Oh, OK, lots of words. Just not about me restarting this God-forsaken mess.
You know the rules. Don't post more than one word unless it's a proper name or something. Try to keep the profanity down to a minimum. No consecutive posts. If you want to say something other than your word, put it in italics. Punctuation can be changed by the next person to post, so don't get too attached. Words can be edited slightly to make sense in context. And for the love of Pete, make your words make sense!
[ February 24, 2002, 18:49: Message edited by: Omega ]
Registered: Mar 1999
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I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
Chapter I: Escape from Stupidity There once was sex. Everyone liked it. Then Jeff Kardde, God, Roma Downey, and Po traveled backwards in formation towards Pittsburgh. First of Two ejaculated when Simon beat himself with a plastic, battery-powered toothbrush. Suddenly, extra-terrestrials exploded. No longer organs, gonads, and breasts (as a sexual component) lacking, the flight overseas was infinitesimally delayed by monks. Indefatigable Horatio Hornblower dropped his cat sexually on Captain Kirk's toupée-fencing prostitute. Yeoman Rand received a vibrator for Sulu but not before he used lubricant. Po slammed his head against First of Two because he enjoyed kinky spelunking. Especially during Star Trek: Insurrection, Late Night Confessions and The 700 Club, but he doesn't masturbate with Tarkalean lubricants. That's Simon's nude potato toy. It slipped off his large ass. Meanwhile, Brannon Braga and Rick Berman vigorously masturbated, looking gay, like Trent Lott-hating Terellian's penises. Pitsburgh's sexiness was bleak, so to improve orgasms, the Steelers banged their cheerleaders mightily. Achieving sexuality hitherto unimaginable, Siegfried proudly prematurely outed Travis Mayweather. Omega kicked himself in desperation because he wanted multitronic tele-dildonics. So, Liz decided to ease Omega's pain and lust by erasing her offering of kinky electronic technology. Instead, she offered to placate him by replacing his electronic fantasies with The Real Thing™. However, Liz exploded. Distraught, Omega flung deer at George W. Bush. "Why did she explode? Why!?" "Because it's logical." Bush nuked Texas, played strip-poker, and boinked, before his secretary Susan Ivanova castrated him. "Ducks fly. Eagles fly. Emus taste good. Charles Capps doesn't taste like fried dog anymore," concluded Miss Cleo, who liked eating raw dog meat. The doodookaka on Rush Limbaugh's shoehorn smells fruity. Retroactively, Vogon Poet intercepted email from Jesus H. Christ stating "You are fucked." Then Eric Chow stripped Omega's skin so he screamed with pleasure. Meanwhile, the USS Baltimore had deer blood for breakfast. MIB stinks. In Atlantis rests Excalibur. The Scottish militia burned methane-smelling copies of Dianetics. Woo-hoo! L. Ron Hubbard angrily searched for page 22 in drag. Unsuccessful, L. Ron Hubbard masturbated to "The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald". Chelsea Clinton said Rush Limbaugh ravished Bugs Bunny. "Goodness," replied Rush Limbaugh. "I'm not bloated!!!!!" Then, Osama bin Laden peed on Adolf Hitler and Darth Vader. Ronald Reagan commented that hearing-impaired fruitcakes shot J.R. Ewing. Skittles are communist pinkos. God has afflicted Norfolk, Baltimore; Morgan Hill, South Carolina; and Tennessee with deerberries that Jebus farted on. Frank Gerratana died when Omega read Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot by Rush Limbaugh's detractor, his name being unspeakable. Rush Limbaugh lives sinfully aware of sex with aardvarks. Jubilee loves TSN and Siegfried, but she hates diskettes. Charles Dickens wrote pornographic propoganda for Omega. Organisms fly. Jeff Kardde rocks Omega, loves Rush Limbaugh's insightful culinary Web site, and stuff. On top of Olympus Mons, all Oompa-Loompas were horny over Tim Nix's Cooking Nude with Omega's Testicles. Meanwhile, Colin Powell clicked on an oven. *KABOOM* *KABLAMMO* "Oooooooooops, I did it again!" G.W. Bush farted on Jaing's head. "Oh, phoooey," he bitched. Roma Downey peed in pools that are owned by Fabrux. The Cookie Monster is in deep Fajitas Grande with salsa. Yum. Cats vomited dog poop they scared out of Porthos, Athos, Dogtagnan, and Aramis' mum. Now, let's crash uglies against brick-house-inhabiting Counter-Strike players AWPing deer. Lee stripped Kate's catskin catsuit off and put his Legos™ in her earlobe. Unsatisfied, Kate straddled Lee. "You Klingon love monster!" shouted Kate, "I love sheep!" Distraught, Lee, the First One, jumped temporally into Worf, who howled. Love is a holographic snowmobile. Malnurtured Snay kicked Brannon Braga off "Hollywood Squares" so that Whoopi Goldberg would win. "I'll disagree," said First of Two while choking. The chicken smelled like Lego. Œdipus Rex picked Abraham Lincoln as his mother. Coder is irrelevant. The supernova goes brightly into oblivion. Calvin chewed beef jerky because there weren't enough salty things. Legos suck. NOT!!!!!!! However, imitations like Block'o's do blow chunks. Hewlett Packard makes blaster-induced cartridges which excrete tomato seeds into Chucky's hard drive. However, Flare Forums exploded because Charles couldn't reduce that antimatter ratio. A clockwork grapefruit will melt. Monoliths kubrickly exude dark stars. Perhaps Egon, Venkman, and Ray Charles will entertain. Incredibly, the Taliban imploded when "Green Onions" fell on local zebras. Startled, The359 exploded again. Oooops, we did her mom again! We shouldn't stop hanging around hookers that eat sausages. Obviously. Jubes isn't lesbian, momentarily, but Charles suspects The_Tom is crazy. Hari Seldon crapped on indefatigable indie-rock stars. David Hasselhoff fucks Pringles cans every night. If only they would lubricate themselves instead of T'Pol. She, however, likes it. Someone went potty before going ka-ka. The end
Chapter II: Return to Stupidity The end is coming for your thread. The end is never far from here. The Matrix crashed when Johnny Mnemonic 'boinked' Hobbes against Ted 'Theodore' Logan and Bill S. Preston, esquire, played songs on Dogstar's shitty album. "My superior libido turns me into Super-Omega-Alpha-Man," said Snay as Omega melted. Curry-type packets exploded because they were pressurized incorrectly. "Underwear is accruing interest at 4.7% of expected yield," announced Weyoun However, jock-strap emissions are expected to waft towards sub-Saharan tribes. In 2002 A.D. the Pillsbury Dough-Boy ran burned tentacles across Sunnyvale High during Thanksgiving dinner. It ate calamari like hors d'oeuvres served by Buffy-Magna. "Arses like Canadians always screw in arses that smell." Tim and Liam killed the teacher posthumously. "Yummy!" said Tim, who exploded all the while. Capps updated his electric psychedelics hare named Captain Bucky O'Hare "Sweet Jesus H. Christ Almighty!" exclaimed Liz when Jubes fingered Ω. "¿Donde es Gato?" "Cat?" "¡El Scorcho, Chris Waddle, y El Buggero jumped off Omega, but then exploded!" Omega wants the thread to continue no more. But God afflicted him wtih stupidity interspersed with ignorance. Masturbation lost WW2 for Japan. However, Germany sucked. The End.
Chapter III: May God Have Mercy on Your Soul Once upon Jesus Christ's pet gerbil's birthday, Omega...
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
Registered: Mar 1999
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