T O P I C ��� R E V I E W
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Baloo
Member # 5
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posted
...Get out of the thread!Gravie sent me the following, and I think it's funny. If you don't, your paradigm shifter has burned out synchros. TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE:- In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".
- The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp --- The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
- After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable --- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.
- One word: Lightsabers.
- Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
- The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not.
- Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
- Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
- The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I".
- Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.
------------------ "When you�re a geek . . . You�re a geek all the way, From your first sci-fi con To your last dying day." -- James Lileks http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/ [This message has been edited by Baloo (edited May 14, 2000).]
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PsyLiam
Member # 73
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posted
I LOVE STARWARS STARTREKS SHIT YOURE ALLSAD GAYWINOES!(should I stick in an AOL joke?) ------------------ *Amusing quote not available, please call back later*
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Sol System
Member # 30
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posted
I don't think AOLers would say "wino".------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
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Charles Capps
Member # 9
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posted
Redshirts vs Stormtroopers: Exercise in futility...------------------ "You shot him! You shot him dead!!" "Well, he was attacking me with a banana!"
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Sol System
Member # 30
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posted
Actually, I think Tom and I discussed that one awhile back. We came to the conclusion that it would tenetively be a Starfleet victory, because while redshirts have an average lifespan of about ten minutes, they can usually hit what they are aiming at during that timespan. Stormtroopers, on the other hand, are simply incapable of hitting anything other than doorframes. I'm sure the redshirts would find other ways of offing themselves, though. Perhaps by falling into all those unguarded chasms that are a standard feature of Imperial archetecture?------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
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Aethelwer
Member # 36
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posted
We need Mike Wong to give a guest lecture here or something. http://www.stardestroyer.net/Tech/Ground/Ground2.html ------------------ Frank's Home Page John Flansburgh: "This song is so old that it's actually featured on our brand new record." John Linnell: "It's one of those year 2000 problems."
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Curry Monster
Member # 12
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posted
Well, I'd be inclined to suggest that since the bulk of starfleet come across as a bunch of paper pushers there would not be that much of a contest. On the other hand, the Empire lost to a bunch of rebels using the fork..err force.------------------ "Blind faith is the crutch of fools"
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Xentrick
Member # 64
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posted
[found this at a Star Trek humor page]Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars by: Sarah Rasher [ uuaa78a@prodigy.com ] 10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids. 9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca. 8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma. 7. Star Wars spawned "Battlestar Galactica." The worst Star Trek ever did was "Babylon Five." 6. Spock-- 'nuff said. 5. Star Trek-- the first space shuttle. Star Wars-- a hare-brained nuclear defense system. 4. Kirk met "God" and told him off; Sisko met Q and decked him flat; Luke Skywalker met Yoda and was speechless. 3. Star Wars androids look like electronic trash cans on wheels. Star Trek androids look like some people's ideal in masculine beauty. 2. Star Wars: Princess Leia. Star Trek: Lt. Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Yeo. Rand, Lt. Saavik, Cmr. Troi, Dr. Crusher, Lt. Yar, Ens. Ro, Dr. Pulaski, Nurse Ogawa, Amb. K'ehleyr, Amb. Lwaxana Troi, Maj. Kira, Lt. Dax, Kai Winn, Lursa, B'etor, Cmr. Sela, Vash, Adm. Netcheyev, Cpn. Janeway, Lt. Torres, Kes. Hmm. . . 1. Star Trek consists of 7 movies and 4 TV series, a total of approximately 375 hours, a figure climbing at warp speed. Star Wars, despite its following, is limited to 3 movies, a total of about 6 hours.
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Jeff Raven
Member # 20
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posted
Hmmm, Star Wars has been the number one top grossing movie, now second to Titanic... And where is the closest Star Trek movie to the top on that list?------------------ "No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob
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The_Tom
Member # 38
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posted
Speaking of Stormtroopers vs Ensigns...------------------ The above post was mulled-over, composed, and posted during time Tom would have better spent on his plethora of homework and homework-related exercises. Now don't you feel special?
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Saltah'na
Member # 33
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posted
OH DEAR GOD!!!!!! *ROTFLMAO!!!*------------------ "My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht." Psychiatrist: "Again."
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Sol System
Member # 30
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posted
Dr. Pulaski!?------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
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Diane
Member # 53
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posted
She's still female despite what you'd rather believe, Sol.------------------ "One more day before the storm At the barricades of freedom! When our ranks begin to form Will you take your place with me?" --Enjolras, "One Day More," Les Miserables
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Saltah'na
Member # 33
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posted
*pats Tora in the back*------------------ "My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht." Psychiatrist: "Again."
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Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
Member # 239
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posted
Dr Pulaski!?------------------ "Ultra Magnus is Undeniably Fun!" David Stevens, New York Magazine. "Total Complete excitement from start to finish!" -WPIX-TV, New York "This isn't a thrill ride, it's a rocket..." -Richard Caves, Time Magazine.
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TSN
Member # 31
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posted
Ziyal: I'm not sure they were just going for women overall. Otherwise, they would have had to mention Luke's aunt and that lady that explained the Death Star II attack in RotJ. And maybe even C-3PO... ;-)------------------ "The search and the arrest provided several hours of entertainment in the neighborhood." -"Worm Suspect Arrested", Wired News
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