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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Cargile</b> <br /><small>Member # 45</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,1,39,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:39 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Yep, when your life pretty much unravels, it is time to repeat Ozzy Osborne and say, Mama, I'm coming home. These past twelve years have been a learning experience. I've enjoyed them. I hated them. The best part was being there when my daughter Bethany was born almost four years ago. The worst part was discovering that I had been loved not for who I was, but for what I had (and when I no longer had it, it was goodbye.)Since me and Bethany's mother are like two magnetic north poles, I shall depart the household, hopefully by the end of the month, and return to my native Georgia (not the old Soviet state) and begin afresh. It pains me to leave a child. It has been a hard decision. But I have nothing here in North Carolina. No future except to be a mill operator all my life. I think not. I'm better than that. <BR>I wasn't ready to continue school after highschool. I am now. There is so much I want to do, so much that I want to be, that if I don't leave and make it happen, it never will happen. My dreams and successes will be just dreams envisioned and never enacted.<BR>And I believe and have solid faith that I will be a better father to Bethany if I do this.<BR>Insofar, I plan to study physics, do some drama--I'd love to act--and I want to be a part of movie making, from screenplays to directing, to acting. I think it is about time I made my dreams come true. I want to reach people. I want to make people think, or rethink. I want to make an impact.<BR>And most of all, I want Bethany to understand this. I think she will. My greatest fear is that she will assume that I am abandoning her. But, of course, I will remain in communication with her always. This experience is not new to me. My sister actually did abandon her first daughter Tara--leaving her with her father--moving to New Orleans, and later New York state (and finally back home.) While home once, I had the misfortune to hear my three year old niece crying in the night for her mother. I have never felt that much anguish in my life as I tried to console her. I beleive I felt everything she felt and I cried just as deeply.<BR>It doesn't have the be the same way in my situation. I'm not going to let it. I know my actions (including the future divorce) will hurt my daughter, but I know that trying to cling to a relationship that is a lie will hurt her worst. The best possible future for us both lies in me moving away to make my life, and subsequently hers, better.<P>I just wanted to share that with you. (Who needs therapy when there is the Internet?)<P>------------------<BR>"What is that? A tank?"<BR>--Our Lord and Savior David Koresh, the Second Coming snuffed out before He could any good. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Sol System</b> <br /><small>Member # 30</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,2,45,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:45 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I wish you the best of luck, Paul.<P>------------------<BR>"Have you ever seen a bloody egg? Glass in hand, laying up in bed?"<BR>--<BR>They Might Be Giants <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>The_Tom</b> <br /><small>Member # 38</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,3,12,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">03:12 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> *really hates it when he has to be so uncreative in a response, but this is probably the best I could use*<P>What he said.<P>------------------<BR>"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."<BR>-The good Doctor and his son, Scot<P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Kosh</b> <br /><small>Member # 167</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,9,47,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:47 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Good luck Paul! I think you are doing the single most difficult thing any person could do, leaving a child you love so much, but in the end, as you have said, it will be the best for her as well as for you. The one thing worse then a broken home, has got to be an unhappy home.<P>------------------<BR><B>WHO ARE YOU?</B><P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Charles Capps</b> <br /><small>Member # 9</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,12,29,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:29 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> *grimace* <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Jubilee</b> <br /><small>Member # 99</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,14,29,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:29 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> In the end, what it comes down to is that the decision that is the right one does not always make everyone happy immediatly. You need to do this, and I think that It's the best thing for your daughter, as well. I wish you the best of luck and i'm sure there are lots of us praying for you. :-)<P>------------------<BR>"It is important to get up when you fall...for this much I know to be true: That thing we call Failure is not in the falling down, but the staying down." <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,7,3,23,42,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">August 03, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:42 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Thanks, Jube! I couldn't have said it better myself. (So I didn't. Sometimes it takes me a while to ramp up to a relevant thought.)<P>Paul, you are in our prayers (those of us who pray) and thoughts (those of us who think, anyhow <IMG SRC="http://flare.solareclipse.net/wink.gif">). <P>--Baloo<p>[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited August 03, 1999).] <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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