Flare Sci-Fi Forums: If you can't stand the humor...

This is topic If you can't stand the humor... in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

...Get out of the thread!

Gravie sent me the following, and I think it's funny. If you don't, your paradigm shifter has burned out synchros.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS
WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE:
In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".
The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp --- The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable --- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.
One word: Lightsabers.
Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not.
Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I".
Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.

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"When you�re a geek . . .
You�re a geek all the way,
From your first sci-fi con
To your last dying day."
-- James Lileks
http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited May 14, 2000).]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I LOVE STARWARS STARTREKS SHIT YOURE ALLSAD GAYWINOES!

(should I stick in an AOL joke?)

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*Amusing quote not available, please call back later*

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I don't think AOLers would say "wino".

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"Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?"
--
M. Doughty

Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :

Redshirts vs Stormtroopers: Exercise in futility...

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"You shot him! You shot him dead!!"
"Well, he was attacking me with a banana!"

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Actually, I think Tom and I discussed that one awhile back. We came to the conclusion that it would tenetively be a Starfleet victory, because while redshirts have an average lifespan of about ten minutes, they can usually hit what they are aiming at during that timespan. Stormtroopers, on the other hand, are simply incapable of hitting anything other than doorframes. I'm sure the redshirts would find other ways of offing themselves, though. Perhaps by falling into all those unguarded chasms that are a standard feature of Imperial archetecture?

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

We need Mike Wong to give a guest lecture here or something.
http://www.stardestroyer.net/Tech/Ground/Ground2.html

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Frank's Home Page
John Flansburgh: "This song is so old that it's actually featured on our brand new record."
John Linnell: "It's one of those year 2000 problems."

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Well, I'd be inclined to suggest that since the bulk of starfleet come across as a bunch of paper pushers there would not be that much of a contest. On the other hand, the Empire lost to a bunch of rebels using the fork..err force.

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"Blind faith is the crutch of fools"

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

[found this at a Star Trek humor page]

Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars

by: Sarah Rasher [ [email protected] ]

10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids.

9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca.

8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma.

7. Star Wars spawned "Battlestar Galactica." The worst Star Trek ever did was "Babylon Five."

6. Spock-- 'nuff said.

5. Star Trek-- the first space shuttle. Star Wars-- a hare-brained nuclear defense system.

4. Kirk met "God" and told him off; Sisko met Q and decked him flat; Luke Skywalker met Yoda and was speechless.

3. Star Wars androids look like electronic trash cans on wheels. Star Trek androids look like some people's ideal in masculine beauty.

2. Star Wars: Princess Leia.
Star Trek: Lt. Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Yeo. Rand, Lt. Saavik, Cmr. Troi, Dr. Crusher, Lt. Yar, Ens. Ro, Dr. Pulaski, Nurse Ogawa, Amb. K'ehleyr, Amb. Lwaxana Troi, Maj. Kira, Lt. Dax, Kai Winn, Lursa, B'etor, Cmr. Sela, Vash, Adm. Netcheyev, Cpn. Janeway, Lt. Torres, Kes. Hmm. . .

1. Star Trek consists of 7 movies and 4 TV series, a total of approximately 375 hours, a figure climbing at warp speed.
Star Wars, despite its following, is limited to 3 movies, a total of about 6 hours.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Hmmm, Star Wars has been the number one top grossing movie, now second to Titanic... And where is the closest Star Trek movie to the top on that list?

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"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

Speaking of Stormtroopers vs Ensigns...

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The above post was mulled-over, composed, and posted during time Tom would have better spent on his plethora of homework and homework-related exercises. Now don't you feel special?

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

OH DEAR GOD!!!!!! *ROTFLMAO!!!*

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Dr. Pulaski!?

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

She's still female despite what you'd rather believe, Sol.

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"One more day before the storm
At the barricades of freedom!
When our ranks begin to form
Will you take your place with me?"
--Enjolras, "One Day More," Les Miserables

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

*pats Tora in the back*

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Dr Pulaski!?

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"Ultra Magnus is Undeniably Fun!" David Stevens, New York Magazine.
"Total Complete excitement from start to finish!" -WPIX-TV, New York
"This isn't a thrill ride, it's a rocket..." -Richard Caves, Time Magazine.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Ziyal: I'm not sure they were just going for women overall. Otherwise, they would have had to mention Luke's aunt and that lady that explained the Death Star II attack in RotJ. And maybe even C-3PO... ;-)

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"The search and the arrest provided several hours of entertainment in the neighborhood."
-"Worm Suspect Arrested", Wired News