This is topic A (now ex-) co-worker sent me this in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
REASONS WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENIS:

Some folks have it, some don�t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off. They think that those who don�t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don�t have it may agree that it�s a nifty toy, but think it�s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don�t have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It�s more fun when it�s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, it�s only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that�s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you�ve started playing with it, it�s hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn�t have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. It�s hard to tell what kind of person you�re dealing with until it�s too late.

If you don�t apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you�ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you�re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will ward your behaviour. Later you may ask yourself, �Why on earth did I do that?�

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to it�s own devices, it will just do the same damn thing it did before.

PS: he was leaving anyway! 8)

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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks

 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
ADCW#$RWGT%.

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx


 


Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
 
Hmm......... But do men get bigger cars to make up for their lack of large email accounts?

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"Sully, for Shame! And don't be foolish! What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see eachother once or twice?"
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull
 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Maybe. I have a small car. . . }B)

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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks

 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
My car caught fire. Freud would have kittens...

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."

-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
I got a bigger car partly so my son couldn't kick the back of my seat and drive me nuts (as fast).

--Baloo

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