...because today I finally lost my last baby tooth. Yeah, twenty-three years old, and I've been walking around with an extra tooth in my mouth that I don't need (aside from the wisdom teeth).
For the last several years, my lower left canine has been a little loose. I could wiggle it back in forth a little bit. It was really loose way back when I was ten or so, but then it attached itself firmly to my jaw again once the adult canine decided to come in beside it. My teeth managed it all right since I have a lot of extra room in my mouth (which is perfect considering the number of times I manage to stick both feet in there).
A few weeks ago, I got it really loose again after a minor eating incident involving a slice of meatloaf. I've been eating soft, gooey stuff and soup since last Friday since it was getting painful to chew (and I'm too cheap to spend some money going to a dentist). Today, I got really tired of it and yanked the sucker out. No wonder it hurt so damn much; the root is jagged and razor sharp.
Yep, I lost my final baby tooth. Pretty soon, I bet I'll stop thinking that girls have cooties.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Circle Circle Dot Dot, now you got a Cootie Shot! Posted by Red BWC (Member # 818) on :
Have you wathced 'Leave It To Beaver' latley? He's supposed to be in junior high and still belives that crap...
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Oh, yes, I remember the cooty shot. I blame my current love woes on overdosing on them when I was in fourth grade. I couldn't help, I was addicted to them. At the height of my problem, I was doing three dozen cooty shots a day. Even when there were no girls and, thus, no chance of contamination, I'd find myself in locked in the bathroom giving myself cooty shots. I was mess.
Fortunately, I haven't Leave it to Beaver is a very long time. Even though I grew up on the shows of the '50s and '60s, I never learned to like the preachy "this is how society should be" totally-anticeptic shows like Leave it to Beaver. I did, for some reason, like The Donna Reed Show, though.
Posted by Red BWC (Member # 818) on :
At least you didn't have to see the 'Flying Nun' repeats.
Siggy, check yer PMs, buddy!
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Girls don't have cooties??? dang new one on me....
Now I have to explain to my son that they don't... This, after having to explain why girls have to sit down to pee.... So shocked he was to find out girls will never have a penis...
[ July 22, 2002, 22:45: Message edited by: Ritten ]
Posted by David Templar (Member # 580) on :
I think this thread just blew every one of CaptainMike's sex life story out of the water, in terms of "huh?"-ness. Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :
At least he hasn't questioned about you or his mother or asked to see your privates. Well, he'll learn to like girls.
Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :
Edit: Damn double post.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Hey, I was shocked with the whole "girls don't have a penis" thing as well. And I found out the hard way: from movies. Yes! My parents allowed me to watch soft-core pornography until I realized that girls not having penes was a good thing!
And, by soft-core porn, I am refering to that classic trilogy of 1950s high school shenanigans known as Porky's.
Posted by CaptainMike: Director's Edition (Member # 709) on :
hmm. .my mom had a cartoon she showed me called 'Where Did I Come From?' that i was shown when i was 9 years old.. you have never lived until youve seen cartoon sperm closing in on an egg after animated intercourse *shudders*
i think that making sex education something my mom could hit the 'play' button of and go in the other room for a cup of coffee is one of the single most ominous signs of the coming apocalypse.
by the way, cooties do exist and they are dangerous. my friend fooled around with a girl and he needed a few shots and a special cream to get rid of her cooties.. he told me about the cooties test the doctor did and i never want a q-tip put there!
by the way, ive been sparing you the sex-life updates because they infinitely increased in "huh"-ness about three weeks ago.. but the keywords are 'local club', 'fetish night', 'naked boobies', 'fake IDs', 'free drink passes', 'duct taped nipples', 'voyeur', and 'orgy'.. be thankful that i dont know how to deal with it well enough to talk about it. just keep an eye on my member status line to know when the ship sinks...
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Lamkin Elementary School. Fifth Grade. Mr. Miller took all of the boys into the 4th/5th grade art room for sex education. Sex education consisted of watching a video and a discussion on our coming changes. We saw the animated intercourse, and we saw the animated sperm. All this and more from a Disney product.
About the only good thing to come from it was that I expanded my vocabulary to include "scrotum," "erection," and "ejaculation."
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Better than Powerpuff hentai...
Anyway, and I am slightly embarrassed here, but I'm still not 100% sure if cooties is a completely made up thing (say, the American equivalent of "lurgies", only based around kissing), or if it does actually refer to a real thing (like, oh, I don't know, nits). Someone please drag me out of this bottomloss pit of confusion.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
quote:A few weeks ago, I got it really loose again after a minor eating incident involving a slice of meatloaf...
What happen?!
Posted by CaptainMike: Director's Edition (Member # 709) on :
cooties arent real at all.. however i use the term inclusively to describe any sort of itching, burning, bubbling or dripping that could be caused by a dirty dirty girl, since imaginary cooties were mainly caused by girls when i was a kid, and adult cooties seem to regularly be the fault of girls in the Providence venue (most of my close friends are girls, and i know of none of them catching something from a guy, but most of the guys i know have caught something from a girl)
scabies were the specific cootie to avoid last year...
Posted by Thoughtchopper (Member # 480) on :
I remember being embarrased when I was about four or five by a rerun of Buck Rogers. There was an alien that could take the clothes off of people by blinking his eyes. He took the shirt off of one of Buck's buxom brunettes. I was so mortified (even though they showed nothing) that I had to get up and leave the room.
Shortly thereafter I got the famous birds and the bees talk, complete with diagrams from the Encyclopedia.
It's hard to understand how I could watch Buck Rogers and not want to see a woman naked, but there you go.
Posted by Thoughtchopper (Member # 480) on :
Also, I lost my last baby tooth after a mishap with a baseball bat. But since I'm only writing this to cover up a double post, I'll save that story for somewhere else.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
You got the birds and the bees talk when you were five?
Suddenly everything falls into place.
quote:There was an alien that could take the clothes off of people by blinking his eyes. He took the shirt off of one of Buck's buxom brunettes.
Best...superpower...ever.
Posted by Thoughtchopper (Member # 480) on :
I never believed in Santa Claus either, due to the fact that Mom and Pop believed him to be a tool of Satan.
Education followed by repression is the motto of my family.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
When you're a kid, Liam, cooties aren't real. They're just a made-up kid-fact that allows boys to think that girls are icky without having to bring sexism into the fold. When you're an adult, cooties refers all manner of sexually transmitted diseases. For kids, a cooty shot will protect you, but once you hit puberty you best be wearing a condom or a biohazard level four containment suit.
As for the meatloaf incident, Cartman, it isn't anything cool or even funny. I overcooked my meatloaf in the oven, so the crust got thick and crunchy (which is how I prefer it). I chomped down on a bit of it, and I wound up crunching the tooth instead of the crust.
Posted by Ultra Magnus Pym (Member # 239) on :
Worst. Meatloaf Story. Ever.
Posted by CaptainMike: Director's Edition (Member # 709) on :
I can't imagine my life taking me into a situation where I would have to cook my own meatloaf for myself.. i shudder if thats what the age of 23 holds in store..
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Hey, I said it wasn't cool or funny. So I cannot be blamed for the dull life I lead.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by CaptainMike: Director's Edition: I can't imagine my life taking me into a situation where I would have to cook my own meatloaf for myself..
Er, why? Because you never cook, or because you hate meatloaf?
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Maybe because it'd be a completely new and unfamiliar situation for him. Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
I remember when I was staring out in the IT industry, I had a boss who was proud of the fact he'd never ironed a shirt (something quite necessary when you're in a suit, shirt and tie-working environment). His girlfriend always did it. I asked what he did when he was between relationships - he told me his Mum did them then.
Posted by Thoughtchopper (Member # 480) on :
I hate people like that.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
He was a twat. And collected naff little statuettes of pewter dragons with little crystal eggs. I kid you not.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Unfortunately, I have also known my share of people like that. One of my coworkers was quite proud that he was always able to jump from relationship to relationship so that he wouldn't have to spend the time or money doing his own laundry.
Then there's my sister who for years got out of helping cook dinner by saying that she didn't know how. She maintained for years that she didn't know how to cook hot dogs (which is as easy as boiling them for 10 minutes). Fortunately, she's since grown out of that phase.
Posted by Red Ultra Mega Psy Snay God Shinzon (Member # 16) on :
quote:she didn't know how to cook hot dogs (which is as easy as boiling them for 10 minutes
Or microwaving them for 30 seconds. (cut lengthwise with knife before cooking to avoid end explosions)
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
And as I realize that you are First of Two, may descent into the insane nightmare that is Trekkie Hell has finally reached its termination. My soul has been eaten. With gravy. And some parsley on the side to garnish.
Yeah, you can microwave them, but I like to boil them. That way, you have enough time to cook the chili, dice the onions, and grate the cheese.
Posted by The Non-Red 359 (Member # 37) on :
I nuke my hot dogs for 45 seconds without any slicing...I've never had any explosions. Same way I've always done it for years.
Posted by I See Red (Member # 167) on :
Red pim mike beat me to it. I was going to point out that some girls really do have "Cooties".
Posted by Just Harry (Member # 265) on :
Proof: (URL removed by Sol System, reason: Sweet zombie Jesus! The image you linked to, uh, changed.)
[ July 26, 2002, 19:06: Message edited by: Sol System ]
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I think that I just lost another tooth.
Posted by Red Magnus Pymster (Member # 239) on :
She's got more than enough to spare.
Posted by Colorless Cartman (Member # 256) on :
An image I could've lived without. And I'm not so sure "she" is the right pronoun.
Where "the fuck" did you dig that up, anyway?
Hmm... on second thought, don't answer that.
[ July 26, 2002, 16:28: Message edited by: Colorless Cartman ]
Posted by Red Magnus Pymster (Member # 239) on :
I don't know what this is, but I found it in my gutter last week when I was trying to figure out where the hell that "bunk-ow bunk-ow" noise was coming from. I thought another cat had escaped from my Correctional Closet and somehow got on the roof and was stuck there and trying to escape by hammering his way out, but there was no cat up there. AND my hammer is still missing, so I don't know what the hell to make of this whole thing. If you've seen my hammer send me a computer message and I'll come over and pick it up and maybe use the pointy end of it to pry your eyes out like they tried to do to me during the European War.
Classic.
Posted by Colorless Cartman (Member # 256) on :
I give it ten brownie points for coherency.
Posted by EdipisReks (Member # 510) on :
i'm assuming that is classic Cliff Yoblonski?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
It sort of sounds like it. But there isn't really enough profanity. And I don't think Cliffy Y. was in any war in Europe.
But, then, it's not like he's necessarily a consistently-written character. :-)
Posted by Nim Pim Pim (Member # 205) on :
He's probably been in every war. He's a force of nature, of the filthy kind.
Posted by Captain... Mike (Member # 709) on :
he was first born in the name Akhblonski'in over five thousand years ago, and he continues going from life to life, always moving on but never dying.
He was a slacker who hid behind rocks at the pyramids to avoid being pressed into work. At the very first showing of 'Romeo and Juliet' he howled for the actor playing Juliet to show him his tits. He made crude noises at the Crucifixion, and made fun of the soldiers helmets. He attended the beheading of Anne Boleyn so he could grab her jaw and make her head into a puppet before being removed. He was confused and perplexed why Buddha wouldn't stomp anthills with him as a boy.
I think Pandora found him in a box somewhere...
Posted by Dani (Member # 57) on :
Actually, cooties are a real thing. Let's hope none of the girls you know have them though, heh.
quote:Main Entry: coo�tie Pronunciation: 'k�-tE Function: noun Etymology: perhaps modification of Malay kutu Date: 1917 : BODY LOUSE
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