Flare Sci-Fi Forums: My cousin sent this...

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Hmmm... He seems to be dredging the bottom of the barrel. Come to think of it, that's where the rest of these things came from anyway, so who cares?

25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
It's an incentive to show up.
It reduces stress.
It leads to more honest communications.
It reduces complaints about low pay.
It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
It encourages carpooling.
Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
It makes fellow employees look better.
It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
Ewwww! I don't wanna think about that one!
It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.

Personally, I'm not sure that plan would work very well in the military. If you're gonna go shoot at people, I'm sure all the noncombatants would want to be sure you will try very hard not to hit them.

--Baloo

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You can only take offense if you brought some with you.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited September 03, 1999).]

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

This could solve the moral problem for State employees.

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by HMS White Star (Member # 174) on :

Actually beer is already served at some plants in Germany, like the plants that make BMW, however it is being phased out

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HMS White Star (your local friendly agent of Chaos:-) )

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Oh yeah. I could see how much better a job I'd do as desk attendant while i'm drunk: i'd let EVERYONE in, all the time!

Come to think of it, that sounds like a really good perk. Then I wouldn't have to worry about remembering to sign my guest out, either..

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"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies

Posted by Dani (Member # 57) on :

Ummm...it's pretty much company policy that certain persons can have a couple drinks here on Friday...*LOL* We have beer bottles littered all over the office, usually in big stacks in the print room.

Unfortunately, it's mostly just the guys upstairs that don't have to talk to the customers, although I did catch the receptionist with a beer last week.

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"You're just about as useful as .JPGs to Helen Keller."

- Weird Al (It's All About The Pentiums)