Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Rugby World Cup Update

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Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Rugby World Cup Update:

Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing "The Haka" before their world cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone can beat them now.

The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.

The Ireland team will spilt into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.

Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forceably removed by the Stewards.

Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other thirteen whom they will coral between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

The Americans will not be there until half time. In future years they will alter the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called "Saving No8 Lyle".

Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest of the side to ransom.

The Italian team will arrive in red cars, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.

The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch mow it and then claim that it was all in line with the European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.

The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players (over 35) and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep lose in the opposition half and burn the officials.

The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite their mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush & still win the World Cup

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

*LOL*

Love the U.S. one.

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :

*bashes Irn-Bru bottle on his own head by mistake*
*passes-out*

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"NO! NO! Kill you all!
Die! MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!"

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Where are you going to find an American who plays rugby? For that matter, where are you going to find an American who knows what rugby is?! *L*

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"I think you people have proven something to the world: that a half a million kids can get together and have three days of fun and music� and have nothing but fun and music."
-Max Yasgur; Woodstock, NY; August, 1969

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Oh, I remember when in an episode of 'Rosanne' Dan was flicking the channels and said 'oh Rugby'

anyway...

you forgot Namibia, Uraguay, Tonga, Samoa and Romania

Tonga have their own 'Haka' - I can't remember what its called though.

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Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

*LOL@Lee*

I'm afraid my interest in the World Cup lasted only as long as England were still in. Now I just settle for hurling abuse at both teams, the referees and the touch judges, and want to see both sides kill each other...

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Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

*LOL@Lee* I like the French and US ones, and the Welsh one is just hilarious.

I lost interest in the world cup when England went out.
*sobs* Now I just hurl abuse at both teams, the referee and the touch judges.

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Do business with us, or we'll ruin you.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Good Ghods! Triple post!

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'In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to Liberty; he is always in allegiance to the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection of his own." ---- Thomas Jefferson

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

"Three stripes on the shirt..... "

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"...when all that is driving my heart forward
is you, thoughts of you, hopes for you,
and a fading dream with a Mona Lisa smile
that whispers "are you thinking of me too?"

21 days till the dreams become reality...

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Let me see...

"Rugby is sort of like American football except the ball isn't quite as pointy and (the attorneys pay close attention to details like this) YOU WEAR NO SAFETY GEAR WHATSOEVER?!?!?!?!?

I'm afraid we shall never see a good American rugby team. Too many opportunities for lawsuits.

I'll bet Australian rules football could find a following here, with the Extreme Sports crowd.

--Baloo

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Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

It's THREE LIONS on the shirt. . . and you're not allowed to sing it unless you're English. Which come to think of it, I'm not. But then I don't sing it. And anyway the song's a football song. And boy did I laugh when England went out of the World Cup last year. Even though I still think David Beckham should have been publicly crucified in Trafalgar Square. And that the game after he was sent off was some of the most exciting football you've ever seen. Oh, well.

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

No.... this is a spoof.... "Three stripes on the shirt, right near where it say "Umbro".. the white ones show the dirt... the grey one not as much though.."

And since according the people who's company I was keeping i'm an honorary brit, I will sing whatever the hell bleeding "English" song I want to, thank you very much.
And I knew it was about football, but I felt like singing it anyways, so = P on you.

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"...when all that is driving my heart forward
is you, thoughts of you, hopes for you,
and a fading dream with a Mona Lisa smile
that whispers "are you thinking of me too?"

21 days till the dreams become reality...

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

*o_O*

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Oooh! Ya boggled him, Jubes!

Do it again!

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If this is the future, then where are all the flying cars?
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Oh, reguards my smart-arseish post above about the missed teams

I forgot "Fiji"

Anyway - I actually stayed up last night and watched the NZvFrance match!

as soon as France scored that try in the second half I just turned to mum and said - "FRANCE ARE GONNA WIN!"

anyway... better game than the Australia v SA...

Hey now the English viewers have a side to barrak for - Australia - since of course they HATE the French...

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"Remove your hand or I will remove your arm!" - 7 of 9

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

There is a Rugby club here in Charleston. I've never seen them, just know someone who was in it.

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Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time!!
Gandalf

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

We do hate the French, but if you saw the France vs New Zealand game, you'd have seen the French getting all of the English support. Despite the beef wars, the desire to get the cup into the Northern hemisphere seems to be greater. We'll wait until the match is over, and then start barracking the frogs again. I don't know how the Welsh feel about this because they traditionally hate the English, so they may support Australia just to spite us.

Going back to Lee's original post, the suggestion attributed to the Welsh would be funny, albeit sick.

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Do business with us, or we'll ruin you.

[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited November 01, 1999).]

Posted by Brown_supahero (Member # 83) on :

For you americans that don't know what Rugby is..

The game that you play when you get kicked off the Football team in college and the only way to keep your scholar ship is to play rugby, 'cause it is the only game close to Football. And when you play your first game you get penalize for an illegal hit. (You hit the guy like a saftey on a wide reciever except he don't get up and you start a brawl).

That's what happened to me!

right now i'm playing for a club team, i still play football as a player/coach. I intergrated some rugby plays in football.

What worked
Wide receivers doing grubber kicks.
Laterals
Lifting wide recievers like in line outs

What didn't
Rucks & mauls
Drop goals