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This is just so true!! (The other side of the coin.)
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,10,8,23,37,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">November 08, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:37 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Someone complained about the dogs/women joke in another thread. I found the following at the <A HREF="http://www.kfs.org/~kashka/ammd.html" target=_blank>ALL MEN MUST DIE!</A> website. I constantly am sent by email, hear in conversation, and see on television humor just like this every day. I am <B>NOT</B> sick and tired of it. It's funny. Some of it may even directly apply to me (but I sure-as-heck won't tell you which ones).<P><center><Font size="+1">Why Dogs Are Better Than Men</font></center><P><ul><li>Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.<P><li>Dogs miss you when you're gone.<P><li>You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.<P><li>Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.<P><li>Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.<P><li>Dogs don't criticize your friends.<P><li>Dogs admit when they're jealous.<P><li>Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.<P><li>Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).<P><li>Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.<P><li>Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.<P><li>No dog ever voted to confirm Clarence Thomas.<P><li>You can train a dog.<P><li>Dogs are easy to buy for.<P><li>Dogs are good with kids.<P><li>Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.<P><li>You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.<P><li>Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.<P><li>The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.<P><OL>(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)</OL><P><li>Dogs understand what no means.<P><li>Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.<P><li>Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.<P><li>Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.<P><li>Dogs do not read at the table.<P><li>Dogs think you are a culinary genius.<P><li>You can house train a dog.<P><li>You can force a dog to take a bath.<P><li>Dogs don't correct your stories.<P><li>Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.<P><li>Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.<BR> <BR><li>Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.<P><li>Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.<P><li>Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.<P><li>Dogs admit it when they're lost.<P><li>Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.<P><li>Dogs look at your eyes.<P><li>Dogs like your size.<P><li>Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.<P><li>Dogs take care of their own needs.<P><li>Dogs are color blind.<P><li>Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.<P><li>Dogs mean it when they kiss you.<BR> <BR><li>Dogs are nice to your relatives.</ul><P><center><Font size="+1">How Dogs and Men Are the Same</font></center><P><UL><li>Both take up too much space on the bed.<P><li>Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.<P><li>Both are threatened by their own kind.<P><li>Both like to chew wood.<P><li>Both mark their territory.<P><li>Both are bad at asking you questions.<P><li>Neither tells you what's bothering them.<P><li>Both tend to smell riper with age.<P><li>Men are color blind.<BR> <BR><li>The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.<P><li>Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.<P><li>Neither does any dishes.<P><li>Both fart shamelessly.<P><li>Neither of them notices when you get your hair cut.<P><li>Both like dominance games.<P><li>Both are suspicious of the postman.<P><li>Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.<P><li>Neither understands what you see in cats.</ul><P><center><Font size="+1">Why Men Are Better Than Dogs</font></center><P><UL><li>Men only have two feet that track in mud.<P><li>Men can buy you presents.<P><li>Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.<P><li>Men are a little bit more subtle.<P><li>Men don't eat cat turds on the sly.<P><li>Men open their own cans.<P><li>Dogs have dog breath all the time.<P><li>Men can do math stuff.<P><li>Holiday Inns accept men.</ul><P>------------------<BR>Oreos: <I>Ori-oz</I> (aleph-vav-resh-yud-ayin-zayin), translates as "my light is the source of strength."<BR>--Lori's Mishmash Jewish Humor <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/h--jewis.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/h--jewis.html</A> <BR> <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/" TARGET=_blank>www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/</A> <P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited November 08, 1999).] <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
© 1999-2024 Charles Capps
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