Flare Sci-Fi Forums: How Jesus manages to keep his cool...

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Yep, only this time, I'm not related to the person who forwarded it to me.

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven (work with me here! suspend your disbelief!). St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day.
When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied: "We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told."
Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln had only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life.
Hillary asked "Where is Bills' clock"? St. Peter replied, "Jesus has it in His office...He is using it as a ceiling fan".

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You can only take offense if you brought some with you.
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Posted by Jaresh Inyo on :

I would think a helicopter rotar would be more appropriate.

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Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

*LOL* I've heard this one before, just not with Clinton in it.

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"I told you. You're dead. This is the afterlife. And I'm God."
--Q to Picard, "Tapestry".

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

I'm having no trouble suspending disbelief for the last part.

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

(rimshot)

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

I heard the same joke a long time ago, but then the clock was Nixon's. Even more recently, I heard the clock was Jerry Fallwell's.

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"We shall not yield to you, nor to any man." -- Freak, The Mighty.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

I heard this joke for the first time probably around six or seven years ago. But it wasn't about Clinton, and it sure wasn't about lying... *wonders if anyone else knows what he's talking about*

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"There's someone in my head, but it's not me..."
-Pink Floyd, "Brain Damage"

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Wow.

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Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now,
You've got someone to blame.