camera, viewscreen shows nothing but static*
ROFL, oh, I amused myself...
------------------ "No, 3 & 6 are mandatory, so you only have to do them if you want"
Alex, fellow classmate, trying to explain an assignment (2/2/01)
posted
Announcer: And next time on "Meet The Press 237Whatever" we will have Admiral Ross and General Martok discussing historical election follies!
Nog: So, Admiral Ross, let's talk about your view on the USA Election 2000.
Ross: Well, it all came down to inferior voting machines, Republican strong-arm tactics, and dimpled chads.
Martok: You miserable pa'ToK! Dimpled chads have no honor!
------------------ Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians! Me: I have a camcorder. Nic: But no lesbians. Me: Ahhh... no. Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!
posted
Admiral Ross and General Martok, after winning the war, retire from their respective militaries and assume positions as Senior Vice Presidents at Microsoft Corporation. Bill Gates XXVII (his DNA reset to its original Ferengi form) discuss the upcoming release of Microsoft Windows LCARS 4.7.
Bill Gates: You two are my trusted associates. What shall we do about Windows LCARS 4.7, gentlemen?
Ross: The code is buggy as hell. It crashes more than the Miranda class ships I used as canon fodder!
Martok: Perhaps today is a good day to die. I say we ship it!
------------------ Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians! Me: I have a camcorder. Nic: But no lesbians. Me: Ahhh... no. Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!
posted
Nog: "And we're back. For those of you just joining us my guests are Starfleet Admiral Ross and recently confirmed Chancellor of the Klingon High Council, Martok. Now gentlemen, before the commercial break we were discussing the conflicts between Gothic and Classical styles at work in Jane Eyre. Chancellor, I believe you had some insight into the relationship between Jane's position in the Red Room and her overall progression from Gateshead to Ferndean Manor?"
Martok: "Well, Nog, as my colleague here had mentioned, traditional thinking holds that there is a connection between her "inprisonment" in the room and the rigorous gender boundaries of the day. But as I reread the text I find myself thinking more and more that Jane was in fact adhering to the ancient Klingon practice of bo'kamahi, or the subtle control through the maternal. By accepting Rochester's proposal she is not so much submitting to him, and by extension to the traditional female role in such a marraige as she is transcending that submission in a way that will leave her in true control of his House and fortunes.
Ross: "Nog, we've had this discussion before. I just don't see room for this interpretation of Bronte's work. Obviously, she was on Earth on the time, not Qo'noS."
posted
Ross: "Person number 1: If you were on a deserted planet and could have only one item, what would that be."
Martok: "A barrel of bloodwine!"
Ross (thinking): "I don't like bloodwine. Maybe person number two is a better date."
------------------ Terry: "Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, ...." Max: "And?" Terry: "I forgot." Max: "Come on, Clinton was the fun one, then came the boring one." Terry: "They're all boring."
posted
Announcer: And who will be kicked out of the Big Brother house this week? You decide! Phone 1-900-555-7890 to place your vote. Will it be shifty Billy or Marty, the jealous spoilsport? Find out next week...
Nog: There's no escaping this Reality TV crap, is there?
Sisko: Shhh... Ensign, get me a phone...
------------------ "People have the right to discriminate based on religion." "There is no "seperation of church and state" in the Constitution" -Omega, Jan 26 and 30, respectively
[This message has been edited by The_Tom (edited February 20, 2001).]
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