Flare Sci-Fi Forums: When I thought I'd be getting screwed for prom...

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Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

...I didn't think I'd be getting screwed like this!

Okay, here's the story.
About a month or more ago, the usual prom fiasco began. People started asking others to prom, girls started shopping for dresses and paying extravagant prices for them.

Myself, being the introverted dumbass that I am, planned on asking someone, but waited to see if they would ask me istead. For those of you that are laughing at my pathetic powers, I take the time to remind you that my pathetic powers are more powerful than your pathetic powers.

This of course was a bad idea. My former girlfriend, whom had dated about two years ago, decided to ask me to the prom instead. Reluctantly, I accepted.

Now this in itself raised some morale questions. She is engaged to a marine whom had becoem a marine because he had nothing else going for him, and he wanted to pay for her way through college. My parents, being, of course, the all knowing godbrains with infinite wisdom and, apparently, authority, warned me that she may be using me to fool her disapproving parents into thinking she was dating me instead of ther fiance. *shrug* That of course doesn't matter now, as I will explain further.

So I felt sorry, and partially obligated to do a favor for her, so I forgot about asking the girl I was planning on asking. Big mistake.

Apparently my former girlfriends' marine soon-to-be husband is planning on returning in time to take her to the prom, leaving me without a date. She says they both want me to still go, however I know I'd be a third wheel, and, well... Some people can pull-off being a third wheel by providing the entertainment, but you all know by now that my sense of humor is... much to be desired.

Crap.

Crap!

"Okay," I thought, "switch to plan B!!"

Normally this means I could ask the girl I previously wanted to ask to prom. perfect. I ask her....CRAP!!

She already has a date.

CRAP! I felt like an omnipotent ethereal Cats was looming over me in spirit form, whispering in my ear "All your dates are belong to us!!"

And he was right!!

"Great," I thought, "that leaves me roughly two days to find a new prom date." Knowing my luck, and my friends' sense of humor, they would want to set me up with a chick that looks similar to a buffalo. I was right.

Believe me, I tried to get out of this date, pulling ever trick I knew out of my magical hat, but I eventually succumbed to the "she has nobody else to go with and she's my friend and it would break her heart..blah blah blah" deal. Crap.

So this raises the question which I have been struggling with, to go to senior prom and have a possibly bad time (there is the possibility that I could have a GOOD time...), or to stay home possibley regretting this for years to come?

I'm kind of needing a quick response, considering that I planned on giving the final response to this girl by tomarrow, so any wisdom you all have gained over the years is much appreciated.

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"Turn off every .sig!"

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I did not go to my prom, and do not really regret it.

However, you're going to get a lot of people posting here saying things like "Oh, proms are stupid! Don't go, it's all lame. It's much more fun to stay home and play The Sims. They can dance too, you know!"

Those people are wrong.

If you want to go at all, even just a tiny bit, then do so. You'll never have another chance.

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"Excuse me, Mr. Rampaging Killer? Why don't you put down the gun and take a look at this hand-held monkey? Does it not have clever little forepaws? It eats gum and sap!"
--
L. Fitzgerald Sj�berg
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and something pleasent will happen to you. Possibly involving syrup.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Whoa. It's like a John Hughes movie. . .

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

I'd hire an escort and take him...I mean her to the prom. Just kidding... This is your only chance to go so take it. I know that when my prom comes around, I'm going stag, only because I'm going to hook up with my friend's date that night. So what if you go by yourself...at least you can do whatever and dance and steal whoever's date.

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"When I said to get involved in the gay community, I didn't mean to sleep with everyone in it."
Michael_T

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Q1: Do you drink?

If the answer is Yes, see Question 2.

If the answer is No, start.

Q2: Are you old enough to drink?

If the answer is Yes, then get drink and get sloshed.

If the answer is No, then get someone else to get you the drink, then get sloshed.

Q3: Would you do her?

If the answer is Yes, then WHAZZUP!??!

If the answer is No, then drink until the beer goggles say otherwise (see also Q1) (see also Sloshed).

BTW, sloshed = merry drunk, not sick-to-the-tonsils drunk.

Q4: Do you cry?

If you need to think of your answer, that = Yes. And You = Q1.

I = great.

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I went to my junior prom, but my date fell through for my senior prom. Everyone wanted to know if my date for senior prom was older than my date for the junior prom (and she was), but I cancelled on going when she cancelled. ::shrug:: I still would've liked to see the expressions on the faces of the ... um ... "less tolerant" members of my class when I showed up with a black woman

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
I wouln't say that anyone who has ceased to post every time you rant has "realized that they couldn't win" Omega. It's more like "oh, great he comes Mr. conservative frontal lobotomy boy who only hits one note over and over and over and over..."
-Jay, July 15, 2000

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

And the backwards nature of the US continues to dissapoint (if not shock) when it's a big deal for some people for a white bloke to go to a prom with a black woman.

GA: I don't think the "drunk" approach would work for Antagy. He'd be the only person there. And, what with it being the US, if he got drunk, he'd either

a/ become a delinquent
b/ think that driving would be a really cool thing to do.
c/ become an addict, then spend the rest of this life telling us over and over and over again about how evil it is.

Apart from that, I'd agree with Sol. If you really don't want to go, then don't. However, if you think there's a chance you'll regret it, then definetely go. Even if you don't enjoy it, at least you'll have done it. And dissapointment is often far better than feeling "I wish I'd gone...".

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

On a side note, I thought that this thread title was "...geting screwed for porn". That would have been a much more fun topic.

[This message has been edited by PsyLiam (edited April 12, 2001).]

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Well, in defense, it was only certain members of my class who would've been pulling out white sheets. Coincidently, they drove pickup trucks and played country music too. I'm not saying there's any corrolation between racists and people who play country music and drive pickup trucks ('cuz my roomate does both and he's not racist. If he is, he's the only racist with black friends I know), but at Atholton High, there was a corrolation.

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Ahh, yes. Hicks. Hillbillies. Hill folk. Banjostrummers. A.K.A. my relatives? Don't think I am offended by reading that. hell, I'm offdended by them

Anyways, I think I'm going to invent a device that can create the effect that you're staring through your eyes drunk, but you never have to take a sip of liquor. Drunk'O'Vision, a super realistic pair of goggles that will, much like beer but twice as effective, get ugly people laid until the end of the next millenium.

I'll make millions.

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"Turn off every .sig!"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

"Beer. Getting ugly people laid since 1856."

Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :

*heh* "Less tolerant"... There are soooo many ways to shock one's peers. I went to my senior prom with a freshman -- wonderful girl, and still a good friend. Unfortunately, the actual PROM sucked such ass I am still amazed eight years later.

Year before? An entire country club, with the "dance floor" set up on the course near the clubhouse, good DJ, etc...

Year after? Hired Kiana Lodge -- beautiful split-log construction, awesome view out over the water, bonfire, good DJ, etc...

My year? Seattle Trade Center. Oo, yeah. Ugly concrete, fake plants, bad ice sculpture, bad DJ, etc...

*sigh*

--Jonah

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"It's obvious I'm dealing with a moron..."

--Col. Edwards, ROBOTECH

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Actually, Duff Gardens invented that device already, Antag. And it works wonders!!!!

As for the date: she looks like a buffalo? Hmm.... It all goes down to "How well do you know her?" And do the two of you respect each other? Does she have to be Anna Kournikova to qualify as a good date? If her dimensions are similar to an Orca, then I'd probably understand

Point is, it may not be as bad as you think. I know of a friend in a somewhat similar predicament (no date, set up with someone who "looks like a buffalo"). Now he's engaged to be married.

Don't take my advice literally, like I said, it may not be as bad as you think. You would probably do her a big favour and rise a few notches among the other girls and such.

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"In a completely unrelated news story, I have a date tomorrow night."
- Omega, in trying to explain why pigs are now flying, why Microsoft products are now working perfectly, hell freezing over, and George W Bush giving a flawless speech. 04/06/01, 12:17AM

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited April 12, 2001).]

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

"A blowjob is a blowjob, mate." --Nigel Watson

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Damn those morons at Duff gardens!!

Anyways, she doesn't really look like a buffalo, it's just that is what animal happened to enter my mind at the time of that writing, so I likened her to it.

Hell, I'd liken Lee to a platypus or Liam to a giraffe if I just happen to think of it while describing them to somebody. Don't even get me started on likening Frank as a member of the animal kingdom, I've decided long ago what he would be, and this wasn't by random generation by my brain.

As to what exactly he would be, I'll not mention as to irritate him if he ever comes back from that place he calls the "Wedge" and decides to socialize with is again.

As I sit here in class, sleep deprived and waiting for my day to end (that is what it usually consists of - waiting for it to end - how pathetic, I know this only too well) I wonder why I needed to post this here for you all to read. Really I think I was trying to give myself and excuse to not go, because as some, or none of y'all may know, if it isn't perfect I don't do it, create it, want it, or think it up. In any case, maybe this time I'll settle for something less than ideal in my mind. I thank you all for your input.

...Now, if only you were all telepathically linked to my brain as to give me advice within a few sconds so you could sway every decision in my life.

I think I'll invent a device that doubles as the Drunk'O'Vision and the telepath-whateveryoucallit.

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"Turn off every .sig!"

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

"I've invented the world's first Fishmobaby Whirl-A-Ma-Gig! It'll be even bigger than the Badger Blaster!!" --Franklin Sherman

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

I skipped my prom because one of my friends asked out the girl I had a crush on before I had the chance to.

To add insult to injury, I was asked to videotape the prom parade (you know, when everybody shows off their outfit?) for posterity. So I got to watch them marching off to the prom together.

I got a sort of revenge, though, at my 5-year reunion. I asked a couple of female friends I had in grad school (buddy friends, you know, the kind who you go out drinking with knowing you have absolutely NO chance of scoring with them) to go with me. Naturally, we couldn't resist hamming it up.

So there I was, with a fairly attractive girl on each arm, both dressed in the slinkiest dresses they could find, tossing the innuendoes around, pretty much ignoring the rest of the people and turning the whole affair into a rub-fest (I have some LOVELY pictures).

GOD, did people STARE!

One of my friends told me after the party that one of my classmates came up to her and asked "What are you doing with HIM?" And she repllied "It's the sex, baby, nothing but the sex."

Ohm I wish I had had the nerve to try that again for my 10th!

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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

My prom is ages away(well from my point of view) I'm in the first quarter of my second year at high school, and unless the worst thing in the world happens, I break up with the girl I'm dating (I beleive she is my soul mate, trust me, it's a one in a billion thing we have) I'd either commit suicide while thinking my life has no meaning, or get stoned a lot and find someone else. I wouldn't skip my prom, because I fail to see how I could not have a date for it, but if I didn't I'd still go, hoping that I can hook up with someone there)

PS. Best part is, if I stay with the girl I'm dating I get two proms in a row, she's one year younger than me

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

"I beleive she is my soul mate, trust me, it's a one in a billion thing we have"

When do teenagers have anything else?

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Infinity, not to be sore on ya, but sooner or later you'll regret saying that.

Been there, done that. Many, many years ago.

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

On my returning from the dead I would say that you should go, for you can always leave if things start going badly. If you don't go you won't have the chance to leave.

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

WELCOME BACK, RITTEN!

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

THANKS!!

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

Go to your prom. TRUST ME, if you don't you'll regret it.... I say that because you've made it pretty clear that you want to go, at least on some level.... and FYI, I had the same type of situation come up with my prom (different, but same result, I guess.....) and so I ended up going with a guy I never wanted to go with, who I barely knew, and who I didn't even find out was taking me until 3 hours before the prom began.... but you know what? I HAD A BLAST! So go, hun... make the best of it.... you'll never get the same opportunity again.....

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

I didn't go to mine, and from what I heard, it wouldn't have mattered much anyways. Small school, it was held in the gym, lasted maybe 3 hours if that, then everyone left. I didn't have a date, wasn't popular (hickville around here, and I'm no hick) and in the end, I still felt I should've gone just to have been there even now (a few years later). It couldn't have been that bad... Go to it. The worst that can happen is you have a somewhat bad time and leave early and do whatever else you had planned, right? The best thing is you could get screwed for prom.

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I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she studied for a blood test.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Next up, on the BBC, Flare Forums, the next generation, staring Platypus Poet and GirLiam, with Frank the wonder dog.

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Witty Remark

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Can I be the smart-ass ensign that gets on everyone's nerves

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

You WANT to be Wesley Crusher?

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Well, I'm in my sophomore year of college, so I've had a couple years to regret not going to my prom, and, well... I don't. I would have hated it. I wouldn't have had a date, and I don't like social gatherings anyway. A room full of people I don't like, dancing? No thanks...

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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Just kidding, nobody would voluntarily be him, except maybe Icheb, who was slowly turning into him, except for his partial recovery in Q2 when we discovered that he does have a personality.

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

My debs were OK - I went with the girl I was goibng out with (strange, that

), I was broke, and I had to work the next day, so I couldn't get up to much mischief getting smashed.

Still had good crack though. Went to her debs then a few weeks later.

Defintely go. But "go" out of town and have a house to go back to afterwards for a party. OR ELSE...

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

So, Antag, what did you decide, and how did it go??

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by Fructose (Member # 309) on :

I didn't go to my proms. Not for lack of trying though. I just had bad luck with girls back then. But I did go to my then-girlfriend/now-wife's proms. (I'm two years older than her.) Unless you have some real party animal friends, I don't think you'll miss much. Prom itself isn't that exciting. It's everything that happens around it.

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It doesn't matter if you don't know what you're doing as long as you look good doing it.

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Vogon: (I have some LOVELY pictures)

Can we see?

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Buh? You got the wrong First. That was Fo2 who said that.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

No matter, we still wanna see the pics from whoever has them

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

shoot shoot shoot.

Never mind.

Infinity's right. Besides, his fiance will string him up like..... well, you get the message.