Flare Sci-Fi Forums: The Christian Dog...

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Or: "My cousin sent me this".

This Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.
When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.
That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
Well, they said, "Let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head!

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All the wrong people have a good opinion of themselves.
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Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Good thing this ain't on the Flameboard.

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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

You told it better then I did in Jubilee's thread.

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WHO ARE YOU

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

This reminds me of another one:

Did you ever hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic?
He'd lay awake nights wondering if there really was a Dog.

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All the wrong people have a good opinion of themselves.
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Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

I know that one. BTW (loosely related subject) what gets me is many people think an atheist means someone who hates religious people, or even someone who wants to kill religious people. I heard this several times now, and as an atheist I do feel offended, yes.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Typical Theist propaganda.

"Atheist" Means "Without Theos," Theos being a belief in a Deity or Deities. You can be violently or non-violently Atheist, just as you can be violently or non-violently any type of Theist.

Then there are folks who are Agnostic (Without Knowledge), who assert that although there may be a God, nobody knows It or what It wants, nor is it possible to comprehend. These folks generally accept God in theory, but not scriptural doctrines of any kind.

Agnosticism, plus a belief that the Universe exists for some reason which we are a part of, can lead to Deism, which essentially asserts that God started the universe, but had nothing to do with it after that, does not influence natural events, and has provided no revelationary knowledge.

This, with minor modifications, is me.

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

**wwwwaaaassss uuuunnnfffooorrrttuunnnaaaattellyyyy iiinnn tthhhheeee ppprrrrocceessss offf dddrrriinkiinnggg wwheeen heee rrreeaaaadd thhaatt annnddd nnoowww alllllll thhheeeeee keeeys arrre sstickyyyy*

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Good!

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WHO ARE YOU

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

For blind adherence to doctrine, I'll choose a militant vegetarian over a fundamentalist anything any day (althought I'll admit, it would be a close call!)

--Baloo

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All the wrong people have a good opinion of themselves.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

I don't understand those people like the animal liberation front either. One certain Dutch faction set four meat trucks (filled with meat, yes) alight some time ago. This means those animals were killed, but now that they can't be eaten they were killed for no pupose at all. So the ALF with this action contradicted itself. Huh.

Sticky keyboard eh? Happens to me from time to time, but I don't drink

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

one-handed typing again?

Hey, not only did those ALF-types destroy all that animal-flesh, they also polluted the air with all the smoke. Good work, guys. Meanwhile, I'm a meat-eater and I've never set anything bigger than a fireplace full of kindling on fire.