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Officer: My God, Captain! It's William Shatner's Hairpiece!
Captain: Evasive Maneuvres!
------------------ "Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond
[This message has been edited by Jeff Raven (edited March 17, 2001).]
posted
Helmsman: Sir, I'm picking up a Federation starship, late 24th Century.
Captain: Try to identify the ship and...
Helmsman: It's being identified as USS Voyager, NCC-74656!!!
Captain: If that ship has entered in here, we must destroy it or our series continuity will be destroyed. Red Alert!! Shields up and arm the tri-cobalt torpedoes in all 15 torp launchers.
Helmsman: But we don't have 15 launchers...
Captain: Dear god...it has begun...
------------------ "Oh for fuck's sake, stop your moaning, If you fancy a threesome at this time of night, you can't get start getting choosey about which particular three! -Queer As Folk, UK
[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited March 18, 2001).]
posted
guy: "Wow, Captain, you were right... These new vibrating chairs are sweet!"
------------------ "...I know this board in secret, intimate ways which are beyond your comprehension.... Let's just say that people should *not* be telling me what to do; it should always be the other way around." -"Red Quacker", conspiracy theorist and contemporary lunatic
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Guy sitting down: Watch this, dude. Imo get the power-up AND WIN THE GAME!!
Guy standing up: Sweet.
------------------ At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.
"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"
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Officer: Garish colors...push-buttons...Mini-skirts? Is *that* our future??
Captain: Yep.
------------------ "Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond
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To use the ever-ready source of comedic excellence:
Operator: Main Screen Turn On.
Captain: It's You!
------------------ "Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."
-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.
------------------ Terry: "Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, ...." Max: "And?" Terry: "I forgot." Max: "Come on, Clinton was the fun one, then came the boring one." Terry: "They're all boring."
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