A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead were all talking about their teenage daughters.
The Brunette says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a pack of cigarettes. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she smoked."
The Redhead says, "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she drank."
Then the Blonde speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis."
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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
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"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
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Card-Carrying Member of the Flare APAO
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.
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"I don't poke my head into business world too much. All I care about is making the show. And naked stuff."
- Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"
3 survivors of a ship wreck got stranded on a island in the middle of no where. This group of survivors is made up by 3 blondes.
Keep in mind that this is a small island with limited resources, so of course we can assume that these blondes ain't gonna live too long without the daily essential.
But luckly enough, the blondes somehow manage to find a magic lamp right on the shore of the island, and of course, their first reaction is to rub the lamp.
Surely enough, a genie came out and decided to grant one wish for each blonde.
The first blonde ask to be turned into a redhead, and right after she got turned into a redhead, she came up with a plan to construct a raft and escape from the island.
The second blonde ask to be turned into a brunette, and like the redhead, right after she got turned into a brunette, she came up with a plan to build a helicopter, and escape from the island.
"Well, I guess I don't really have any choice left," said the last blonde to the genie, "I guess I can only ask to be turned into a man."
"But what kind of man?" asked the genie.
"I guess any kind will do." answered the last blonde.
"Your wish has been granted!" said the genie, and surely enough, the last blonde was transformed into a man.
So dear readers, guess what did the man do to escape this horrible island???
He walked across the bridge that connected the island to the the mainland!!
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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.
[This message has been edited by BlueElectron (edited May 17, 2001).]
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�
Perhaps it was a blonde man?
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"And as it is, it is cheaper than drinking."
-DT on arguing with Omega, April 30
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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #10
Where's all that fucking water coming from? - Captain of Titanic
Sorry, 'twas only a matter of time.
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"Babies haven't any hair;
old men's heads are just as bare;
between the cradle and the grave
lies a haircut and a shave."
Samuel Hoffenstein
it should be "across" as some of you may have already pointed out, instead of "around".
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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.
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Quintesson 1: "It is a day so long in coming that I am uncertain how to celebrate it."
Quintesson 2: "Perhaps a quiet chuckle..."
Quintesson 1: "Very well, then. Let us... chuckle."
Quintessons: "Hehehehe..."
-The Transformers, "Five Faces of Darkness, part 3"
The ULITIMATE blonde joke!!
A blonde wants to call her mom in Ghana (bear with me, first country that popped into my head), so she goes to Bell (canadian phone company) and she asks the guy how much it would be to place a call to Ghana. He tells her 600 dollars(don't nitpick over realism, it's a joke) So she tells him that she doesn't have any money, but she'd do anything to make that call. He says to her: "Anything? Come with me to the next room."
So she goes there, and he tells her to stand infront of him and get on her knees. He then unzips his pants and pulls out his penis. He says to her: "You know what to do.."
So she grabs his penis with one hand, gets her mouth close to it, and then she says: "Hi mom, it's me!"
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Phasers
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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"
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"We have to get drunk immediately."----Gattaca
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"Babies haven't any hair;
old men's heads are just as bare;
between the cradle and the grave
lies a haircut and a shave."
Samuel Hoffenstein