Flare Sci-Fi Forums: For those of you who believe in the theory of evolution... :)

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Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

Warning: do not read if you find these kind of jokes offensive

The Story.

Eve is bored to death in Paradise. She also happens to have a libido that even 10,000 rabbits would be jealeous of, so she turns to Adam. He, however, fakes a headache to avoid having to satisfy Eve's needs.

Frustrated, Eve sets out on a quest to find an alternative source of pleasure. All of a sudden, she stumbles upon a hurd of dinosaurs... the "size" of these animals attracts her, so she frantically
tries to catch up with the fleeing beasts, hoping to grab one for some stimulating actions.

They manage to outrun her though (barely), but in their fear none of them spot the deep ravin they approach, and they all drop dead (literally).

Far from pleased, Eve tries her luck again on a group of babboons. Alas, these creatures see no pleasure in Eve's attempts either and make a run for safety as well. But this time, one babboon is not so fortunate. Eve struggles and grabs a slow primate by its butt-hair, yet it can tear itself free (losing all its "coverage" in the process).

Disappointed, Eve decides to use her final option: the river flowing nearby. With extreme skill, she plucks a fish out of the water and inserts it in her caverns of desire. Several moments (and very much releaved) later, she throws it back into the stream.

So, what has this tought us?

1). We know why and how dinosaurs went extinct.
2). We know why babboons have bald behinds.
3). We will never know what oder clung to fish before
Eve's creation.

(ok, it is funnier in Dutch, translating the exact jokes is difficult )

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

LOL....

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by USS Vanguard (Member # 130) on :

funny but...eeewwwwwwww.

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"Life sucks, then you die"

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

*lmao*
That was good, even if it wasn't in Dutch.

Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :

I think I going to die laughing. That is a good one.

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Death before Dishonor!
However Dishonor has
quite a disputed defintion.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Nah, rather from a 32-day orgasm. (Little steve Martin injoke there)

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Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

I'd rather go for a 48 hour one. Greedy, ain't I?

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Remind me never to purchase a Dutch jokebook.

"Hey man! Guess why monkeys cycle? Vagina!"

"Har har! Super golden prize!"

Or so I imagine.

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I will shout until they know what I mean.
--
Neutral Milk Hotel
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! Then, go insane!

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

"Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho."

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

There was a young lady from Venus, who's body was shaped like a...

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

...an hourglass?

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Errr...

It was a dirty limerick that Data started to recite in "The Naked Now" but Picard cut him off. So use your imagination on how it ends. *L*

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Wow. Didn't think they'd have the guts.

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Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

*sighs* Yes, Yes, I know about the dirty limerick that Data recited and yes I knew that her body was shaped like a penis when I saw your post the first time round. I was just being sarcastic when I posted earlier.

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima