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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Star Trek » General Trek » Funny (disturbing) Trek reviews (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Funny (disturbing) Trek reviews
akb1979
Just loves those smilies!
Member # 557

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Mmm...pizza rolls...I'm very hungry now. [Smile]

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If you cant convince them, confuse them.

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Aban Rune
Former ascended being
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I re-watched (or rather re-listened to) his Star Wars prequel reviews this week while I worked. I continue to be amazed at how truly bad those movies are.
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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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Worst line: "Yippee!" from pre-pubecent Anakin.
Fuck's sake, Lucas even had him kick up his heels there...

Hayden CHristensen got hosed badly in Ep.II but I think he did quite well in III (overall).
Mostly those movies are only worth watching for the amazing effects and Ewan McGregor's amazing performance- both playing the role and channeling Sir Alec nicely.

His shooting Grevious to death was hilarious.

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Aban Rune
Former ascended being
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After watching his review for Nemesis, something compelled me to watch it this weekend while I worked on some freelance stuff. Utter dreck. The E looks great, but that's about it.

My favorite thing I hadn't noticed before was the following:
Picard orders the self destruct after ramming Shinzon's ship so he can destroy it. The self destruct fails. Minutes later, while the Enterprise was still close enough for Data to space-jump between ships and within the range of a micro-transporter, Shinzon's ship *blows up*... and yet the Enterprise survives just fine.

*shudder*

Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Guardian 2000
Senior Member
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Actually, that's not necessarily true. While the fireball explosion is visible from the bridge, the Scimitar itself is not seen *from the bridge* prior to the explosion.

So, we could presume some extra distance, whether as a result of continued drifting, unseen time, or action to put some distance between the ships.

Mind you, that's still a weak excuse from a continuity sense, because the danger zone for a warp core cooking off is usually shown as pretty large (far exceeding visual range). So, having the Scimitar blow up from the phaser to the magic green junk and *not* wipe out everything within a thousand klicks seems kinda weak.

Not to mention the fact that something resembling flaming solid chunks are visible, at least in the quickie Youtube-uploaded version I watched to double-check the visibility of the ship.

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. . . ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

G2k's ST v. SW Tech Assessment

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Aban Rune
Former ascended being
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Yes, Picard did order Data to "try and put some distance" between the Enterprise and the Scimitar. An order which Data then ignores before taking the chief engineer with him so he can lower a forcefield.

So let's assume that Troi actually pretended there were other people on the ship who might appreciate their lives being saved and followed orders. Considering that Data gave her no information about what he was going to do, she would have immediately started moving the ship off, if she could. Yet when Data arrives in the forward section, both ships are still just a'sittin' there.

Come to think of it, the whole movie is chalk full of Picard and the senior staff treating the crew as though they were unimportant extras in a crappy sci-fi movie. Picard rams the Scimitar without so much as turning the com on and yelling "Everyone evacuate the forward sections NOW! You have 15 seconds to get as far aft as possible." How many people did that kill? You see several crew members caught in the crash.

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Teh PW
Self Impossed Exile (This Space for rent)
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maybe the resulting court martials were on the cutting room floor...

you know, that makes a great alternate continuity! you got the post-Nemmy-Borg-are-gone-MikeTysonPact line, the STO line, the NuTrek line and now, the former-senior staff line now working at various NON-feddy Starbase Walmarts around the galaxy...

maybe he did make the call off camera (or someone else did), which brings a thought to mind, where is everyone when your starship is at GQ? maybe the one's caught in the smash were the ship riders & airwing personnel who fuck-off & don't play the GQ~games, like in the real world? [Big Grin]

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*shrug* Ready, shoot, aim.

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Reverend
Based on a true story...
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I think I gave up trying to make sense of that movie right after they randomly picked up a "positronic signature" from halfway across the Federation and by the time they started randomly shooting at the locals I'd given up even caring...which was what? 10 mins in?

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Dark Knight Adventures & Batman Beyond:Stripped - DeviantArt Gallery
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...what we demand is a total absence of solid facts!

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Aban Rune
Former ascended being
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Yah... one minute they're in Alaska... the next minute they're close enough to the Romulan Neutral Zone to pick up a signal on the planet of the Aardvark-People... which conveniently makes them the closest ship to Romulus when Shinzon throws down.

And since when does the Federation flagship take time off to haul an officer to his (naked) wedding? Which is what they were doing when they picked up the signal.

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"Nu ani anqueatas"

Aban's Illustration
The Official Website of Shannon McRandle

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MinutiaeMan
Living the Geeky Dream
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And since when is the Neutral Zone on the way between Earth and Betazed?

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“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov
Star Trek Minutiae | Memory Alpha

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Mars Needs Women
Sexy Funmobile
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I was always bothered by the dialogue between Riker and Picard when they're mentioning the Argo, Picard's "new toy". And then the weird smiles they gave each other, ugh.
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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
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Aban's right about the crew not being shown- the thing that made First Contact so good was the danger to the crew- in Nemesis, crew casualties are never mentioned: a scene with Beverley busting ass trying to deal with all the wounded would have gone a long way to making this dramatic- maybe with a Mccoy-esque call up to the bridge to knock it the fuck off!

Plus the Enterprise not having an auxilliary bridge- or even controlling things from engineering- anything except staring out a gaping hole, pressuried by a force field that could go the nect time the ship takes a hit...

Or the bad physics of the Enterprise ramming and later pulling out of the Scimitar...and th Scimitar breaking like glass when rammed.
Worse still is the idiotic things that come out of the scimitar like a fucking transformer- stuff that would fill the interior volume of the ship suddenly ops out of arms and opens like claws.
What. the. fuck were they thinking?!?

Or the two new Romulan ships showing up to get blown to hell in seconds- if EVER there was a time where a correctly-scaled Warbird would have blown audiences away, it was here, but instead we got scrawny pointy bird designs with pointy things instead of nacelles...

Cutting Wesley's moment was shit too- they should have cut that idiotic dune-buggy chase scene.

...and of course, not showing the USS Titan.


but aside from that stuff, it's a great movie- very well thought out.

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Josh
Member
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His ROTS review came out today, finish off the prequel trilogy reviews.
http://www.redlettermedia.com/

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Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

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