Flare Sci-Fi Forums: If the Airlines were run by the Different OSes

This is topic If the Airlines were run by the Different OSes in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, and the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." - Jeffrey Richman, UB student

[This message has been edited by Jeff Raven (edited December 05, 1999).]

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

*L*

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Of course, the above is propaganda, but it's good propaganda.

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"If knowledge is power, then willful misinformation is the work of the Devil."
-- Barbara "the man who sought Liberty's talents" Mikkelson
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

*BUZZZ!!!!*

Windows Air should CRASH, not explode. And wonder what happens with Air Win98 and Air Win2000?

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

While crasing works as a metahpur, the imag of the plane just exploding is far better.

And Air Win98 would be exactly the same. Except the plane would be infested with cockraoches.

Win2000 would be like Air Windows, exept it'd last 20 minutes before exploding. AND it would take out all other planes in a 40-mile radius.

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*gasp* "The pictures...they're...coming...alive!"
-Abe Simpson, on the miracle of the moving image

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

The first Air Win98 plane would explode during a demonstration, but they would go ahead and build a whole fleet anyway. :-)

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"Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?"
-Linus van Pelt, A Charlie Brown Christmas