Flare Sci-Fi Forums: America's Truth Detector

This is topic America's Truth Detector in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Lookie what I found!
http://www.satirewire.com/news/0010/international.shtml

Its so true! we're so lame...

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

"I mean, that's why the Internet is called America Online, right? It's supposed to be about America."

*LMAO*

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"I just can't imagine the sort of thinking that went into making up that story. Oops, sorry for cutting your head off, here, have another. Human? No, only elephants around I'm afraid. Want a lolly?"
-Simon Sizer, 18-Oct-2000

Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :

While the page is dedicated to being humorous, it has done so in a completely racist way. Now I don't want everyone believing that I am offened by anything that might be considered as racist but I'm getting sick and tired of people saying that americans only care about themselves and that we are all important. To me this is no longer just poking fun but really hitting below the belt. I don't know maybe I'm just venting because I've been classified as being a racist just for being an average white middle class male. I'll get off my soap box now.

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Death before Dishonor!
However Dishonor has
quite a disputed defintion.

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Did they just interview people in the various state militias??? Stuff like this seems to perpetuate stupidity...

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Stupid bastards and religious freaks,
so safe in their castle keeps...

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Well, I'm an average white middle class man, and I found it quite humorous...

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I never imagined someone would be able to sum up Pullman so perfectly.

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love's function is to fabricate unknownnness
--
E. E. Cummings
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! And party everyday.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Tec: I'm fairly certain the US has quite a few different races in it...

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Like the Indy500, the CocaCola 9 hundred million, and quite a few others. Go Earnhardt! Or something.

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"...Well, we're about to witness All-in Wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum�, the world's first combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing; and by the makers of Titan�, the novelty nuclear missile. You never know when it'll go off!" - Monty Python, Live at the Hollywood Bowl.
*ahem*

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Tec: You say you don't get offended by anything considered racist? Then you truly ARE a racist. And stating that americans are an own race, well that's priceless.

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So, how's that Survivor-contest coming along, Newt?
-Well not very well at the MOMENT, everyone seems to have died.
-Gee, that's bad. Those Aliens bugging you yet?
-Not really, they mostly come at night mostly...

[This message has been edited by Nimrod (edited October 19, 2000).]

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Hey hey hey! This is a joke-thread! Keep it out of the Flameboard!

Now everyone share a laugh and group hug!

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

Specifically, the software looks for world datelines and keywords indicative of irrelevant foreign stories, including "Shiite," "post-Apartheid," and "Bob Geldof."

Priceless!!

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Sailing the Slipstream

Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :

Nimrod, what I meant by not being offened by most things racist was racist comments towards whites. I personally feel that there is no place for racists anywhere.

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Death before Dishonor!
However Dishonor has
quite a disputed defintion.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Yo, dude, you're looking too deep into this. It's funny. It's not an online lynching and cross-burning.

Put your fingers on either side of your mouth. Now, pull up and out slowly. Open mouth slightly, and you're smiling! Is it not better that bitching?

Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :

I am truly sorry if my actions have seemed to be attacking this odvious abstract humor. I am just extremely tired both mentaly and physcically. I have spent the last week feeling like I've been attacked in one of my courses just for being white. There have been many times that I have felt this way some for being white and others for being american. I do understand that there are many americans who this article fits to a tee. But even humor reaches the point where it can actually be taken by some as close enough to the truth. I am proud and lucky that I was able to grow up here. Most of the time I am able to take these jokes that poke fun at us americans and laugh with them, and at other times I'm just to worn out to care. This is just one of those times. Again I am sorry.

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Death before Dishonor!
However Dishonor has
quite a disputed defintion.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

For the record, I'm proud to be White. Its what I am.

Also, I still think USA is the greatest nation in the world, no matter what anyone else says. I'm proud to be living here.

No worries, Tec.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

*resists urge to vomit*

And you've had soooooo much experience with living in other countries, haven't you?

Can I hit 'em now Daryus? Please?

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

We hit back, we hit harder.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Unless, of course, the constitution says you can't.

I've lived in 4 countries, and I can say, that out of all of them, Canada is my favorite. Note, I'm not saying it's the best, because I'm not a prick. It's my favorite so far. Damn nationalism.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

One isn't normally "proud" to be the same as or worse than something else. Usually, one would be proud to be somehow better. Therefore, if one is "proud to be white", one is suggesting one thinks being white is better than being anything else. That's rather sickening.

Oh, BTW, that goes anyone who's "proud to be black", or "proud to be Oriental", or "proud to be Maori", or whatever. It's all incredibly racist.

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"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
-Yasir Arafat on religious wars

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I disagree. Though there are certainly some negative connotations to the phrase, I think one can have some degree of pride in ones cultural background without the implication of superiority.

I, for instance, rather fancy my Homo Sapiens status, even though I freely admit the Reticulans might throw better parties.

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love's function is to fabricate unknownnness
--
E. E. Cummings
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! And party everyday.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

If I can't feel pride for being white, does this mean I should feel shame for being white? I don't think so. I am what I am, and I'm glad I am.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Liam - Whack em silly.

First, as you may have judged, we're really, really scared.

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Re: Russia in WWII

"Hey, we butchered Poles! Thats OK."
- DT.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Jeff: Why should you feel anything regarding the color of your skin? Y'know, it is possible to feel neither pride nor shame about something, especially something so meaningless...

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"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
-Yasir Arafat on religious wars

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Well, there's a problem there, I'm afraid. (sorry Jeff, I just had to put this in)

In many parts of the western world children are raised to be thankful and appreciative of where they are and how they're doing. That can lead to feeling not only happy to be who you are but feeling superior.

I'm not just talking racial issues, mostly ones of wealth. In my country there's a clich� that probably a lot of you recognize; when a parent feeds a child that doesn't want to eat they can say "think of the starving kids in blablah" and try to inflict a guilty conscience. There are other versions, of course, ones applicable to adults too.

Yes, Sweden has a fine legacy of being content. Prolly a lot because of our neutral state in WWII which let us keep our resources in the market and not in war-factories, it also spared an entire generation of young men. That had us being "pretty" thankful we have what we have, for a long time. So it could lead to not advancing or evolving but staying in your place and being thankful for what you have, but as with some others it can make one feel "better".

Then of course, as PsyLiam said, ignorance, lack of general knowledge and propaganda can make you believe what you have is the only way it should be, and it's the best.
To that, I think pretty much every nation that ever existed is guilty as charged...

I'd like to take it a step further, and take all those good feelings people have about "their" culture, "their" standards and "their" piece of land and aim them at Tellus instead.
If people could say, "Man I just love living on Earth, the food is good and the people are nice". It's the same with team-sports.
If soccer-supporters could see that they love the sport and not just the idolized players of a certain team (that get traded away or quit after just a couple of years) we would'nt have those messy riots. Of course, many guys prolly become "supporters" just so they CAN come down on others of other teams...
Aaand we're back at square one.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Be careful what you wish for... you might get it.

This concept that we should treat all philosophies and religions and viewpoints and ways of looking at things , nations, etc. as though they have equal merit sounds fine...

Until you realize it isn't true.

Or, as the teacher in the 'progressive' school, going AGAINST its 'modern' philosophy, said: "No matter what your perspective is on it, Johnny, 2+2 still doesn't equal 22."

It is self evident, that if a large variety of philosophies exist, it is likely that one is closer to "Truth" than the others. If a large variety of governmental systems exist, it is likely that one IS 'best.' Being an advocate for your own way is not unhealthy, except in where it is blind. You should, at least, present a decent argument, or shut up. (This goes for sports fans, especially.) Being an advocate for your way, but looking down on people simply for being advocates of THEIR way, is, at best, unworthy.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

TSN, it is what I am. That's why. I never said I was better than anyone else, nor do I feel that way. For myself and only myself, being white is a good thing. I wouldn't have it any other way, because I don't know what its like any other way. I don't think I should feel indifference toward what I am.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

quote:
For myself and only myself, being white is a good thing

I'm proud I scored a 98% on my Biology Exam, I'm proud I learned the solo from Metallica's "One" in 2 weeks. I'm proud I'm not a bad baseball player, I'm proud that I've discovered a way to scratch my ass in public without anyone noticing. I'm not proud that I have brown hair, or blue eyes. Nor am I proud that I'm nearsighted, or that I'm a size 10 1/2 shoe. And I am most certainly not proud that I'm white.

I'm proud of things that I actually had a hand in doing, things that are accomplishments, or feats. I don't feel any pride in my skin color, my eye color or the size of my - feet. These are things I had dick-all choic over, and I don't see how someone can be proud of someting that isn't any of their doing.

What's the difference between skin color and feet size? I don't think there really is any at all.

So, does being proud of the fact I have a 10 & 1/2 shoe size sound pretty retarded? Well, ask yourself, what aspect of your life did you have more hand in creating, your shoe size, or your skin color, and tell me what the difference is.

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"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
- Tiger Woods

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Isn't this time for a big car/winky proudness related joke? Shik?

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I, for one, am proud of my car's winky.

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love's function is to fabricate unknownnness
--
E. E. Cummings
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! And party everyday.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Is that why they call them Dinky Cars?

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"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
- Tiger Woods

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

My car must be a female, no balls and can be quite the bitch at times.....

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Stupid bastards and religious freaks,
so safe in their castle keeps...

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Mine has very impressive hooters.

Oh, and my girlfriend has huge tits too...

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Well, we seem to have successfully steered away from the race issue, but I fear the cure will prove worse than the disease.

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love's function is to fabricate unknownnness
--
E. E. Cummings
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! And party everyday.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I dunno. What exactly is the cure for testicular cancer?

(if that offended you, please replace "testicular cancer" with, oh, I dunno, something about bunnies.)

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"If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move." - Spike

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Actually, some people i know would find rabbits more offensive that testicular cancer.

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"So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts"

- Bloodhound Gang

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Especially when they both occupy the same point in space-time.

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Remember December '59
The howling wind and the driving rain,
Remember the gallant men who drowned
On the lifeboat, Mona was her name.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Surely that would just be rabbits that have testicular cancer? Which, I'm ashamed to admit, doesn't actually bother me much.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Well, not necessarily... For instance, if you had testicular cancer, and rabbits happened to occupy the same point in space time, I think you'd be a bit miffed, to say the least...

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"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
-Yasir Arafat on religious wars

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Canceruos growths AND rabbits in your testicles? hmm.

*thinks*

Actyually... dare I say it?

If you had a rabbit in your testicles, you could feed it by shoving a carrot up your arse.

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"So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts"

- Bloodhound Gang

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Really...? Perhaps it's best that I don't ask exactly where you've been storing your, erm... family jewels...

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"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
-Yasir Arafat on religious wars