1). Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
2). Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
3). Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
4). Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
5). Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
6). Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
7). Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
8). Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
9). Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
10). Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
11). Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
12). Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.
13). Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
14). Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
15). Erap: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!
16). Miriam Defensor-Santiago: "Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"
17). Ramon Revilla: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang
kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road. Eh, di ko nakilo eh. I guess, takot syang pakilo. Baka kulang sya ng 96 grams. In short, kulang sya ng isang kilo."
18). Emma Lim: Para po uminom ng iced tea, your honor!
19). Chavit Singson: Eh, nililito nyo lang po ako, your honor. Di ko alam kung bakit nagcross yun ng road. Wala naman sa ledger ko kung bakit. Nililito nyo lang po ako. Nililito nyo lang po talaga ako.
20). Clarissa Ocampo: It crossed the road to go to the office of, I am sorry, Mr. Estelito Mendoza.
21). Estelito Mendoza: Whether I will quit as a defense lawyer of the president or not, shall depend upon the decision of the president himself, not the crossing of the road by the chicken.
22). Raul Roco: It is a noble profession to be a chicken and to cross that road!
23). Chief Justice Hilario Davide: Unless there is an objection, the chicken can cross that road.
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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"
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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan
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Signatures are for losers
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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park
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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"
-Nimrod 16/4/2001
)------------------
"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"
-Nimrod 16/4/2001
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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.
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Signatures are for losers
It is a nice car, though.
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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond
My bad------------------
"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"
-Nimrod 16/4/2001
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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."
-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.
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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan
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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"
-Nimrod 16/4/2001
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"No, 3 & 6 are mandatory, so you only have to do them if you want"
Alex, fellow classmate, trying to explain an assignment (2/2/01)
Math Teacher: "What car is that, Ryan?"
Dude in Math Class, apparently: "'Ats a Vantage Bitch. You'd fuck your own mother to get one...oh shit, you're the teacher. Aw fuck. I'd better not get suspended."
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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."
-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.
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"No, 3 & 6 are mandatory, so you only have to do them if you want"
Alex, fellow classmate, trying to explain an assignment (2/2/01)