A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog,eh? The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.. "What do you think frog?," the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit, $3000, black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf Game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes Sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful".

The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous
15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

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Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited August 10, 1999).]
 

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You know Bill Clinton addressed the American Bar Association convention recently [just 11 days after he received a fine for perjury and increased activity by political rivals to have him disbarred from Alabama]?

He was their second choice, but John Gotti couldn't get out of his prior commitment.
 

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Jackson: "This tastes like chicken..."
Carter: "What's wrong with that?"
Jackson: "It's macaroni and cheese."
-Stargate: SG-1, "The First Commandment"
 

*Shudders*

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Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...

 

Some of you may know that the American Bald Eagle was recently taken off the Endangered Species list, as it has been breeding well lately.

What you may not have heard is that, at a banquet given in honor of this success, Clinton gave a speech about the bald eagle and conservation, with a live eagle beside him. as he reached the part about "The bald Eagle symbolizes all that is right and good in America..." The Eagle reached out and BIT him.

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

 

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

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"S`io credessi che mia rispota fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu' scosse.
Ma perciocche` giammai di questo fondo
Non torno` vivo alcun, s`i`odo il vero,
Senza tema d`infamia ti rispondo."
- Dante`