There are many things to be found in the basement (or dumpster) of Warehouse 23.
Click here to see for yourself: Warehouse 23
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"...when all that is driving my heart forward
is you, thoughts of you, hopes for you,
and a fading dream with a Mona Lisa smile
that whispers "are you thinking of me too?"
20 days till the dreams become reality...
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If my mind wasn't a total blank all the time, I'd have something creative written here. But it is. So sue me.
[ www.linneberg.com ] | [ [email protected] ]
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Welcome, come in. Ah, fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead....
~C. Mongomery Burns
quote:
You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...A large map of the US and Canada (folded up and stamped `Top Secret'). Several large arrows start in Canada and point at important US cities and military installations. At the base of each arrow is a military sounding label such as `25th Airborne', `6th Mech. Inf.', or `1st Armored Canoe Division'.
This could be usefull.
*Folds up map and puts it safely in his jacket pocket*
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"But, it was so artistically done."
-Grand Admiral Thrawn
"A large yellow skull, combining features of early man and gorilla, but much larger than either. It's not
fossilized, and is wrapped in an old, tattered North
West Mounted Police red serge coat."
Godahmmmit! I wanted a chocolate!
*throws skull out of window*
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"NO! NO! Kill you all!
Die! MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!"
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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
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"...when all that is driving my heart forward
is you, thoughts of you, hopes for you,
and a fading dream with a Mona Lisa smile
that whispers "are you thinking of me too?"
20 days till the dreams become reality...
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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
...a yellow and white checkered sphere bearing four faces painted in black. As you turn the heavy object over within your palms, you hear a series of faint clicking noises coming from within. Reaching into the crate again, you pull out a manual entitled, simply, "The Mark One Spinning Face - Deadly accurate. Pneumatic-driven. No system clocks. Will never crash." The rest of the manual is written in a pictographic language you are unable to decypher.
*Rummages further in the Dumpster*
Beneath a layer of Serbo-Croatian newspapers, soggy
with a bubbling green liquid that smells like barbecue sauce, you uncover . . .
A science book describing the intestines as part of the parietal lobe. Deeper investigation suggests that the less material you consume, the louder your apprehension of time. Eventually, the more you consume - the more gastrointestinal stangulation of circulatory fluidity emphasizes the 1's to take 0 places during mental function notion over time!
*Even more Rummaging*
But as you look closer, you realize it's not that at all - it is really . . .
An antipope. If applied to a real pope it explodes instantly.
Who has the time to think about this stuff anyway?
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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation
[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited November 01, 1999).]
A children's comic book, Tales of the Wilderlund, featuring talking
animals having rather tame adventures. The dialogue, titles and advertising
are written in a strange dialect of English. While they don't refer to them or
use them, the animals all have explicitly drawn genitalia.
I opened another box and found...
A wooden model of M. C. Escher's impossible triangle.
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"Remove your hand or I will remove your arm!" - 7 of 9
A set of one dozen MIB-grade tinfoil hat-liners with complete instructions on their construction and use to prevent the effects of mind-control rays. They would work, but are now of merely historical interest, as the mind control system has since been upgraded and will bypass protection of this nature.
Hmm. Okay, try another one. . .
A device, about the size of an electric typewriter, with slots on the left and right. A placard on the front is written in Braille, and identifies it as a "money imprinter." Bills fed in the left side will be optically recognized, stamped in braille with their denomination and type, and fed out the right side. The process doesn't damage the bill, it merely raises bumps in its surface which can be read by touch. It recognizes all contemporary currencies, and has a pull-out drawer into which more ROM chips can be plugged (presumably for new forms of currency). A sheaf of documents elsewhere in the crate describe correctly its operation and inexpensive construction using currently available technology. However, the device has a bloodstain on it, and an attached tag reads merely "Suppress indefinitely."
Ho hum.
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"'Psychos' do not explode when sunlight hits them! I don't give a f*** how crazy they are!"
- George Clooney, From Dusk Till Dawn
A box about six inches on a side, which what seems to be a mirrored bottom. A closer look will reveal that the images in the mirror are not reversed. If you reach into the box, or poke anything inside, it will bump into itself when it reaches the plane of the "mirror," which is actually a space warp.
In the dumpster, I found the gasoline powered turtleneck and the nailpolish that thinks it's a goat too. Do you get the feeling that there's something not quite so "random" about it?
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Do business with us, or we'll ruin you.