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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Xentrick</b> <br /><small>Member # 64</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,9,21,2,30,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">October 21, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:30 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> got this via email, and the distribution list reads like a phonebook. sorry if you've seen this elsewhere (over and over again)<P>How to Bathe a Cat <BR>Please forward to cat lovers everywhere who, like myself, are very concerned about their hygiene. <BR>1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. <BR>2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. <BR>3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. <BR>4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). <BR>CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. <BR>5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. <BR>6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. <BR>7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. <BR>8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. <P>Sincerely, <BR>The DOG <P><P>------------------<BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Kosh</b> <br /><small>Member # 167</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,9,21,12,23,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">October 21, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:23 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> The whole thing is set up for the signature. Sweet!<P>------------------<BR><B>"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor". George Carlin </B><P> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Coddman</b> <br /><small>Member # 10</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,9,30,20,59,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">October 30, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">08:59 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Very mean. *muses* I like it.<P>------------------<BR>If my mind wasn't a total blank all the time, I'd have something creative written here. But it is. So sue me.<BR>[ <A HREF="http://www.linneberg.com/url/url.pl?http://www.linneberg.com" TARGET=_blank>www.linneberg.com</A> ] <B>|</B> [ <A HREF="mailto:webmaster@linneberg.com">webmaster@linneberg.com</A> ] <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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