Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Sex Therapy...

This is topic Sex Therapy... in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

A friend of mine sent me this. If you're easily offended or under the age of consent, read no further. And if you're either and complain, you didn't follow the directions!

A guy is sitting in a bar one night and talking to one of his drinking buddies about how the spark is going out of his marriage. Well, the drinking buddy says, "You know, the same thing happened to me and my wife after being married about as long as you two have been, so I'll tell you what we did. We went to this Doctor Fleisch, see, and he really helped our sex life. I'll give you his number."
The guy's drinking buddy writes the number down on a cocktail napkin and slips it to him, and the guy rushes right home and tells his wife about it. She is willing to try anything to get a better sex life, so they call of the Doc and make an appointment.
When they go in to see him, the doctor tells them to take off all their clothes so he can examine their... *ahem* working parts. They do as they are told, and after examining the man and his wife, the doctor says, "Yes, by the looks of things, I can help you. What I want you to do is go to the store and buy some grapes and a box of donuts. When you get home, you, sir, will lie down naked on your bed. Your wife will open the box of donuts and proceed to play a little game of ring toss. Once she gets a donut around your love pole, she will crawl over to you and eat it off. Then it is her turn. She must sit on the floor with her legs spread to the hilt, and you will try to roll the grapes into her love canal. When you make one, you will crawl to her and eat it, and then you will have sex, and it will be the best sex you've ever had in your life."
The couple does as they are told, proceed to play the love game, and really did end up having the best sex of their life that night. The next day, the guy was telling the other men he worked with about what had happened, and one guy turned out to be having the same problem, so asked for the doctor's number. The first guy gives it to him, and then the guy's coworker makes an appointment for he and his wife to see thi doctor.
They go through the same examination as the first couple, but this time the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." The couple plead with him, whining about their miserable love life, and finally the doctor gives in.
"Fine," says the doctor, "On your way home, stop by the store and get some apples and a box of Cheerios..."

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"The difference between involved and committed? Look at a plate of ham and eggs. The chicken is involved. The pig is committed."
-- Me
http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Zing!

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"Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?"
--
M. Doughty

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

No grand canyon references please =)

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"Blind faith is the crutch of fools"

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

*lmao* gives me ideas for when I visit my girlfriend this July.

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Admin at the trekbbs.com

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

gives a whole new spin on the "granny smith" apple

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"Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love." - Stand Inside Your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

*mutters a few things to herself about honey dust...*

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"You say don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems.
You say you'd never let me fall, from hopes so high.
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie." - Fiona Apple

Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :

*cracks a smile* I'm not sure if I should lmao or cave my forehead in.

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Death before Dishonor!
However Dishonor has
quite a disputed defintion.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Interestingly, none of my mates have ever heard of the term "Honey dust". The closest I can think of is when someone once said that since they hadn't seen their girlfriend for a few weeks, they were due for a "spring clean". Tsk, how crude some people can be eh?

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Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

Well, isn't that lovely... At least no one here is posting gay-oriented jokes... yet...

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"Life's a bitch, then you die"
-USS Luzon, Vanderbuilt Class starship

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

At this point, the references are starting to get so vague I doubt I'd recognize it. My head hurts.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Well, too much gay sex is probably the cause of that.

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*Amusing quote not available, please call back later*

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Hey, thanks for clearing that up.

Wait a minute...

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Suddenly "Headbanging" get's a fresh spin to it.

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I'm not an atheist, I'm a maybeist�

[This message has been edited by Nimrod (edited May 10, 2000).]

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

I've not heard "honey dust" either, but I have heard "spring cleaning" a few times.

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Admin at the trekbbs.com