Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Cousin Daena sent this one...

This is topic Cousin Daena sent this one... in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

If you are deeply offended by the following humor, you probably fit the profile of the person(s) described.

Tough.

Rule 1: ~ Life is not fair; get used to it.
Rule 2: ~ The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: ~ You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: ~ If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Rule 5: ~ Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: ~ If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
Rule 7: ~ Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: ~ Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: ~ Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: ~ Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: ~ Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
--George Carlin
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

And you guys were worried he'd run out of things to post....

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"Sully, for Shame! And don't be foolish! What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see eachother once or twice?"
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Funny, I found (and have posted on my desk at work so that library patrons can read it) that exact same list, almost word-for-word, in an Ann Landers column, where it had been sent in by a woman who spotted it in a church bulletin.

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"We shall not yield to you, nor to any man." -- Freak, The Mighty.

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

I fail to see how this humour could be offensive, really...

My school went with the "you can always get it right" approach for a year. I'm so glad it failed.

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")