Flare Sci-Fi Forums: When it rains...

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Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Some of you all may have noticed that my posts have become more sporadic and well, halfhearted, at least in the flameboard, over the past few days. Here's why:

On Friday, while I was at her house talking to her, my gf suffered some kind of massive siezure. Whole-body convulsions, foaming at the mouth, biting the tongue, all of that.

The local hospital sent her to a farther-off facility for better care, and I've been visiting her. On Saturday she was worse, and on Sunday, worse still... almost totally unresponsive, and didn't seem to recognize me at all. Not eating or drinking, just staring into space.

Yesterday, she seemed to be getting a bit better, possibly due to the potassium drip the hospital finally gave her. But they STILL don't know what caused the siezure in the first place. And she can't take any of her regular medications, for fear of a repeat siezure.

Today, I learned that she's doing better, speaking rationally, but has checked herself in to their psychiatric care unit... I'm not sure what that's about, but I'm going to go and try to find out.

More updates, as my life either improves or falls apart, will follow.

This really fucking sucks.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Good luck on this, may the end be near and happy.
Jason

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Stupid bastards and religious freaks,
so safe in their castle keeps...

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

My prayers are with you and your girlfriend, whether they help or not.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

I do hope that it all gets better.

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Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit?
~C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

Ironic as it is that I'd pray for you, Rob...

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Pilot: You're sure they were Americans, eh?
Fraser: They were all wearing new boots, they were driving a Jeep Wrangler, and they carried big guns.
Pilot: Americans it is.
- "due South"

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Good luck first, you have a most difficult path.

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Sailing the Slipstream

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Everybody has their own problems now and then. I'm going through mine right now.

But in the end, I'm hoping that everything works out. Same goes for you, First.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

She's much improved now, and hopefully will be coming home soon.

Looks like the seizure was brought on my accidental overmedication, according to her hospital doctor.

She was still suffering from the aftereffects of the fall and concussion, so her sense of time was rather off, plus the Doc who prescribed her Demerol meant for her to take 1/2 pill every four hours, but the pharmacy wrote something that looked like 1-2 pills... so in the pain and confusion, she might have taken 4 times what she was supposed to. And Demerol overdoses give exactly those symptoms.

That's the upshot.

The downshot is that I'm now taking heat from my parents for 'being involved with a drug abuser' and someone whose medical condition makes her 'dependent.' we're going to be fighting about this a lot in the days to come, I'm sure.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Drug abuser? That's a terrible thing to say! Do your parents think anyone w/ an incurable medical condition ought to be executed, or something? Maybe everyone who isn't just like them needs to be removed from society? Take all the homeless people, sick people, those w/ mental and physical disabilities, &c., and dump them on the moon, or some such?

Maybe they ought to try having some debilitating condition thrust upon them and see how they like it. Assholes...

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"Yeah...apparently Sizer is very hard to say, so they replace it with 'Is Mr. Caeser home?'
Sometimes I'll say that no, he has, in fact, passed away.
'My apologies.'
'Oh, that's ok, I'm over it. Brutus is still a wreck though.'
Then I hang up."
-Simon Sizer on telemarketers, 1-Nov-2000

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited November 03, 2000).]

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

You think that's bad?

This is the same gf that had been abused as a small child by her mother, who essentially 'sold' her to two guys down the street.

And during an argument a while back, my mother referred to her as an 'ex-prostitute.' The idiot can't see that there's a difference between doing something WILLINGLY and being FORCED into it.

And they were MAD AS HELL the one night, while they were away, and she stayed over ON THE COUCH, because we were both too tired and ill for me to drive her home, because of "the appearance it could give people."
WHAT APPEARANCE?? We live in the COUNTRY! Our nearest neighbors are 1/4 mile away through the WOODS! Who's going to see, and who's going to CARE? I mean, her CAR wasn't even there.

I tell you what, I KNOW who's fucking codependent around here, and it isn't Julie.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

Some parents...

Anyway, I'm glad she's feeling better.

BTW, First, I need to interview you for a project I'm doing. I'd prefer a real-time venue, but I know you don't have ICQ. Think you could get it, if just temporarily? If not, how 'bout IRC?

If you get ICQ, my UIN's 10928359. Just send an authorization request.

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Francesca: He was born on the tundra, that's where he belongs. You'll kill him if you take him to Toronto.
Thatcher: That's a bit drastic, don't you think?
Francesca: Look, I've been to Toronto. Trust me, nothing can survive there. - "due South"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Her mother sold her into prostitution? That's sad.

It's also sad your parents condemn you for being there for your girlfriend. Its also sad they think she's a drug abuser from an accidental overdose ... its just plain sad.

The "appearances" thing is really f-ed up too. In this day and age, who gives a rat's ass?

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Gore/Lieberman 2000
***
I'll hug your elephant if you'll kiss my ass.
***
"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." - George "Dubya" Bush

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited November 03, 2000).]

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Gee, I guess I better be removed from society, I am hair challanged...... LOL

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Stupid bastards and religious freaks,
so safe in their castle keeps...

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

I'm beginning to think that Rob's parents could use... a boot to the head!

*whiss*

*THUNK*

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

If my parents ever did anything like yours, First, I'm fairly certain I'd never speak to them for the rest of my life...

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Y'know what? After a few minutes of thought, I've realized something. The idea that your girlfriend's mother sold her into prositution as a child makes me incredibly sad and cynical. But the fact that your parents could, on top of everything, blame your girlfriend for it... that's nearly making feel physically ill. I think you've convinced me that your parents are two of the most worthless creatures to ever walk this planet.

No offense toward you, of course. My utter disgust is directed solely at them.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

LOL, Ritten, you know what I meant!

Hell, I found a half-naked girl asleep on my porch last week ... of course, living in a party apartment complex, that would only "help" how people view me, so that's not a bad thing ...

But I meant "appearances" as in First's GF spending the night. Unless the neighbors are ultra-religious, I don't see why they'd even care. I mean, do your parents think they've got the place under surveillance?

Martha: "Oh, Howard, look, their no-good son has his girlfriend over ... break out the bible!"

Howard: "Where are the night vision goggles? I want some popcorn, too."

Martha: "Grab the videocamera. We'll show this to the Reverand and he can banish them to hell..."

Ahhhh ... no ...

I think your folks need a smackin'

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Tim's right. That sort of pig-ignorance is ahrd to believe, and even harder to tolerate. Lord knows how you managed not to be an arsehole First (well, not much of one

) but I'm surprised you even still talk to them.

I hope Julie recovers soon.

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"If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move." - Spike, BtVS

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

My mother said: "Every time you two have problems, she gets sick".. implying that she's using illness to manipulate me.

YEAH.

I tell you what, anybody who can fake it THAT well, to the tune of biting one's tongue open and lying semiconscious for four days straight, deserves an academy award.

So, yesterday morning before I left for work, I challenged my mother to come up with TWO examples in which that was the case, with the additional criteria that she not be mixing up cause and effect (in other words, I admit that Julie and I have had problems when she was sick, because she can get irrational when she's ill... as can most people I know). She had all day, while I was gone, to think of only two.

And when I got home...

Not one word. Like the conversation had never happened. Not a single line of anything in defense. In fact, they weren't even home until 3 hours after I got home, and still no word about it.

It's a cold war.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

The wind...when it speaks is says *menendez*...

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Equality, Cooperation & Benevolence.

Vote Communist Party of America 2000.

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

As my sig says....

Stupid bastards and religious freaks
So safe in their castle keeps
Turn away as a mother weeps
Under the gun
Deep Purple

In this case it is as a child weeps.

First, you have my admiration on the way you are able to deal with all of these things, and not be an ass. Also, I don't think that I have ever told someone congratulations on not learning from their parents.

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Stupid bastards and religious freaks,
so safe in their castle keeps...

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

Your parents suck, man.

Or at least your mom. You havn't mentioned your dad's take on things.

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

"my mother referred to her as an 'ex-prostitute.' The idiot can't see that there's a difference between doing something WILLINGLY and being FORCED into it."

Classic case of "blaming the victim." 'Course, most of the time it comes out as "she asked for it" instead of "ex-prostitute." Your parents criticize her out of fear for you, but that's no excuse.

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"The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
--Albert Eistein

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Well, it's rough.
In fact, I almost DID give up that last Sunday. I mean, there she was staring at nothing, totally unresponsive, and I'm like "what if she STAYS like that?" I don't know that I could have handled that AND stayed sane. I thank whatever Gods there are that she didn't. When I came in the next day, and she recognized me, I cried.

I spent most of my life repressing emotions. I didn't even cry when my grandmother, my favorite person ever, passed. But I cried then. It felt good.

They're letting her go now. I'm taking her home tomorrow.

The upshot is, while in the hospital for all this, she also went off of some of her medicines (including Fioricet (sp?) which is a kind of narcotic for pain, and was the biggest cause of problems with her doctors), and discovered how some of them were actually hampering her health rather than aiding it. She's also off Adavan (a anxiety medicine) and now on Prozac (which her doctor assured me is not as bad as sensationalist TV makes it out to be) and is more cheerful than I've seen her in a LONG while, despite the fact that she still hurts. So it's not all bad.

How does my dad feel? Well, he's kind of stuck in the middle between my mother and me. He's a moderating influence, at least I can discuss things calmly with him.. when I'm not already too angry. But to be honest, he doubts my ability to care for someone else as well... and he does have somewhat of a point, given some of my past history. Bit this is more different that either of them have realized yet. I'M different than I was.

Oh, Inspiring songs, eh? If you can, get ahold of a copy of Linda Eder's "Children of Eve." It's not so much inspiring as... emotionally provoking, but I'd reccomend it to anyone.

(two excerpts)

All the Children of Eve sleeping somewhere tonight
Dream of days when the shadows are gone
All the Children of Eve say a prayer every night,
Praying there'll be no Dragons at dawn...

Not all Children of Eve sleep in peace every night,
Not all nightmares are over by dawn,
When the Children of Eve become Dragons and fight,
Then the whole vicious circle goes on...

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

I like that.

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"The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
--Albert Eistein

Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :

Unsolicited (and likely unwanted) suggestion.

After 15 years with the woman my parents treated only slightly better than the above....someday it can work out. I know that sounds unreal at this point but parents have a way of changing definitions to meet their needs. You'll never forget but you *may* forgive them...(end dorky motivational segment)

My suggestion: You and your gf find someone who isn't going to judge you and talk with them - counselor, doctor, priest, whatever. What with your folks and (oh help us) HER MOTHER!, her illness, etc. you two need to have somewhere you can go and get some support. If she's on Prozac then making it someone with some experience with that is a very good idea.

I don't want to sound like Ann Landers (especially since you didn't ask for it) but, it would have made the first 5 of those 15 years a lot easier to live if we'd done this.

The important thing is that you have each other and that she gets through this!!

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

and now on Prozac (which her doctor assured me is not as bad as sensationalist TV makes it out to be)

Keep an eye on her. I've seen someone cut their wrist while on Prozac. Prozac wasn't the only problem, but she never tried to hurt herself otherwise.

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Sailing the Slipstream

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

TK:

First o' Two talking to a priest? Oh, that's hilarious.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

She has a counselor already. We've both seen her, and will continue to see her.

Both her mother and the men who abused her are dead, and have been since quite a while before I started seeing her. If they were not... they would be, anyway. Some people, the death penalty isn't harsh enough for.

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"Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ty Kwan Leap. Approach me, that you might see." -- The Master