This is topic !*@#X! in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 

!*@#X!


 
Posted by targetemployee (Member # 217) on :
 
I observe an euphemism for a swear word. What is the reason for this swearing, Malnutured Snay?
 
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
Multiplied at Number X?

It's a government conspiracy! Quick, get MIB!
 


Posted by Mojo Jojo (Member # 256) on :
 
I feel this is the perfect thread to complain about certain recent issues that have arisen here, at Solar Eclipse.

I would like to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a macabre agenda. In the text that follows, when I quote from Flare Sci-Fi Forums, I will use the word "excrement" in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications, and which I have edited out. Flare Sci-Fi Forums extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice.

There are some simple truths in this world. First, you should think of this letter as a clarion call for us to shoo Flare Sci-Fi Forums away like the annoying bug that it is. Second, Flare Sci-Fi Forums wants a central organization for its international world swindle, endowed with its own sovereign rights and removed from the intervention of other countries -- a haven for petty anthropophagi and a university for budding surly, unscrupulous saboteurs. And finally, to get even the simplest message into the consciousness of blasphemous manipulators of the public mind, it has to be repeated at least 50 times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following 50 times, but Flare Sci-Fi Forums somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (black is white and night is day), distortions (it is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative), and misplaced idealism (the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "disadvantageousness".

While some information provided by Flare Sci-Fi Forums's understrappers may be factual, other material is unsubstantiated rumor or vainglorious fairy tales. Because we have the determination to see the truth prevail, we must never forget that an organization that wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of its obiter dicta. Flare Sci-Fi Forums has never had that faculty. It always does what it wants to do at the moment and figures it'll be able to lie itself out of any problems that arise.

Pardon my coarse language, but Flare Sci-Fi Forums likes to compare its machinations to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them. Flare Sci-Fi Forums's intimates are unbridled at best, the downfall of society at worst. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that Flare Sci-Fi Forums's declamations prevent smallpox. This belief is due to a basic confusion, which can be cleared up simply by stating that if you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Flare Sci-Fi Forums would promote promiscuity and obscene language. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Flare Sci-Fi Forums could have made the same prediction. Does Flare Sci-Fi Forums actually think its arguments through, or does it just chug along on its computer writing about whatever trite ethics happen to suit its needs that day? I ask, because Flare Sci-Fi Forums's writings exhibit a disregard, not merely for style, but for the truth. Now that's a rather crude and simplistic statement, and, in many cases, it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it unquestionably expresses how if Flare Sci-Fi Forums can't stand the heat, it should get out of the kitchen.

In the past, I've said that I surely suspect that we need to do more to draw an accurate portrait of Flare Sci-Fi Forums's ideological alignment. Were I to make such a generalization today, it would contain a few "weasel words" -- an escape hatch or that indispensable cliche that all of the anxious sighing, longing, and hoping of Flare Sci-Fi Forums's heart is directed to a time when psychotic ogres can spread hatred, animosity, and divisiveness. But because the union of theory and practice, in Flare Sci-Fi Forums's hands, becomes a union of pomposity and fascism, I am not ready to retract my conviction or to recant error. Flare Sci-Fi Forums truly believes that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. I hope you realize that that's just a beer-guzzling pipe dream from a sententious, gruesome pipe, and that in the real world, Flare Sci-Fi Forums's utterances are built on lies, and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. To state it in a more sophisticated manner, just because Flare Sci-Fi Forums and its functionaries don't like being labelled as "perfidious cretins" or "brutal liars and cheats" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit.

If Flare Sci-Fi Forums feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself. As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that Flare Sci-Fi Forums's supporters will curry favor with insane simpletons using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their "value," their "importance," their "educational mission," and other crude nonsense, sometime soon.

Although it's easy to sit in the press box and criticize, many people who follow Flare Sci-Fi Forums's claims have come to the erroneous conclusion that the average working-class person can't see through Flare Sci-Fi Forums's chicanery. The truth of the matter is that it says that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. By toning down its commentaries, many more people are exposed to Flare Sci-Fi Forums's slovenly, sanctimonious message, convinced by its passion, and seduced by its simplistic answers to complex social problems. If Flare Sci-Fi Forums has any children, I recommend that it teach them about love, trust, cooperation, community, reason, negotiation, and compromise rather than violence, paranoia, and fear. Quite simply, I've tried explaining to Flare Sci-Fi Forums's disciples, who are legion, that Flare Sci-Fi Forums enjoys the sense of control that comes from forcing someone else to do things the way it wants them done, but it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. Every concert that Flare Sci-Fi Forums attends rapidly degenerates into a free-for-all of slam dancing and scattered fistfights. What are the lessons for us in this? First, it's that faced by such despicable perfidy and the frustration of not being able to respond to the same audiences as it has had, I must certainly call for a return to the values that made this country great. And second, I find that some of its choices of words in its perorations would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted "destructive" for "physicophilosophical" and "uncontrollable" for "galvanocauterization."

Perhaps if Flare Sci-Fi Forums thought about it, it'd realize that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did its reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "Why do we put up with it?" I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that it is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks. As soon as Flare Sci-Fi Forums's vicegerents confuse, disorient, and disunify, they will have destroyed the basis for their own existence, as if it made any difference. Unless we convince the government to clamp down hard on Flare Sci-Fi Forums's pleas, our whole social structure will gradually disintegrate and crumble into ruins. Don't kid yourself: I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "It seems a bit late in the day for Flare Sci-Fi Forums to promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way, but rather, because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that it is not only immoral, but amoral. It would be nice to say that duplicitous, frightful immoralism doesn't exist anymore, but we all know that it does. Flare Sci-Fi Forums practically breaks its arm patting itself on the back when it says, "It takes courage to go down into the muddy trenches and do the entire country a grave disservice." As if that were something to be proud of.

The brutish nepotism in Flare Sci-Fi Forums's jeremiads is not always explicit. But the problems with Flare Sci-Fi Forums's put-downs don't end there. Flare Sci-Fi Forums's off-the-cuff comments deserve to be criticized because they let down ladders which the maladroit, witless, and despicable scramble to climb. It may sound strange to Flare Sci-Fi Forums when I say that it is the most savage, condescending, and wayward waste of institutional material in our society, but I should note that I don't need to tell you that we can't let Flare Sci-Fi Forums enrich itself at taxpayer expense. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that if we don't soon tell Flare Sci-Fi Forums to stop what it's doing, it will proceed with its nit-picky warnings, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given Flare Sci-Fi Forums our permission to do so.

Apparently, Flare Sci-Fi Forums not only lies, but it brags about its lying to its expositors. Even giving Flare Sci-Fi Forums the benefit of the doubt, it managed to convince a bunch of unforgiving cutthroats to help it violate its pledge not to force us to tailor our treatises just to suit its power-hungry whims. What was the quid pro quo there? I mean, all the deals it makes are strictly one-way. Flare Sci-Fi Forums gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations. Isn't it historically demonstrated that one of the most mind-numbing mysteries for those of us who don't like Flare Sci-Fi Forums is trying to understand people who do? I ask, because if you want to hide something from it, you just have to put it in a book. And that, in my view, is our real problem.

[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Mojo Jojo ]


 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
*goes to talk*

*changes mind*

[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: PsyLiam ]


 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
Everyone around here has a "legend" built up around them.

For example, First of Two maintains a secret military facility under his library, and is planning on marching out on one day to sieze control of the U.S. and annoint himself "Dictator-in-Chief."

For me, it's that I'm a "Deer-Killer." That I'm single handedly responsible for keeping Maryland's deer population in check with the help of my Jeep.

Until last night, I'd only hit one deer. As legends grow, somehow people on Flare came to believe I'd hit about three (grrr).

Well, guess what happened last night?

I'm driving along Jerome Jay going back to the store after a delivery. 40 mph. Guess what runs across the road just as I'm passing?

Yep.

A bear.

No, just kidding. Would've been amusing, too.

No, no, a bunch of rabbits. Squish! Squish! Squish!

No, not rabbits.

A deer.

My right fender is completely mashed. It's like someone made a replica of it out of aluminum foil and then smashed it between two books. My insurance company is going to have a fit.

Stupid.

Fucking.

Deer.

Anyway.

Nice rant, Mojo. I think we all know you just found some political speech somewhere, and "cut and pasted" some stuff ... nice, though.

Anyway. Off to call the insurance ...
 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Funny.

I live in a high deer-traffic area, (herds actually cross just where my driveway meets the highway, we lose about 6 a year there from folks coming down or up the hill) and yet I've only had one near-miss, no impacts in 14 years of driving.

Helpful suggestions
1. Drive slower - No more than 45 in deer-probable areas.
2. Use high beams. You spot them sooner.
3. Get one of those deer-annoying whistle thingies you can mount on your car.
4. Quack like a duck.

Okay, that last one won't help. I just thought it'd be amusing to watch.
 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
quote:
Drive slower - No more than 45 in deer-probable areas.

Not likely. Deer like to run across the Capital Beltway and just about every major road they can find. I think I was going 40 or 45, actually.

quote:
Use high beams. You spot them sooner.

Of course, you can only use high-beams if you're the only car on the road. I did have them on last night. The first time I hit a deer, I didn't -- but then, there was opposing traffic.

quote:
Get one of those deer-annoying whistle thingies you can mount on your car.

Hmmmm.


quote:
Quack like a duck.

As opposed to quaking like a Liam?
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
*again goes to speak*

*again deceides against it*
 


Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
 
When did Mojo Jojo start channelling Gene Ray?
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
Maybe Mojo Jojo is Gene Ray!
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
That would explain a lot.

*somewhispers "not that Mojo Jojo Liam"*

Oh.

Then that explains nothing.
 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
So sorry.
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Harry:
Multiplied at Number X?

It's a government conspiracy! Quick, get MIB!


Calm down! Calm down. Never fear for I am here. *remebers that two-thirds of the Flare community is afraid of him* hmmmmm. This isn't gonna be easy. We must look at the evidence.

!*@#X!

The first exclamation point might be a symbol that tells us that the message has begun. The second one tells us that the message has ended. Between the 2 exclamation points are *@#X. I think this might mean "There is a STAR AT a constellation that looks like a number sign and this star is simply called X!" Granted, sense it's a constellation, it is quite obvious that there will be a star there, but let's ignore that fact.

How did our friendly naighborhood deer-killer know that one of the stars was simply named X? Did he check with a local planetarium? NO! HE'S AN ALIEN FROM A PLANET THAT ORBITS A STAR NAMED "X"!!!! He's also taking orders from Gene Ray! His mission on Earth is to kill off the deer population so that his kind can take over all the forests in the country!!!

From the unabomber-like shacks his kind will build
in the secluded forests, his own personal army will march into Washington D.C. and remove the president from power and insert himself into power!!! He will use his mighty deer-killing machines (A.K.A. Jeeps) to spread havok across the land! He will genetically engineer a virus to turn people into one of his kind! This project to turn people into aliens will probably be called "The Balck Oil Project." Of coarse, Humans, working on a project known as "Purity Control," will try to stop you be creating a vaccene. However, they might incounter 2 nosy FBI agents while doing this and these 2 agents might end up f**king things up for the Purity Control Project quite a bit. However, I think it's because those 2 FBI agents actually work for you, Jeff. YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

Of coarse. All of this is mere speculation.

P.S. My father killed 2 deer with his car and 1 on a motorcycle. He has three dead deer under his belt. Sense he killed more deer than you, doesn't that offically make him "The Deer Killer?" If so, that makes me *pauses for effect* The Son of the Great Deer Killer! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Be afraid! Be only slightly afraid!!!!

[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: MIB ]


 
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
 
I'm not afraid of you.. not since you posted your picture anyway.

However, I find your conspiracy theory interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

What legend has built up around me?
 


Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
I'd like to know myself. What legend has built up around me?
 
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
I have the legend of not being a legend...


 


Posted by Mojo Jojo (Member # 256) on :
 
That's a parodox, right?
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
A paradoxymoron...

BTW, there are Web sites that generate rants like that if you just give a name and tel whether the name is a "he", "she", or "it". I think that's where MJ probably got all that.
 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
Most of you are too un-cool for a "legend"

Not that thats a bad thing.

Rob's got a secret army ... Liam's a raving homosexual who runs around London and Liverpool and whereaver as "Homo-man" ... MIB's an idiot ... I'm a deer killer ...
 


Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
I want to be special
 
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
You already are.

Here comes the little yellow bus.
 


Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Getting to me, quite a bit of unofficial legends have popped up. Such as how I was demoted from "Marshall" to "General" by the Monkey of Mim for saying I liked Star Wars better than Star Trek.

Heresy! they chanted.

And how I can start a revolution of Flare members at any time...
I fyou can call that thing on the SW forum a revolution.
Are these legends, or anecdotes?

[ November 04, 2001: Message edited by: Veers ]


 
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
Little yellow bus...???

Hey, wait one damned minute! Not that kind of special!
 


Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
Hey! Not nice! *sniff* Wait. This is all part of the grand plan isn't it? You denounce me as an idiot so people won't beleive that you are from a planet orbiting a star named X and that you plan to take over the world using deer killing machines! (A.K.A. Jeeps)

Can't you come up with a better sounding legend for me. Like, "The wierdo who thinks that there is a world conpiracy intended to cover up all evidence regarding the exsistance of alien life and their Earth visitations?" Or, "A Lone Gunmen wannabe." for short.

Damn it! I just want to be loved! *runs away in tears*
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
There's only one legend for all of you:

That one guy named Wally...or is it Steve? Anyway, the kind of short one. No, not that short. Middling size, maybe. Yeah, like that. He used to sit towards the back.

That is all.
 


Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
What happened to the legend of Simon's Super Johnson?
 
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Malnurtured Snay:
Everyone around here has a "legend" built up around them.

*goes to talk*

I do not have a legend or anything else built up around me.
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
"Liam's a raving homosexual who runs around London and Liverpool and whereaver as 'Homo-man'"

Surely that just translates as "man-man"?

Still, I prefer that to Simon's slightly depressing world-view, even if he is probably right.
 


Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Do I have a legend? Come on, you can tell me.
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
I'll tell you.

No.
 


Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
 
Good.
 


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