Facts of Marriage =================== The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" - - - - - - - - - - In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. - - - - - - - - - - My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. - - - - - - - - - - Why do men die before their wives? They want to. - - - - - - - - - - What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks. - - - - - - - - - - A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." - - - - - - - - - - Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mother-in-laws. - - - - - - - - - - Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. - - - - - - - - - - A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - - - - - - - - - - The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - - - - - - - - - - First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." - - - - - - - - - - How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free. - - - - - - - - - - Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. - - - - - - - - - - If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. - - - - - - - - - - Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." - - - - - - - - - - A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." - - - - - - - - - - The bumper sticker read: "I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her." - - - - - - - - - - Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
I guess you can these are from a mans point of view....
------------------ "I want to change the way the world effects me" http://members.theglobe.com/ddunehew/default.html
Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
I'm curious. Now Baloo's cousin isn't sending him things, but is instead posting them straight here, what is Baloo going to talk about? 8(
------------------ "Have you seen blood in the moonlight, Will? It appears quite black."
- Dr. Hannibal Lecktor (Brian Cox), Manhunter (Michael Mann, 1986)
Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
Baloo has other cousins...
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
Just literally ROARING with laughter.
But I'm in denial right now, saying "It ain't gonna happen to me......"
Wait until 10 years from now......
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
"Where do you see yourself in ten years, Tahna Los?"
"Still dealing in dangerous devices with renegade Klingons... Never married. Never in a decade."
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :
I'm not sure whether to laugh or get a gun...
------------------ "Diplomacy is the art of Internationalising an issue to your advantage"
------------------ "Sully, for Shame! And don't be foolish! What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see eachother once or twice?" - Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
ROFLHVAO!
------------------ Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx
