The infamous Charles Capps is being prosecuted for charges relating to the changing of Flare. The specific charges have not been announced as of yet. Flare is a popular web site that SciFi fans post at and is located at flare.solareclipse.net. It would seem that Mr.Capps allegedly changed the format of Flare without announcements or input from the members. The local law enforcement was contacted when rioters formed a protest outside of Mr.Capps home. After a short investigation, Mr.Capps was placed under arrest. He was later released on bond and is awaiting trial. Mr. Capps claims to be innocent and plans to enter a plea of 'not guilty'. He declined to comment further. Pre-Trial selections will begin today and should wrap up by Friday.
Okay, now that the announcement has been made, we are taking volunteers. We need a prosecuting attorney, a defense attorney, and jury members. I'm the judge.
*Note: TSN has been recommended to participate. TSN please step up and accept or decline. If you accept, which position would you prefer? You have first choice.*
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I shall be the GRAND INTERROGATOR!
BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
FEAR ME, MR. CAPPS!!!
Whoa... Too much caffeine...
Posted by The_Evil_Lord (Member # 256) on :
What, no Executioner position? Shame.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Siegfried: I should be the grand interrogator since I created the interrogation of Charles Capps. And the Interrogator should also be the Executor.
Either that or I'd like to be the Prosecutor. More legal mumbo jumbo as to Warrants, Miranda Decisions, Motions, evidence suppressions, etc......
Posted by JeffKardde (Member # 411) on :
I would like to say -- simply for the benefit of Charles -- that I have no knowledge of this, and I am not a member. Spare me in the "banning" fest sure to come.
On the other hand, at least Charles didn't initiate one of those stupid warning/bannings thingies. Those are just ridiculous.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Ah, a game! Why didn't I think of this?
I get to be the inexperienced public defender!
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
As for changes here, well, I seem to remember CC saying he was working on an upgrade, in some thread or another. Can't say I'm fond of all the white, but I can get used to it, over all, it looks pretty good.
Mr Chris: You haven't been with us long enough to know that this is nothing new. The forums have evolved from a WWW board (before I came here) to the earliest vversion of ubb(when I showed up) to verious servers, and color schemes (including an all red format) up to and including this latest version.
The one thing you can count on with CC is change.
(Hate the log in thing)
Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
I'll defend Charliechops
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
OK, so Jeff and I are the defense team.
Your honor, we intend to prove that this entire trial is a farce, and that the charges against our client, whatever they may be, are totally groundless.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Your Honour, in the interests of Justice, this trial must go ahead. The people have a right to ascertain the truth in this matter. Mind you, this was not the act of an administrator looking to rebuild the forums, but the act of a depraved madman attempting to violate the sacred bond and trust established between him and members of this community.
We will present evidence and call witnesses that will support the charges of a widespread conspiracy to mislead the Forum public, a fraud of massive proportions that it could not be ignored. We will present evidence that the defended knew about, planned, and ultimately carried his dastardly scheme to the horror of the unsuspecting forumites. In the end, it should be clear that such charges should not be treated with kidgloves, rather the defendant and perpetrator should be punished as harshly as possible.
Your honour, our duty and your duty is clear in this case. We must see this through to the end.
4 hours of straight Law and Order will do that to ya!!! :-D
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Are you actually going to charge him with anything? As much fun as this is *cough*, I, er, don't have an end to this sentence.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
We have just drafted a motion to amend the following charges against Charles Capps. They include
- Fraud in the first degree. - Grand Larceny in the first degree. - Conspiracy to commit fraud in the first degree.
Our detectives are continuing the investigation, and we have been informed that there may be other charges that will be amended to the indictment.
BTW, don't I get an assistant? It's getting lonely in here.... :-P
[ May 28, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
*Before I go on, I will point out that I am having fun with a lot of BS and pure fiction. I don't know case law, and People vs. Cormen is entirely a figment of my imagination, but I'm just faking stuff so just to jest at all this*
Your Honour, the people make a motion to revoke bail of the defendant. The forumites believe that the defendant poses a severe threat and a flight risk. Measures must be taken so that the probability of this is reduced. I cite case law People vs. Cormen, "the defendant may be held without bail if the people prove that there is sufficient grounds that the defendant is a significant threat to their community".
We therefore request that Charles Capps be remanded to the Custody of the Jurisdiction of Jubilee McGann.
[ May 28, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
:::raises hand & waves wildly::: I wanna be Mike Logan. Or Adam Schiff.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Naw, you're better off as Logan, Shik.
And I'll thwack anyone who tries to pass off as Jack McCoy.
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
Bail has been revoked. Baliff, take Mr.Capps into custody.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
*psst* your honour, aren't you supposed to hear the defense's counter argument first?
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
Well, if you insist... He should have never been granted bail to start with. The horror of it all!
Oh wait! I'm supposed to be neutral. Good thing we have a jury to decide his fate.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Erm... Shouldn't he be found not guilty, simply based on that fact that this update has been in the works for about as long as Flare has existed, and, not only did everyone know about it, but they constantly asked for it to happen as soon as possible?
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
*shhhht.... TSN, you're spoiling all the fun!!!! *
Posted by *InFiNiTy* (Member # 531) on :
Well, I don't want to be the one to point it out, but the defendant didn't even go to this thread, so it's kinda useless trying to put him in jail in it
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Then we shall try him in absentia.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Our detectives have informed us that there is sufficient evidence to support a charge of Conspiracy To Take Over The World. We have determined that this Flare incident is purely a front for his dastardly scheme for World Domination.
I have talked with my colleagues, and we have decided to temporarily drop the three smaller charges and to go with this bigger one. We have made the motion to amend the indictment.
We would like to begin Jury Selection as soon as possible.
[ May 28, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
Hmmm...So - Mr.Capps hasn't been attending. Sounds like a contempt charge to me.
Okay - Jury Selection begins. We are taking volunteers at this time. Please step up.
[ May 28, 2001: Message edited by: MsChris ]
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Motion to amend the indictment to include a contempt charge.
And where is the defense team? Hello?
Posted by TLE (Member # 280) on :
It's more proof he's guilty! He can't face the people.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Jury should be composed of people who haven't read or posted in this thread. . . which rules me out. Fuck.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Well, MsChris said that anyone could volunteer, we'd just grill ya like in the movies......
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
Grill us on what exactly? I wager our views on capital punishment, racism, and all sorts of the normal stuff are rather irrelevant on a BBS....
Posted by Isn't Infinity *G* (Member # 531) on :
I haven't read or posted in this thread before
Posted by DEAvendetta (Member # 447) on :
Nor have I... But, I'm selling some damn good hotdogs in the southeastern area of the courtroom - Right behind the witness seats.
------------------
There are no words to describe it's perfection, so I'm forced to make one up..DEAverification
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Give me a nice Polish Sausage with Bacon Bits, Cheese, Pickles, Olives, Ketchup, Mustard, and a dash of Barbeque sauce please?
Also, the office of the District Attourney of Flare has determined there is sufficient evidence to support an Attempted World Domination Charge. The D.A.'s office makes a motion to amend the indictment.
Does the defense care to object?
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
*stands up*
OBJECTION!
What EVIDENCE do you have of my client attempting to take over the world?
Posted by Jeff Kardde (Member # 411) on :
It's a well known fact. Maybe next you'll object to the sky being reffered to as blue? The sun yellow? No, no, the Pacific Ocean isn't salty!
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
We will provide evidence that the Changing of the Flare Forums was purely a front, and that it represents part of his plans to take over the world. We will also provide evidence that points to a past attempt at World Domination. Now if you'll excuse us, we must start Jury selection.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
You'll need witnesses... better subpoena Jubes.
I'll only testify under condition of immunity from any charges relating to MY conspiracy to take over the United States.
And if somebody buys me a Monster Burger combo. With Iced Tea.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Full, Complete, Immunity Granted
But as for your menu order, can't do anything about that.
[ May 29, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Nimrod (Member # 205) on :
Shouldn't Caesar Capps at least come out on the balcony of this thread and pope-wave at the crowd? The thread is in his honour...
ROMA INVICTA!!!!
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
Hmmm...MrCapps still is not attendance? That gives me the right to revoke bail - no objections by the defense necessary. Right?
Posted by Jay (Member # 19) on :
Speaking on behalf of the defense, but not ofically part of the defense team...I submit an amicus curiae brief.
If it please the court, Mr. Capps has not had not had yet been indicted offically. Nor has the District Attorney's Office filed the any specifics relating to the charges leading to the arrest and detainment of Mr. Capps.
This is, as I take it, a preliminary hearing taking note of whether Mr. Capps is to be bound over for trial. I would also take the time to remind the Court that as an American citizen, Mr. Capps has right and immunities layed out in the 5th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States and justice demands that Mr. Capps be allowed a full and equal hearing which would include a and specific indictement by the prosecution.
To elimiate bail at this point in the proceeding is prejudical against Mr. Capps as he is entitled to consideration under the 8th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States:
quote:Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted
Revocation bail at this time would be outside the bounds of an impartial hearing by this Court. Mr. Capps has been arrested and has apparently had a bail hearing subsequent to his release from jail on bond.
Mr. Capps is represented by council which should be adequate at this point in the proceedings. His presence not having been specifically called for by the Court, Mr. Capps need not appear before Court on this matter at this time.
Should the Court find for a reconsideration of bail, we would remind the Court of Mr. Capp's status as a leading citizen of the the Seattle area and of the fact that there have been no appempts made to flee from the jurisdiction of this Court. He is quite simply a productive member of society and not a flight risk.
I thank the Court for its time and consideration.
[ May 29, 2001: Message edited by: Jay ]
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
The word is spelled "indict", not "indite".
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Thank you for your concern, Jay, but the District Attourney's office was never notified on the particulars of bail, nor was it given a chance to participate in Mr. Capps' Bail Hearing. We have made the motion to revoke Mr. Capps' bail based on this and based on the fact that he poses a significant threat to the entire world. Mr. Capps' prior attempt at world domination should be a sign that the defendant should be held without bail not only for the safety of the people, but for his own safety as well. I cite People vs (??????) in which "the defendant can be held without bail if there is evidence that he/she may be subject to harm from society in any form of reprisal".
As for the formal Indictments, they have been processed and sent to Mr. Capps' Defense team. As you may know, the charges are Conspiracy to take over the World and Attempted World Domination. We are also processing a charge of Posession of Illegal Sheep to be added to the indictment.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
May it please the court, I will be representing the sheep in this and all subsequent civil or criminal procedings.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
I'm making a motion to have the sheep severed from this trial. They will be tried separately.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Your honour, I object! My clients are the victims in this matter! They are prepared to provide testimony in all the matters currently before this court!
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
We have evidence that the sheep were in fact part of Mr. Capps's plan for World Domination. The sheep willingly and knowingly participated in his plan without regard for the consequences. As a result, the sheep will also be tried, but in a separate trial.
If the sheep are willing to testify against the defendant, Mr. Kelly, then perhaps the District Attourney's office is willing to look at a lighter sentence.
Has the Jury been chosen yet? I am ready with opening statements.
[ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
This is victimization, pure and simple! Counsel has not provided any evidence of complicity; indeed, he may even be deliberately withholding such information. I demand he be held in contempt pending release of this essential evidence. I would further ask the court for a stay in procedings to examine the evidence, should it in fact exist.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Your Evidence will be submitted to you shortly. This will include pictures, as well as witness statements identifying Mr. Capps as the leader of this uprising. You will find that you only have two choices: testify against Mr. Capps, or be tried together with Mr. Capps.
As you can see, only testifying against Mr. Capps is the only right thing to do, Mr. Kelly.
Also another thing, Mr. Kelly. Your name is on my list of witnesses in the trial against Mr. Capps. I suggest you distance yourself from your clients, and be prepared to participate in the trial.
Sorry Lee, but I've got plans to make a case against our Glorious Leader. :-D. Contact me via PM if you want to know whom I'm talking about.
[ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
(Sheep in unison) DDAAAADDDYYY!
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Okay, Okay. . . just let me say what I wanted to say (the whole point of getting involved in this):
"You honour, I object! Counsel is barbecuing the witness!" 8)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I can't believe that you were saucy enough to make that joke, Lee.
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
*polishes grill, prepares garnish and spice*
Whaddya Talking about?
Clarification, Lee. I think that you are still allowed to represent your clients PROVIDED that the cases are severed. So, in order to still represent your client when you'll be subpoenaed, it'll be better off if the cases are severed.
In the meantime, the motion to barbeque the witnesses will come AFTER the case is closed.
[ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
In which case, with the court's permission I shall withdraw to prepare the marinade, er, case.
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
Mr.Kelly, It would appear that you are a hostile witness. In regards to that, the sheep will be tried seperately - due to a conflict of interest. But of course, if you would like to consider the offer that the prosecution has presented....
*whispers to Baliff* Have you seen my carving knives?
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Your honor, the defence has decided to waive the right to a trial by jury. We will accept your personal decision as legally binding.
*sniffs*
Ooh, lamb chops? Might I?
*CHOMP*
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
*munchmunchmunch*
I'd like to propose a solution.
*munchmunchmunch*
I would like to make a motion on making the General Population of the Forums the Jury.
*munchmunchmunch*
Not all have to participate, we just need to open a thread to gather opinions and make a verdict.
*munchmunchmunch*
I hope this solution is one that will satisfy everyone.
*munchmunchmunch*
*munchmunchmunch*
*munchmunchmunch*
Psst. Don't cook them all, I still need a couple of them for witnesses.
Posted by Jeff Kardde (Member # 411) on :
Tahna, you just ate my cat.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Oh, well, no great loss if there are no sheep left, all I could get out of them in terms of a plea was "BAAAAAAAAAA" anyway. I was attempting to educate them in the difference between "BAAAAAAAAAA" and "Not BAAAAAAAAAA" but without much success.
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
quote: I would like to make a motion on making the General Population of the Forums the Jury.
Granted!
Will both sides please prepare their opening statements. Court will recess until tomorrow morning (whatever time I post the new thread for the trial). Court adjourned!
Someone please pass a toothpick.
Oh and give Tahna a barf bag - No feline remains on the floor please!
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
No Need.
I like Cats, they taste like Chicken!!!
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
You... all.. have... WAY.. too... much.. time... on.. your.. hands....
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Is that an official statement in your defense, Charles? A reminder that You have the right to remain silent, and anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of Law.
And now that you have said it, we will be sure to use it against ya. You'd best be listenin' to your "inexperienced public defenders" ....
Posted by The_Evil_Lord (Member # 256) on :
That sounded like an accusation to me. May I remind CC that he is on trial here? Defense and jury will therefore ignore his last remark.
Posted by MsChris (Member # 445) on :
*rubs chin*
Hmmmm......
*makes mental note of the dots between each of Mr.Capps' words. Inconsistant! Shows signs of instability - must consider a mental evaluation.*
Hmmm...Wha-What? Too much time? Whatever gives you that impression?
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
OH!!! I wanna be one of those judges from the movie 'Judge Dread!' I get to wear that funky costume, PLUS I get to be judge, jury, AND executioner.
MIB: You are charged with making extensive changes to this forum without warning! The sentence is 5 years in prison. How do you plead?
CC: Not guilty!!!
MIB: I knew you'd say that.
LOL
[ May 31, 2001: Message edited by: MIB ]
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
If I may pass word on to Lee, I've found sheep to be quite uncooperative unless you tell them "the password". In your best Attenborough voice, stand before them and recite: Baaa Ram Ewe! Baaa Ram Ewe! To your flock, to your fleece, to your clan be true! Sheep be true! Baaa Ram Ewe!
Well, it worked in the movie...
Posted by Daniel (Member # 453) on :
Oh my, I just saw this thread. Eesh, and I installed myself as an assisting justice quite without following procedure in the other one. Good Lord, I seem to be going about things all wrong today for some reason. Well, I hereby officialy censure myself for flouting the conventions of Flare as previously ordained by the Honorable MsChris. *humbly apologetic* MsChris, do with me as you please.