Flare Sci-Fi Forums: It lifts! It separates! It calls the cops?!?

This is topic It lifts! It separates! It calls the cops?!? in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

This is too bizarre!

Go. Look. Reply (once you've recovered from laughing your posterior loose)!

http://www.wired.com/news/news/technology/story/20517.html

--Baloo

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All the wrong people have a good opinion of themselves.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Somehow, I really doubt that this is going to catch on...

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Pierce: "We're back!"
Winchester: "Yes, like a burp from a bad onion..."
-some episode of M*A*S*H that I happened to see

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

*LOL*

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"If the bathwater roars and my ear's underwater. It's a tolerant hum from the core."
--
The Tragically Hip

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

EEeerrr....... My bra is complicated ENOUGH without sticking GPS trackers and whole bunches of stuff in it.... geeze.....

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Sex is sacred. Your body is a temple. Anyone need sanctifying? ;)

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Well, well. I believe that that is the most insane thing I've seen lately. What if her husband surprises her at home? Just a thought.

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GGWK chick: I'll leave some pamphlets by the door
Cartman: Great we need some more toilet paper.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

I wonder if it beeps when she backs up?

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WHO ARE YOU

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

*ROFLMAO*

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Sex is sacred. Your body is a temple. Anyone need sanctifying? ;)

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

*ROTFLMHO* I think not. I agree with Jubes. The things we're stuck wearing already are bothersome enough without having to hit an 'override' button if it accidentally goes off. *chuckles* Ooooooookaaaaayyyy...someone had WAY too much time on their hands. *L*

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Keep one thing in mind, feministas. The brassierre was invented by a WOMAN! So if you want to be more comfortable, I suggest more of you get degrees in ergonometry and clothing design (a minor in structural engineering couldn't hurt, especially if you specialize in cantilever structures

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All the wrong people have a good opinion of themselves.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited July 03, 1999).]

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

*giggles excitedly* ANH!!! sorry, Baloo--calling you on this one. Jeff, my sister, and i were playing trivial pursuit, and we had this question:

quote:

Q: What did Otto Titzling invent?
A: The brassiere.

I kid you not. Talk about marketing...with a name like that...heh. :P Seriously, though...only a MAN could invent something this uncomfortable. A man also invented the "wonderful" invention of pantyhose...which women have now found useful for STRANGLING men with. *L* Wonder why? here--shave your legs and try a pair. *L*

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Well, this page says otherwise. Of course, if you're really uncomfortable, feel free to stop wearing bras. Better yet, abandon clothes altogether.

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http://frankg.dgne.com/
"I could never sleep my way to the top, 'cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up." - TMBG

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Q: What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?

A: A navel.

So wear bras people.

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

*steps neatly aside to avoid the plummeting tone of this thread*

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

The thing I hate most about "Trivial Pursuit" is that when I get a question wrong, half the time it's because I'm RIGHT!

T.P. (apt abbreviation, I might add) is not a definitive source of information. It's a game invented by people who had deadlines to meet and bills to pay and therefore got things wrong due to time pressure. (I'm being kind and assuming they weren't wrong just because they figured no-one else would bother checking their answers -- I do!)

Here's some corroborative evidence for my statement above:

http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/brassiere/bra.html

The site's misnomer is "Useless Information". It's a misnomer (opinion = mine) in that no information is completely useless.

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I have an unfair advantage.
I have a dictionary and I'm not afraid to use it!
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited July 04, 1999).]

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Yup yup. As soon as I make enough money to manufacture my own clothing company, I'm designing underwear that supports the shelf I have on my chest and doesn't POKE THE HELL out of me!! *^!%@$^%@$$ underwire bra..*

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"Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned"

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Trivial pursuit is nice. When they asked "which country invented blah blah" you can bet your ass on it the answer is "The Netherlands" How original. Groan. My parents loved it though.

But, why do women have breasts anyway? They get in the way, are sometimes too heavy, and can choke a child if you're careless. I mean, no other living being on earth has them. So why? Though I guess I could also ask why humans don't have hair, and have menstruation. Note that all these specifically human traits are nuisances. And often female. I'm glad I'm a man!

Posted by Sunspot (Member # 77) on :

Hair? Do you mean fur?

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"Just remember...you're the queen!"
Tom Paris to Janeway, "Bride of Chaotica!"

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

A bra with heart-rate monitor, GPS, cell-phone, and the battery to power them.

Is this a new definition of "technical support?"

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

We have breasts to nurse our young.... mammary glands.

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

I think what RW was referring to is the fact that human female mammary glands are typically only a tiny fraction of the tissue that comprises a breast. Desmond Morris brings that subject up in "The Human Animal". His theories include the probability that human female breasts are larger than in other primates simply because human females do not have an obvious estrus.

Secondary sexual characteristics exist only to provide us males a clue to when a female is old enough to breed. It's more complex than that, but judging by some of the males I have known, I suppose we might have died out in the absence of such blatant signals.

--Baloo

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I have an unfair advantage.
I have a dictionary and I'm not afraid to use it!
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

:P well fine then. I hearby withdraw my statement. *L*
stupid trivial pursuit...

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Baloo: That guy! I saw this TV programme of him once and it suddenly struck me as odd: Why ain't animals got no tits if humans do? (sorta) And aside from getting in the way and all, they only provide more substance for cancer to grow in. Which is exactly what's up with my mother now :[

Posted by Jaresh Inyo on :

But on the upside, they provide a pleasant distraction from, er, anything.

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Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...

Posted by Dani (Member # 57) on :

As if I'm hearing men complain about women having breasts...*blinks* *shakes her head* *wanders off to find some Q-tips*

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http://sapphire.solareclipse.net

WAIT......

Keyboard error
Press <�F1 > to RESUME_

[This message has been edited by Dani (edited July 07, 1999).]

Posted by HMS White Star (Member # 174) on :

to RW: actually it's a little known fact but men get breast cancer too

. It's just not as a big of a deal amoung men as it is amoung women.

Actually I believe the reason humans have breasts (human females that is ) is that before we humans walked upright the butt was the common sexual display (the obvious estrus that Baloo was talking about). However when we walked upright the primary sexual display the butt might be miss by someone passing in front of the females, so the theory goes a second frontal sexual display was added, namely the breast. I believe that is what I heard from one of Desmond Morris shows.

HMS White Star

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

I don't know if Desmond Morriss' theories are absolutely correct, but they do seem to explain why the adolescent male brain tends to pop all it's circuit-breakers when a healthy human female is observed.

Yes, women, you heard right. We weren't being stupid, we were mentally handicapped by our endocrine systems. That's why teenaged men have such a difficult time conversing with teenaged women. Unless we were speaking from a well-rehearsed script, we only had about 3 neurons capable of stringing syllables together and calling it speech.

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Christ is coming soon.
Look busy.
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[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited July 07, 1999).]

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Ah, breasts. I'll never touch them.. Sigh. I'll never even get close to them. Girls avoid me. I hate myself.

Anyway, so I can get breast cancer too? Hm. I already have the breasts... I should lose some weight. But I can't.

HELP ME! I'M A SAD UGLY SUCKER!!

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

RW: you can, actually. Cases of male breast cancer is not as rare as one would think.

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Why do I get the feeling that a huge breast should be entering the forums, chasing us?

Posted by Jaresh Inyo on :

I would think that breasts would be a way to draw attention to the particular female, since studies have shown that busty women are no better at nursing, and, in fact, sometimes worse.

I'm sure that some of you are familiar with that Seinfeld where Jerry compares clevage to the sun, in that you should only take quick peaks. Well, a few weeks ago, my friend and I were talking about Star Trek in the caf, when I rather well endowed girl we both know bent over in front of us to grab a pen, causing her shirt to fall forward.

The conversation, which had been brisk and heated, stopped dead.

My friend said "Matt, you know that Seinfeld episode when Jerry makes that analogy about the breasts and the sun."

"Yeah, yeah I do," says I. "And frankly," I continued, "I think I just stared at a detonating nuclear weapon."

As that story illustrates, for some reason, breasts do paralyze us. I don't know why. Perhaps one of you do.

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Whenever Seinfeld is mentioned, I feel obligated to mention that I hate that show, because it uses some sort of evil EM waves to warp people's brains. Or something like that. I have no basis for this, but I'm convinced it's true!

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http://frankg.dgne.com/
RB: "'Get a life' is a phrase heard a lot, though I have never known exactly what kind was implied. Seems a lot of shallowness and greed is the rule."
CS: "I guess that it means the kind of life led by the characters of 'Dawson's Creek' or 'The Simpsons'."

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Wait, I just remembered the basis. It's because the show is so bad that it couldn't possibly be as popular as it is otherwise.

Posted by HMS White Star (Member # 174) on :

I as someone is errr was a teenager (since I 20 I don't know if I still one) I can say I have never had any trouble taking to a girl, mostly because my low self esteem makes me think that no young lady would ever like to go out with me

, which oddly enough makes it really really easy to talk to young ladies

. On the subject of breast all I have to say is don't stare it makes you look bad. Actually I gotten to the point where I only glance at a young lady's body, and mostly look into there eyes (and I have discovered how many people have pretty eyes). At least I know I trying to be good and hopefully they will know that to. Perhaps I should also go out on a Friday night. what the hell I am doing at home

. O well I time to go to bed.

HMS White Star

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Good attitude.

Guys, it counts many, MANY points in your favor when the "nice pair" you openly admire reside on her face, not her chest. Besides, it's easier to get away with saying "You have beautiful eyes." as opposed to:

"Nice set!"
[Gives "thumbs-up sign.]

(Followed by)

[Sound of petite fist rearranging teeth.]

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"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
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[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited July 09, 1999).]

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

*chuckles* *Looks over at Jubes and grins* this has gotten interesting, hasn't it sis? now we know whats REALLY on their minds....*LOL*

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 76) on :

Whatever it is that causes males to stare transfixed at a female figure....I like it. Who cares what makes us do it, point is, it works. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA.

You have not yet begun to even imagine what is on the brain of the male.

Nor do I think you'd like to know.

(And BTW, Frank, I have discovered that Jerry Seinfeld is actually a tiny mouse bent on world domination).

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' *Bludgeons Antag* '
Frank G, seriously injuring one of the Forums most valued members.

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Ah, great. I was beginning to worry I was going crazy.

Posted by HMS White Star (Member # 174) on :

I do not stare tranfixed at a female figure, well at least not most of time and not when they are looking

.
Honestly, I thank God every day that he created women, and then ask him why he hasn't sent one my way

"...Jerry Seinfeld is actually a tiny mouse bent on world domination".
O my God that make so much sense now that I think about it, George must be Pinky!!!

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HMS White Star (your local friendly agent of Chaos:))

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

OmyGOD!

I never put it together before!

I will have to watch Seinfeld now, though I have never desired to do so before!

No-one takes over the world while I'M around!

That's MY job!

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

I feel more at home in a female envionment. All of my best friends (and only friens) bar one were female. So you'd say I'd get a girlfriend one day.

BUT NO!

Posted by HMS White Star (Member # 174) on :

to RW: Female friends, that's bad, when females only what to be your friend. Hell even I have had a chance to have a girlfriend, but I messed it up. Hey here's an idea, ask one (or more) of your female friends to sent you up with a girl (in my experience, females have a better understanding of which females are attracted to which male and well they are more likely to be in the know

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HMS White Star (your local friendly agent of Chaos:-) )

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

White Star: Think of it from the female perspective too. *L* it DOES go both ways. there was a group of us senior year...girls AND guys. I'd have loved to have had a different kind of relationship with this one guy, or even just gone to prom with him. but i think he had a girlfriend. :P so i just had to settle for being his friend, which really might have been better that way in the end :-) *grins at Jeff*

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��