yesterday, my girlfriend of 3 years (who i had thought i would be spending the rest of my life with) told me that there was someone that she had had feelings for for a long time. my girlfriend told me that while she loved me with her whole heart, that she needed to see if this other person was in fact the one for her. i guess that 3 years of comitment and love isn't enough to convince her that i am the "one" for her, despite the fact that she has told me an innumberable amount of times that she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. she also said that we were so young to be pairing off for life (i'm 21 and she is 20), but that she was also terrified of losing me in her life. this statement came as quite a shock to me since she had been saying for years that she didn't think that age matters and that people can find the "one" early in their life.
what upsets me the most, is the fact that she has sort of been lying to me. the guy that she wants to "test out" is someone who she knew from high school. she talks to him for hours on AIM, and i have asked her several times point blank whether she had any feelings for him. she always assured me that she didn't, but the whole thing always seemed suspicious to me. obviously, finding out that this person might be the one who steals away the woman i love is quite distressing to me.
erin (that's my girlfriend), says that she still loves me as much as ever, but that she needs to reacess her relationships. apparently, if she finds this person to be unsatisfactory she will return to me. i have no idea in hell how long it is going to take her to determine this, and i don't know if i would even want her back if she did want to return. to me, being told that basically the love she had and still has for me might be inferior to someone else, even if it is not, totally breaks the comitment that we have had. i have a hard time understanding all of this since i have been totally devoted to her. i don't even dream of have fantasies about other women (not even idealized female forms in sexual fantazies), which i have learned is rather uncommon in monogamous relationships. i love erin far more than i could ever put into words, but i don't know if i could be with someone who questions the very basic building blocks of our relationship. i also don't understant why someone would risk losing a sure, deep love for something that might not even be real. to me, it's like trading in a ferarri F-50 for a car sized box that might have a yugo, but might also have a mclaren f1. maybe the mclaren is a better car in some ways, but even if you trade for it you still lose everything that you enjoyed about the ferrari. obviously if you get the yugo you are screwed. i just don't know what to do. all my plans for the next several years (i was going to start doing research about what graduate school programs have both good music school, she is a clarinet performance major, and good history departments) are shot, and i am at a total loss as to what to do. i know that i don't understand women, but i thought i understood erin.
thank you for reading, i really needed to get this off my chest, and all of my close friends are out of town on a school trip.
--jacob
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
My advice is that you break up with Erin. It may be painful, but if she lies in your face you really need to get out of that relationship. A similar thing happened to one of my friends. She would lie in his face, and tell him lies to get him in trouble, and other stuff so much until he contemplated commiting sucide. He didn't tell me until he was about to. I conviced him not to. He broke up with her and is happier than I have ever seen him. We've been best friends since preschool.
The Defiant
EDIT: That wasn't the best way to put it, but you get the point.
[ May 28, 2002, 11:50: Message edited by: The Defiant ]
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
well, it's not really that she is lying to me (that's why i put "sort of been lying"). she says that she didn't realize until this weekend that she had actual feelings for him, but obvisouly the feelings were latent and she had to have had some kind of idea. she has never lied to me about anything in 3 years, so i tend to believe her when she says that she didn't know until this weekend. that doesn't make it any easier, however.
--jacob
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
DAMN!
That really sucks! 3 years and she's not sure and has decided for a change!?! Okaaaay.
I don't really know what to say to make you feel better as I can imagine that you are feeling pretty low right now . . .
(Goes away to think for a while)
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
Oh. Well, you might want to ask her if she had feelings for anybodyb else, or something like that.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
i did ask her if she had feelings for this guy (since she was constantly talking to him online), and she told me no. you would think that 3 years would have cemented us (we were SOOOOOO close, or at least i thought we were).
--jacob
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
Yeah, kinda odd.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
This is why monogamy is, to me at least, a poor idea. The idea of "singular pair bonding" creates a whole possessive ideal that becomes akin to property. It's partly biological, yes...but mostly societal. Call it a 30/70 split.
My girlfriend & I adore each other incredibly. I can think of no one more suited to me than her, & she will always be first & foremost in my heart. But she is not the only one. There are perhaps 10 other women who I love just as much, who I feel just as strongly for. Lindsey knows this, accepts this, & participates in it becasue she knows & loves some of them as well. By law, she will be my wife...but by heart, she will be the first of the nest.
The concept of "fidelity" is not as black & white as society would have us believe. Is wishing for a blowjob from the hot piece of ass in Marketing the same as actually getting it? Is flirting with that cute guy with the tight ass at the latte bar a sign of trouble ahead? No, it doesn't have to be.
Ed, your morals & ethics & takes on these issues are your way alone..& you need to reconcile them with hers. It IS possible to be in love with more than one person, I can say that from experience. The hard part is finding another person who is willing to accept that part of you...& this may be what you need to do.
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
First of all I'll state that I don't understand women very well. That said, don't blame me if what I now say doesn't make sense.
OK . . . so she's going to go with another guy. So she's technically dumping you for him - right? If not, what the hell is she doing - expecting you to be the when she's had enough fun foolin' around with other guys?
Since she's leaving, that leaves you the option to go and have some fun and be with some other girl(s). Two can play this game I say, and I think that if she's going off with another guy, you should go with another girl. Nothing serious (unless you want it to be), just let Erin see you with another girl in order for her to get the message that she's not the only one who has feelings for others. Of course she might get the wrong idea and think that you've completely moved on from "her and you", so . . . yeah, be careful.
The main thing is not to let her actions get you down, step outside with a smile, have a laugh and enjoy yourself.
That help/make any sense at all? Hope so.
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
^^ Agreed
You need to make sure the other girl knows it's an act. Don't want to have her trying to kill you because you was trying to get back Erin. That is all.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
quote:Ed, your morals & ethics & takes on these issues are your way alone..& you need to reconcile them with hers. It IS possible to be in love with more than one person, I can say that from experience. The hard part is finding another person who is willing to accept that part of you...& this may be what you need to do.
i understand all of that, but understanding does not take away the pain. i have been in positions (before i found erin) where i had feelings for several different women at once, so i know what it is like to love more than one person. however, i find that i can't devote a satisfactory amount of myself to anyone when i am thinking about more than one person. when i met erin, however, i found everything that i needed with her. she told me that she had found everything she needed in me. i believed her when she said that she would never leave me or even think of leaving me. i thought that when she admonished me for even glancing at another woman (normally this was an accidental thing, but i am as human as anyone else, and it is hard to not look) that this meant that she would follow her own advice. obviously she has not been internally consistant, since she says she is very attracted physically to this person.
i don't try to posess her like an object (though sometimes i wish i could), and i have already told her that if she wants to go with someone else that she is free to do so and that i won't interfere. however, i think i need to tell her that if she does that she can't just assume that she can just come right back to me like nothing happened. i might have found everything that i needed in her before this happened, but i probably won't in the future. i think of myself as a pretty cosmopolitan person, but i think that a lot of naivete that i didn't recongnize in myself before has been revealed.
--jacob
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
quote:The main thing is not to let her actions get you down, step outside with a smile, have a laugh and enjoy yourself.
i wish i could do that, but it hurts way too much. with friends of mine, there have been situations where one the people has found someone else, been infatuated with this new person, and they have been with this new person for a little while. after a while they go back to the original partner because they realize that is where they belong. i guess that is what is happening now. i don't know if i would want to be back with erin, however, if this is what happens. 3 years of total comitment is a hard thing to break, and when it breaks i don't think it can be repaired completely (with my friends, the relationship that was broken then fixed had never been more than a year old). i guess i just need to wait and see. i think it would be hard to be in anything but a casual relationship for a while, if erin does leave me. i just can't see myself with anyone long term, at least not in the near future.
--jacob
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
I don't think it's uncommon for people to start to question their long-term relationships, nor does questioning them mean they're going to abandon them.
I would, of course, caution you against taking any advice recieved from here too seriously. Not to play into stereotypes or anything, but I suspect our average dating success rate is...unenviable.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
quote:I would, of course, caution you against taking any advice recieved from here too seriously. Not to play into stereotypes or anything, but I suspect our average dating success rate is...unenviable.
i definitely hear you. right now, what i mostly need is an outlet. like i said, all of my close friends are out of town right now.
--jacob
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Well, let me say that I understand there are no black and white answers here. Obviously any relationship that has lasted 3 years is going to be more complex than just saying "You should do this," or "You should do that".
I think you have to be realistic, though. She seems to essentially be saying, "I'm going to leave what we've had for three years and go see about this thing over here. Now...if it doesn't turn out to be better than what I have now, I may come back and settle for this. So wait here for me...I may be back in a little while."
Like I said, it's not black and white and you're the only one who knows what she really means by what she's saying. But the idea that she expects you to wait for her to see if she's going to dump you permanently (which could take lord knows how long) is both cruel and moronic. She doesn't get to have it both ways, man. It would seem that waiting around to see what she's going to decide will only prolong the pain you're feeling right now.
Just my thoughts...good luck.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Ironic that Winamp should choose to play "All You Need Is Love" as I read this. But I switched to Radiohead�more appropriately depressing.
Anyway, to the people who suggesting going out and finding another girl... I would point out that, after a breakup, it's not necessarily easy to consider the prospect of a different relationship, even if it isn't serious. I suspect that, after three years, it would be nearly unfathomable (at least, if it were me).
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
I agree with Tim. (first time for everything)
But what I wouldn't do either is let her think you're just going to mope around until she makes up her mind. How to do that? Best to just end it now (as convincingly as possible, so if she does come crawling back she knows she'll have to do exactly that - come crawling back). It'll do your self-respect no good at all if she thinks she's got an easy option if her preferred choice doesn't work.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
My 1st wife (divorce final 5/10/02) and I were together from 10/26/90 to 9/??/97.... She left for some guy she met through ICQ or a matchmaker.com site... I don't remember the exact day, cause I spent at least a week drunk after she told me she wanted a divorce....
Suicide crossed my mind, shit I had planned our years together.... Obviously that idea didn't last long, or I have one hell of an internet connection....
I now have Jane, very special to me, a total opposite from everything I have had before.... She is great!!!
But to find her it took time, 31 years to be exact... The first 2 failed, badly, but I have a habit of never giving in or up....
I suggest the same to you, it isn't easy, it isn't pleasant, and it damn sure isn't any fun... but you keep on going....
That started to sound like a Meatloaf song....
Find a girl you like, even a little, and go out on a double date with your semi-x.... That should make for a few laughs....
Good luck, stay strong, and keep looking for the best in your life....
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
Edipis.
Skip her. She's not worth it.
A person who decides to "shop around" is not one to be with. I think of it this way: I could break up with my present girlfriend in order to "shop around" for someone who could be better, but after "shopping around" and realizing that my girlfriend is the perfect one for me, she may already be someone else. And even if she is still available, I have lost all credibility with her.
Three years is a long time. I feel for you. But you will eventually find someone perfect for you. Someone who won't shop around like Erin did.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
well, i told her this evening that if she decided to go and be with this person, that i wouldn't take her back if she decided that she wanted to come back. her decision was to stay with me, because she said it wasn't worth losing me forever (why she didn't come to that decision before she ever decided to tell me about this, i don't know). i guess i will just have to take this one day at a time and see what happens. i love Erin very, very much, and i don't want to lose her. however, i don't think that she is worth ruining my life over if this kind of thing happens again. hopefully, this was just her evaluating the comitment that she had made. as Sol System said, questoning long term comitments is common, and hopefully that was all this was and it won't happen again. only time will tell, i guess.
i really appreciate the understanding and advice that i got from everyone. thanks a lot.
--jacob
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
quote:as Sol System said, questoning long term comitments is common, and hopefully that was all this was and it won't happen again. only time will tell, i guess.
You also have to look at WHY questioning long term commitments is common, even in very loving relationships. When a couple is constantly together for an extended period of time, their identities tend to blend and they may lose some sense of their own person. The other person sort of becomes an extension of themselves and therefore taken for granted. It sometimes actually helps if they stay away from each other for a while. I've heard of marriage sabbaticals where (usually) the wife goes on a solitary vacation for anywhere from a week to several months. They always come back rejuvenated and more loving toward husband and kids, more appreciative of them. Basically, being away from your other half (if you've been together for a long time) helps you appreciate the role they play in your life instead of taking them for granted. Therefore, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Does that make sense?
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
In essence, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Erm... Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absinthe just makes the liver work harder.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
It makes the pigs fly around your head faster, too.
Posted by Matrix (Member # 376) on :
All I have to say is that she's not ready for a commiment such as marriage, and that she would like to be 'free' in relationships until the day when she wants to get married. Whether that being a week or decade from now, you should dump her and actually enjoy yourself a bit single.
My girlfriend and i know that on Setember 10th, we have to break up. I will be in the Navy for four years and another four afterwards in college. She and i both know that is a too long of a long distance relationship. But for now agreed to have fun, while we are still young.
You are only 21, and if she feels the need to shop, then you might not be what she wanted in life. I suggest you break up and do not rebound. Wait a while.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
About the blending....
There can only be one....
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote: well, i told her this evening that if she decided to go and be with this person, that i wouldn't take her back if she decided that she wanted to come back. her decision was to stay with me, because she said it wasn't worth losing me forever (why she didn't come to that decision before she ever decided to tell me about this, i don't know).
I shall now abandon my normal cheery disposition and become all pesemistic like:
While this is good news, are you sure she's going to be 100% in this relationship? Obviously everyone, no matter how committed they are to their partner is going to have some thoughts, wonderings about what else might have been, but if this girl is going to spend all her time thinking "I wonder if things would have been better with that other lad", then all you could be doing is postponing the inevitable.
In short, did she change her mind because she wants to stay with you, or because she's afraid to lose you? Over time, those two things will have very different results.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
That is a point, but I would suggest against thinking too hard about it at this point. If you start feeling like you can't trust her, the relationship is going to be ruined anyway. For now, I'd assume this was just a one-off incident. Don't start worrying about it unless it happens again.
Posted by thoughtychops (Member # 480) on :
I dunno. I've been through a thing like this before. And I'll tell you one thing: This guy that stole/tried to steal your girl is a prick.
He picks her up on ICQ? He's a fucking weasel.
Man, if you aren't severely pissed off, you're a better man than me.
My only advice is to figure out some way to screw with him. And don't get caught.
It won't solve a thing. But who cares?
[ May 31, 2002, 04:00: Message edited by: thoughtychops ]
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
quote:My only advice is to figure out some way to screw with him.
Hey Vice-Admiral, I believe this is your territory.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by thoughtychops: I dunno. I've been through a thing like this before. And I'll tell you one thing: This guy that stole/tried to steal your girl is a prick.
He picks her up on ICQ? He's a fucking weasel.
Man, if you aren't severely pissed off, you're a better man than me.
My only advice is to figure out some way to screw with him. And don't get caught.
It won't solve a thing. But who cares?
This is what I am doing now. One of my best friends (who I also happen to be crazy about) is going out with this asshole who's basically just using her and has already tried to cheat on her at least once. I am going to take him out. Snay, can i borrow your gun?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Use a baseball bat. You'll get more satisfaction.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Ok, will do. That was my original plan anyway... My baseball bat is aluminium.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Use wood. You can burn the evidence later. HAH!
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Yes but aluminium is easier to clean. Then if i need to dispense any other brutal beatings i still have the bat.
Posted by thoughtychops (Member # 480) on :
Well, I was thinking of things that weren't totally illegal...
But, hey, if you want to maul the guy with a louisville slugger riddled with coffin nails, have fun. Just don't get caught. Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Oh, very cheerful.
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
Kicking him in the testicles again and again with cleats (or whatever those shoes with the spikes on them are) anit against the law. Make sure you wear real baggy clothes and a ski mask. Drive a out of state car, and make sure your in front of her too. Scream the truth then the assualt. Then when she tell you about say it's true and they guy was your out of state friend Norman Carnbiwallye. He's african.
[ May 31, 2002, 19:45: Message edited by: The Defiant ]
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Defiant is SO MIB.
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
What the HELL IS MIB?????? Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Oh, it is SO obvious now. You shouldn't have gotten so familiar so soon, man. I'm reading your posts and its just leaping out at me ... your writing style just screams MIB -- !
Pick up any of the Episode II sets? Got 'em all. The drop ship is KICK-ASS! I've got a good idea for a rotating turret using one of those bubbles ... you can see it on the Nasal Avenger. How is your Lego city going?
[ May 31, 2002, 20:06: Message edited by: Snay ]
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I think is it the constant edits....
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
I think Jeff has made his point and needs to calm down.
Posted by The Defiant (Member # 818) on :
Sorry if it came off as harsh. I just really really really reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally wanted to know.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You will know. When you are calm, at peace.
Or not, but there's always the almighty search. Enjoy.
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF!
[ June 01, 2002, 02:18: Message edited by: CaptainMike ]
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
And you just wanted to share it with us along with that strange cap? What is that btw? He looks tired. Perhaps he needs to lie down.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by thoughtychops: Well, I was thinking of things that weren't totally illegal...
But, hey, if you want to maul the guy with a louisville slugger riddled with coffin nails, have fun. Just don't get caught.
It's only illegal if you get caught. Actually, the mauling bit is only if the other screwing with him things don't work. Or even if they do and I'm just having a bad day.
[ June 02, 2002, 12:38: Message edited by: Wraith ]
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Yes, I know Simon, but my "OMG MIB is BACK!" alert went off, and I just felt the need to spread the good news.
Don't play dumb, Defiant. Wait, you're not playing ...
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote: It's only illegal if you don't get caught.
Huh?
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Ooops
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
the caption is: I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF! [ June 01, 2002, 02:18: Message edited by: CaptainMike ]
Okay, so I was curious.....
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Wraith: [QUOTE]Originally posted by thoughtychops: [qb]It's only illegal if you get caught.
Actually, no. Not getting caught doesn't make illegal stuff fine and dandy.
[ June 02, 2002, 18:54: Message edited by: PsyLiam ]
Posted by thoughtychops (Member # 480) on :
I think he meant something different. Didn't word it well, is all.
Like me saying: I fuck chickens. When I mean to say "I like to eat chickens".
It can be hard.
[ June 03, 2002, 04:05: Message edited by: thoughtychops ]
Posted by thoughtychops (Member # 480) on :
As an aside, is it proper grammer to put the period inside or outside quotation marks when the quotes are at the end of a sentence? That one trips me up every time, and I don't have my Style book handy.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
quote:Originally posted by thoughtychops: As an aside, is it proper grammer to put the period inside or outside quotation marks when the quotes are at the end of a sentence? That one trips me up every time, and I don't have my Style book handy.
I have a feeling that the "standard" is different from Britain to N. America, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. IIRC, in Britain I think you put it inside, whereas here it goes outside. Either that or vice versa, but I wouldn't get your knickers in a knot over it.
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
Um.. it goes inside everywhere I've ever read... including the U.S.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: Not getting caught doesn't make illegal stuff fine and dandy.
Strangely enough, I wasn't being serious.
[ June 03, 2002, 11:14: Message edited by: Wraith ]
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
Why do English authors use a single quote to denote dialogue, whereas the authors from the Americas use double quotes? Aside from our general stupidity, that is.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
That's a question I've always wondered about too. (Always meaning a few moments every couple of years, rather than constantly. Yes.)
I think the Brits have stopped doing it in recent years, though.
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
Well, the only recent book than I can think off the top of my head is le Carr�'s The Constant Gardener, which despite being printed in 2001, has the single quotes. Also, the novel is quite shite. But that doesn't mutually exclude it from having silly quote diaglogue shenanigans.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I remember reading a foreword at one point where the author explained why he was going to use single quotes for the present book which only made sense. The idea being that you could stack up the quote marks as needed for increasingly nested heresay. Thus:
quote: ... Antonia replied, 'Now that you mention it, Detective, it was queer. Marcus said, ''I bit my lip when Sister Devlin screamed, '''The next imbecile who utters the word ''''bollocks'''' gets stabbed directly in the eye.''' And we all knew she meant it.'' He had the most pained expression just then as he remembered.'
Appologies for the above banality, and I'm certain my punctuation needs work, but you may get my meaning regardless.
What I'm less clear on is what happens when the quotes are for a title as in:
quote: The greatest movie of all time is 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan'.
or is it:
quote: The greatest movie of all time is 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.'
I mean I know you could always just italicize the title (which is likely what I'd do) and thus skirt the issue, but if you had to use quotes, does the period at the end of the sentence belong within the quote mark?
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
I think, that upon penalty of beatings, the punctuation is always inside the quote. Even if it's single. Thusly,
quote: Have you seen 'Spiderman?'
Is, like, okay, and stuff.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Actually, the correct way to write those would be:
The greatest movie of all time is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
and:
Have you seen Spiderman?
Anyway, the official rule is that the punctuation goes inside the quotes. However, I usually ignore that rule because it makes no logical sense. It's just arbitrary.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
God bless you, Tim. God bless you.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
All language rules are ultimately arbitrary.
And I keep punctuation inside the quotes unless I'm quoting something that ends in a way I don't want my sentence to end, or if I want to quote something exactly as it appears elsewhere.
Thus: Did you talk to Paul? Was he all "No you don't, girlfriend!"?
Or: I don't know if you can believe him, but he says his e-mail address is "[email protected]".
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
Pulitzer.
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
yes, thats the exception i make as well.. i realized one day when i added a completely unnoticed connotation to the phrase like this:
"So, have you read 'Dreadnought!?'
making me appear to be saying either the name of the book was a shocked question (look at the picture of Kirk on the cover and tell me it doesnt look like he's saying "Dreadnought!?.. oh, crap!"), or it appears that im saying the sentence as a shocked question instead of typing in a normal 'tone of voice,' just like "Hey, what's up?" sound a little lower key than "Hey, what's up!?"
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
I have never seen the punctuation inside the quote in books or media. That's stupid, like if you have several quotes, why should the last one get soiled?
-------- 'I have "1984" at home, but do you like "Gone with the wind?????"
-No I don't like "Gone with the wind?????", now sit down and shut "up!!!"
-Yes sir.
--------
See, perfectly viable.
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
maybe you weren't looking, because I've never seen it outside, except on message boards.
quote:> Kirk heard Spock's voice call out "Captain!," and he turned, caught a glimpse of the science officer framed in the partly open door of a gangway. He and his security team backed through; Spock let the door slam shut, fused the mechanism with a burst of phaser fire. In the near darkness of the stairwell, he was aware of clustering, luminous eyes, of a strong, but not unpleasant, alien smell--of being surrounded by the living breathing bodies of the race he had only known that morning as charred skeletons, mummified corpses. > "Where're Arios and Mr. Scott?" > "Flank guards," said Spock briefly, and handed him a translator disk. "They'll rendezvous in the shuttle deck with us, each of them has a half-dozen Yoons with them, armed with phasers." > "My granddaughter Iriane," whistled Darthanian, "has a great anger in her, a terrible rage--and she has been trained as a warrior. Believe me, these human beings have no idea what it was they brought on board their starship."
[ June 04, 2002, 08:42: Message edited by: CaptainMike ]
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I've heard the nested quotation mark thing before. Since you are hardly ever likely to need more than one nesting of a conversation within another (and if you do, you really need to learn to write better, says Run-On-Sentence-Man), you'll only ever need singles and doubles.
"Hey Simon" said Liam, "did you hear Tim call you a 'motherfucking horse's mother fucker'?"
Or 'Hey Simon' said Sexy Liam, "did you hear Tim call you a "Complete arse raping arse raper"?'
Something like that anyway.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
I'm assuming you meant to have a single mark in front of "did."
Anyway, Liam is in accordance to my general perception of the whole thing. Which is good.
Now we have to deal with the pesky fact that we've turned a thread about love and loss and emotions and angst into a debate about punctuation. Which is of course useful in the expression of the aforementioned concepts, but hardly the sort of thing that thaws hearts and raises members.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Somehow I doubt that a thread about "love and loss and emotions" "thaws hearts and raises members" anymore than a decent "debate about punctuation" would (note the omitted period, which I have tactfully placed at the end of this sentence).
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, the original issue of the thread was resolved already, so it's okay to talk about punctuation now.
And, as far as I know, nested quotes just alternate between double and single quotes. There are no triple quotes and so on. E.g., "I asked Simon, 'Did you hear Liam say "'Hey Simon' said Sexy Liam"?'. 'Yes,' said Simon, 'but I didn't know that "sexy" could mean "sexually depraved"'."
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
Now I understand. Of course the punctuation should be left inside the quotation if it belonged to the quote. But when you said "quotation" I thought of person-, movie- and book-names, those shouldn't be paired with punctuations belonging to the speaker. There, all fine now.
Posted by akb1979 (Member # 557) on :
quote:Originally posted by The Ulcer Mongoose: Why do English authors use a single quote to denote dialogue, whereas the authors from the Americas use double quotes? Aside from our general stupidity, that is.
We do?
I'm a Brit and I always use double quotes for the start and end of speech, and single for quotes either within or outside the speech. The double always looks best IMHO, single just looks shite.
Oh yeah - and we were always taught to use double at school too. So which Brit's use single?
[ June 04, 2002, 14:03: Message edited by: akb1979 ]
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
Yes, single is much more weak.
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
Tolkien, for one. And he was a linguist. So I trust his judgment.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
You're actually trusting the judgement of his publisher. Or his typesetter. ("Fuck!" What a boring job!)
Like I said, I've noticed the single-quote-only thing only in older British stuff.
[ June 04, 2002, 14:50: Message edited by: The_Tom ]
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Well, not that old. I spent some time this year reading some early novels by Iain Banks (who is Scottish) published in, oh, 84-86, say? And those used single quotes normally.
Posted by TLE (Member # 280) on :
Women, I've discovered are incredibly hard to trust. They do lie to you, so don't just take everything she says at face value. If you're suspcious, look into her. I'm just replying to the first post, I don't have time to read 6 pages.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Uh...that doesn't sound like an entirely healthy attitude.
In my experience, gender has nothing to do with trustworthiness, or approachability for that matter. The fault lies not in our stars, as it were.
Posted by TLE (Member # 280) on :
Well everyone knows men can't be trusted with anything. Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote: ...a decent "debate about punctuation"...
There is no such thing. To quote Shakespear, we are the most boring fuckers in the world.
And death to all women, or something.
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
I do not know who Shakespear is. Maybe he is the writer of the spelling errors! You made an attempt to write Shakespeare but wrote Shakespear instead! Notice the difference! Limey! YOU SUCK SO MUCH ASS!
Also, my genitalia is/are very small.
[ June 04, 2002, 19:07: Message edited by: The Ulcer Mongoose ]
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Actually, Shakespeare himself signed his name w/ multiple different spellings. If he were around today, I don't doubt he'd be online, typing stuff like "2 b or not 2 b taht is teh question, wether t'is nobler in the mind 2 suffer teh slign s and arrrows of outrajuss (sp???) fortun" and so on...
Posted by The Ulcer Mongoose (Member # 239) on :
And, most certainly: "ne1 no were theirs gay prono/?"
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
h4 h4 1i a hoax that post wsa ritten by million monkeysd at 1000000typewriters
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
"Well everyone knows men can't be trusted with anything."
Not phare! We made "Ben Hur"!
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
And what fun it was.
Posted by MaGiC (Member # 59) on :
Spellers of the world untie!
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
I cence we are on the brink of interspellar war!
Well I, for one, was not 313C73I) to watch my people studder and cry while you discuss this issue in a committee!!
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I just hadn't thought of myself associated with so many dang monkeies......
[ June 06, 2002, 19:04: Message edited by: Ritten ]
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Turnips. Not monkeys. Turnips. Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
At least it's not turnkeys...
Posted by Magna Ultrus (Member # 239) on :
Hush you! Nimmy will be sad like a crying man who is sad!
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
I get it, running out of proverbs again, eh?
Alas, I'm all too familiar with turncoats, if that was your meaning, Tissen. You see, I've played Counterstrike with Jeph. Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I never TKed you.
And it's "Jeff" ...
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
teh speling makes me angery and magnesium
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
No, I meant "turnkey". As in, a jailer.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Smack off, shorty.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
man, the places this thread went... well, erin and i broke up, and i'm left emotionally devastated. no surprise. i hope the stupid fuck she's with gets leukemia or some shit. well, as a plus, i have rediscovered my old friend alcohol and his constant companion cannabis. and to think that i had kicked them out last year.
found out when my friends got back (remember, they were out of town) that this is the story of life for most men. i don't understand why the stereotype is that men can't handle the commitment, because it seems that women are the ones who generally can't. women, what a bunch of bitches. its so hard to live by yourself after having lived with a woman for a while, but i guess i will have to learn. there is no way in hell i could just go find someone else. man, what a topper for a shitty school year.
--jacob
btw, absinthe might not make the heart grow fonder, but i wouldn't mind some. shame the stuff is so expensive to get imported from europe to the US.
[ June 11, 2002, 05:49: Message edited by: EdipisReks ]
Posted by Nim Pim (Member # 205) on :
Never mind that it tastes like kerosene.
I'm sorry things didn't work out, but taking you for granted like that, she sounded like she hadn't gotten things right about relationships at all. I understand you feel like piss, but at least this time you held the moral high ground. Big consolation, I know.
TSN: Yeah, I know. Jeff: Yeah, I know. No disrespect to your skillz, your rep is intact.
Posted by Magna Ultrus (Member # 239) on :
I feel so innumeratively old when I read all this young adult angst. Oh, to sulk in my own self-pity again...
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
just about time to start my own angst thread.. BTW i was wondering when the conversation would swing back from spelling to the topic
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