Define love, as you personally understand, use, and live the term. If you define it with examples, give me that. If you can't define it in words, I'd like to know that, too. Please take as much room as you need. I want as accurate a picture as possible. I want whatever it takes to understand how your minds work when contemplating the subject.
This is for a personal research project. I'll explain once I'm done. Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
"Love means...that, at certain times, another person's bodily fluids don't gross you out. Love means...that you care enough to hurt and be hurt. Love means...you always have someone to blame when you fail. Love means...the world won't mistake you for a lonely loser."
- Ruben Bolling
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
What kind of love? The word "love" is so overloaded, it's kind of hard to define it w/o writing a book. You can say "I love my wife", "I love my family", "I love my dog", "I love pasta", and they all describe different feelings. Hopefully.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
There's a Haddaway gag in here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can make it gel.
Posted by leuckinc (Member # 729) on :
To me, I am in love when I want to be with some one so much it hurts.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Love is when you want and need a person to be there for you in your life at any and all times that you need them.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:I want to be with some one so much it hurts.
Leuckinc ...
Blue balls", despite what some may have told you, is not the same thing as love. "Blue balls" may easily be remmedied by either your left or right hand (or, in the technical term known as "threesome", you may use both), engaging your organ in a repetive pumping motion (pamphlet of female nudity optional).
You need hurt no longer.
Love is, for me at least, best recognized when I identify someone, and if push came to shove, would be willing to say, "Gee, I'd rather get to know them as a person then to use their body for my own personal pleasure." And, er, no Siggy, I never wanted to use your body for my own personal pleasure. Sorry. Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
*my most famous quote* "There are many kinds of love in this world, and I posess them all"
For me, love is a term that I throw around all the time... ALL The time... there's no one that knows me that I haven't said "I luv you!" to before... it's a problem, yes, but it's true...
However, my definition of love? Well, love isn't really something I can describe - I mean, its more a feeling than a tangible object... but the best I can come up with at this late hour is this: YOu posess love towards someone/something when you can no longer imagine your life without it. Even when it hurts, you are willing to look past problems and irregularities because it's not fathomable to be without that person/thing.
Of course, that loosely describes obsession, as well.... sooo......
I'll think this through a bit more and try to peg something more concrete down. BUt I'm with Tim - there are MANY kinds of love, and it's hard to describe all of them in one broad statement.
~LOA
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
But, remember, no matter how you define love, the boobs are always "fair game".
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
It is what it is.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
I wouldn't go that far, Tim..... I mean, I love my little-bro-type-person, Dustin, but yesterday when we were wrestling and he gave me a "purple nerple" I did NOT feel that the boobs were fair game in the slightest.... :-P
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
All is fair in love and war...
Which, sometimes, can not be distinguished from one another... Much like that fine line between pleasure and pain...
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Why can't I give any girls purple nurples? Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
The word "love" is so overloaded, it's kind of hard to define it w/o writing a book.
Darn you.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
No matter what you say, Snay, I'm not dropping the restraining order against you. Now stay on your side of the 200 ft bubble around me!
Love, for me, is caring for someone so much that you would darn near do anything to make sure that special someone is happy and well (even if it means sacrificing your own happiness and well-being). It starts out as a tingly sense of euphoria you get when you cannot help but smile a little when that person is near you. If you're lucky it, love ends up as a nearly indestructable bond between you and the someone. If you're not lucky, love ends up a footnote in your history of opportunities missed or regret.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
359, the best way to give one is with your tongue...
Sieg, that made me sad reading it....
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
love is.. never hesitating to swallow.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I don't love anyone then....
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by CaptainMike: love is.. never hesitating to swallow.
Yeah....I can't think of any smart ass remark to that...just, ewww...
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Love is not double-posting.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Love is knowing that nothing you love will last for long in the world, and not caring.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Simon Sizer: The Romantic Nihilist.
Snap him up now, ladies, before he goes in the sales.
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
I don't think he's being a nihilist, I think he's saying that the love is important enough that it doesn't matter that it won't last forever.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
"Love is a snowmobile speeding across the tundra, when suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." --Friedrich Nietzsche
Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
My experience with romantic love was very...muddled. I mean, at first there were only the highs... the great feelings of being with each other and not wanting to leave. Then, it became so damn confusing. But, no matter what, I knew I HAD to have him in my life-- in order to survive on some level. The emotional bond between us was..unexplainable. And, in the end, all I knew was I loved him so much that I had to let him go when he asked. I still love him, but in a different way. I don't physically need him in my life anymore, but the memories still keep me warm at times and I look forward to finding whomever is going to be with me for the long run.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Side note and quasi-vent:
My psychology book says that the formula for a sucessful relationship is at least a 5:1 ratio of Positive:Negative interactions...
What sucks is that you have to look at that from both sides. Because sometimes half of the partnership is getting the 5:1, but the other half is ending up with more of a 1:5.... not that I know anything about that. Nothing at all.
And it's not like he thinks it's funny or anything. I mean, he KNOWS it's happening, but he's not going to make it stop or go away... it's just too damn easy for him to be a dick and treat me like shit. Find my weak spots and go with it. It's an amusement to him. Haha, funny game. Because I'm "so cute" when I'm mad.
I hate men.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Pardon my language... sorry.....
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
English, you mean?
Given your wording, it sounds like you're talking about a situation you're currently experiencing. If that's the case, I can only say that there's a reason they invented this thing called "dumping the son of a bitch".
Shik: I can't remember who I saw that quote attributed to (seems like it was a cartoonist), but I'd be very surprised if Nietzsche ever used the word "snowmobile".
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Yes men can be lame, but rest assured, dear LOA, that your sex has imparted its measure of pain, as I'm sure many can here attest.
For some time I had mistaken adoration for love. Adoration can be one-sided, where love by it's very nature must be shared. Adoration is love for one, and it can seem to fill your life with purpose and color your world, but if the sentiment is not mutual it can assume a darker aspect. To me proper love embodies that magical coincidence where the adoration for one overlaps and supports the adoration for the other. Ideally this experience is sustainably joyous for both.
I miss that part. It aches like an untended lesion and hardens my heart and causes me to strike out like a pathetically wounded wretch at those who might innocently probe those tender spots. Not that I've been thinking about it a lot lately or anything.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
ps- I believe the good Captain Mike has established the insightful definition that indeed "Love is a holographic snowmobile." I don't know that there could be a wiser answer.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
It was Matt Groening, Tim.
Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
When I have a good definition of love, I'll let you know. Meanwhile, I'm taking the snowmobile for another ride.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
1) Love is never going to bed angry 2) Love is waking up next to him/her every day for five years and still smiling about it. 3) Love is tolerating the fact that he spends 14 hours a day running a factory. 4) Love is leting her drink 72oz of espresso. 5) Love is calling her IBG and her calling you a fanboy.
Does that help? Or did getting in touch with that side of myself just make me gay?
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Yes.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
quote:Originally posted by Omega: Yes.
Thanks for clearing that up. Posted by Mark Nguyen (Member # 469) on :
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
Mark
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
I was waiting for someone to post that... Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
Three pages for the predicted Haddaway gag. Too slow.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Styrofoaman: 2) Love is waking up next to him/her every day for five years and still smiling about it.
What, is there a five year term limit on relationships now?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I thought the same thing, but I think he was referring specifically to his own marriage, which, presumably, has thus far lasted five years.
Shik: Yeah, that's it. I knew cartoons were involved somehow...
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
Besides, you'd probably get tired of someone after five years.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
I've known Frank for about 5 years, and I'm already sick of him Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
No one gets sick of me.
Please note that I live in a beautiful fantasy world powered by my own insecurities and delusions.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Due to the large numbers of poetic and/or cliche answers in this thread thus far, I just want to make sure: when you speak of love, what you've posted is REALLY what you mean by that thought?
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
You know...my first post in the original Utopia Planitia messageboard was in early January of 1998. So, I actually have been around for exactly five years, give or take a week.
Fortunately, I've been getting out more as of late. I remember when I had the highest post count on these forums...
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Only for a while. Then it fluctuated between me and you. And then I took permanent control! HAHAHAHA!!!
Um... That is a good thing, right? Right? Oh.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
While the deer hunter creeps up on you....
Love is picking up the third sneeze when your wife only sneezes twice....
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: I thought the same thing, but I think he was referring specifically to his own marriage, which, presumably, has thus far lasted five years.
Nope, married her last year. We lived together for quite awhile. (Not five years.) Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: Given your wording, it sounds like you're talking about a situation you're currently experiencing.
Nothing gets past you, does it Timmy?
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
He is a bright one now, isn't he?
Tim, that's easier said than done in this situation.... why? Because I'm not even DATING him! So it's kinda hard to dump him when I'm not dating him.....
Stupid boy.
We were supposed to take a trip to Seattle this weekend- my car, 'cause he's without one right now, and I was taking him to meet up with some of his air force buddies, then I was going to spend some time with my friends. Well, he changed the plans on me (remember: My car, my gas, MY TIME!) and decided that it'd just be a day trip. We'd leave this morning, go to Hooters with his friends, and then we'd drive bvack after that.
"Sorry sweety... there's really not going to be any time for you to go see your friends. I need you to be at Hooters with me and the boys so they can see you..."
Nope. Nada. Not gonna play that game. I'm not going to risk my life TWICE in a day by driving over a pass that my car isn't equipped to handle, especially after dark, so that he can get wasted at Hooters and show me off. I tried to compromise when I said I'd take him (it WAS a trip for both of us, at first), he pushed to have it his way or no way, so we're not going. It's not worth the gas $, it's not worth putting 1000mi on my car, it's not worth the stress, it's not worth the fact that I'm LOSING money 'cause I'd have to call in sick all day to go, and it's REALLY not worth letting him think he can have whatever the f*ck it is he wants.
I DID really want to see my friends, but it's just too dangerous of a drive right now to take alone, so I'll go later. Stupid boy. BUt I'm not bitter.
And now he's pouting about it. He's such a woman! Sh*t. It's just so f*cking lame.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Down killer.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
I'm in love, unlike, it seems, many people here, so I'll try to give an idea of what it's like. However people have been trying for thousands of years so I doubt my attempt will be much good. 8)
What I feel for my wife is unlike anything I've felt for anyone before. I thought I'd been in love, but it seems I haven't, really. Sometimes I just sit back and think about it all and it takes my breath away. Speaking of which, some soppy love aongs start to make sense all of a sudden. And I find myself blubbing at the end of films like You've Got Mail.
I was a loner who by and large enjoyed my own company. The idea of wanting to spend all my time with someone, like I do now, would have seemed unbelievable to me two years ago. We think the same way in a lot of situations, the same thing occurs to us as something to say at the same time. We pick the same item off a menu as the one thing we'd really like to try - and quite often pick the same number-two choice as well, so we can have one each and try a bit of both.
And the sex is terrific. 8)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I should hope the last part improved, not being alone anymore and all.....
Finishing your sentenances for you, and not being angry about it is another thing... The person that you love can do things that if other people did them you'd want to kill them over....
Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poet: What I feel for my wife is unlike anything I've felt for anyone before. I thought I'd been in love, but it seems I haven't, really. Sometimes I just sit back and think about it all and it takes my breath away. Speaking of which, some soppy love aongs start to make sense all of a sudden. And I find myself blubbing at the end of films like You've Got Mail.
And the sex is terrific. 8)
Yeah. All of those things were what I was experincing earlier this year. (Except, well, I'm not too keen on getting myself a wife.) Along with everything just feeling...RIGHT. I mean, every touch, look, everything just had this feeling as if it were the most normal thing in the world for us. Like we were one together.
Thing is, even though he walked away five months ago...a lot of it lingers. I still think of him when I hear romantic songs, or somehow place him in movies and stories that turn lovey-dovey. The hardest part of all of this has been sticking to my guns about it. I mean, a huge chunk of me wants to just up and track him down in NYC but another part of me knows that I need this education I am getting before I can do myself any good, career-wise. Which was the major cause of the breakup in the first place. He was impatient and didn't want to wait the 10 months for me to graduate. And no matter how I have tried to move on, something always gets in the way of me going with someone else. (Mainly the guy's girl. Grr.)
Ohhhh. And to top it off. He talked to one of our mutual friends yesterday and she kinda played along not knowing we had broken up. When she asked him if he had broken it off to move....he said "for the time being."
What the hell?
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
quote: I'm lonely and I love it Woe is me but I'm above it If that's how it feels to get your heart broken Break my heart again
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Since my meaning was not necessarily covered by an epigraph: Sometimes maybe it is OK to break up.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Love is one part obsession, two parts lust, three parts endorphines, and all mixed together to create something that makes me settle down with a guy instead of doing what single guys do at a Saturday night.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Sit in an overstuffed armchair watching Food Network and crying that your life is nothing like it should be and desperating praying that God would give the opportunity to press the giant reset button so that you could set things right?
Oh, wait, that's what I do on Saturday nights. Nevermind.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I'm not talking from a wealth of experience here (unlike Lee who is having TEh G000d S3XXXXX!!! But he cries as You've Got Mail, so he's obviously suffered head trauma of some kind), but I'd describe it as something like:
"Love is getting the opportunity to have sex with your best friend, and not minding when you don't have sex with them."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Wow. That's almost as good as the ice weasels quote...
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
I never really had a best friend - whether or not I made the right choice of Best Man still niggles - but then the person I maybe should have had ended up as the one next to me during the ceremony and signed the Registry as a witness, while the actual named BM doubled up as wedding photographer, so I suppose it didn't matter really.
I suppose Kate is my best friend. She's even agreed to accompany me to see Nemesis AND to the Star Trek exhibition in Hyde Park - in the same week! That's love. 8)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Ice Weasels?
Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sol System: Since my meaning was not necessarily covered by an epigraph: Sometimes maybe it is OK to break up.
True.
For now: bah@"love"
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
OK, new question, for those of you who have no definition: if you can't tell me how love affects you, how it changes your actions, what makes it a unique condition, HOW DO YOU KNOW LOVE? How can you know it if you can't define it, short of an outright guess?
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Simply. You don't know your in love until your in love.
You also don't know that the last time you were in love it was really just a silly crush until you are actually in love.
In short, you're buggered.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
I think the very fact that I'm facing a significant portion of my life being spent in a correctional facility is a fairly large blinker of love. That, & the fact that I love her enough to let her go no matter how much it hurts. Her happiness & need to be herself is the primary item.
I notice that it happens a lot, that people fall in love with a person...& then set about trying to change them into something totally different than the person they fell for. This to me makes no sense. No one is without fault or flaws. But these differences should be cherished & nurtured, not excised & modified. Lindsey & I are very, very similar in many ways. But we're also very, very different in many ways, & I wouldn't change that for the universe.
For me...for us...love is defined by a very simple phrase: "No matter what." When you feel for a person regardless...when you'll feel the same for them no matter what...then that's love. Not just romantic love, but familial love, platonic love, all love. The recent actions of some of my friends has pissed me off to no fucking extent...but I still love them & would still stand by them. No matter what.
Posted by MaGiC (Member # 59) on :
Shik, believe me the differences grate more the longer you are together. You can love a persons soul without loving their bad habits. I have been with my partner for coming up on 10 years. I love her. We share many common interests we too are seeing Nemesis and Star Trek exhibition next weekend. We do the whole think the same way, say the same thing, order the same food stuff like Lee and Mrs Lee. The novelty and charm of that rubbed off about 5 years ago leaving in general a kind of cosy co-dependance. I feel safe when I am both holding her and being held by her. On the flip side, sometimes she makes me angry and I hate her and try to hurt her. However she is the only person who illicits a response of that strength from me. I don't feel hurt by what anyone else says or does. Because I love her she can hurt me. Contrary to what people might think love does not mean you would do anything to avoid hurting the other person, because sometimes you do it to prove you can, after all a response of a certain level is a proof of love. Anyway, love is beautiful, fulfilling, comforting but also unsettling and can motivate you to behave like a real nutcase. However the thought of her not being part of my life fills me with a panic and the promise of a misery I hope I never have to feel.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Love is a kind of madness. It can make you laugh, cry, hurt, hate, and laugh again... in the space of a moment. It can make you risk your life. It can make you live when you would die. It can make you do the stupidest thing you have ever done in your entire life...again and again. It can inspire you to brilliance and beauty the likes of which you never dreamed. Love can make you so weak you cannot stand. Love can give you the strength to stare a demon in the face -- and make him blink. Love cuts, burns, bleeds, freezes... ...heals, warms, glows, rejuvenates. Love is a kind of madness. Let it ever be so.
Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"if you can't tell me how love affects you, how it changes your actions, what makes it a unique condition, HOW DO YOU KNOW LOVE?"
I can't tell you. Because. There are no words. They fall short. Too shallow. Too primitive.
"How can you know it if you can't define it, short of an outright guess?"
Feelings. Intuition. About some things we are certain even if we lack the ability to define them... you should know that better than anyone else.
Darned biochemistry.
[ December 30, 2002, 15:47: Message edited by: E. Cartman ]
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Well I know when I'm in lust when I have a restraining order against me.
I know when I'm in love when I have sex 3 times a day.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Some of these posts have crossed even the limit of sappiness.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
You should just go out and buy a copy of 69 Love Songs, Omega, by The Magnetic Fields. It covers all the options.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge: I know when I'm in love when I have sex 3 times a day.
I'm sure lots of people over the age of, say, 25, could make several good arguments against that.
Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
As well as lots of people under that age, I suspect.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
That only applies to me though... it's not my fault that I have a good recharge time in between orgasms. Besides, I know most people don't ever do it once a month.
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
Love is accepting someone exactly how they are, and exactly how they aren't.
And also, one of the things that strains things is "already knowing" what they're going to say or do. I have coached myself to remember that I will never truly know my fiancee, but that doesn't have anything to do with my liking to be with her.
--Jonah
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
3 times a day.... damn, I haven't done that since I was 25...
If I did that now I wouldn't have time to eat, sleep, or work....
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
In the final analysis, it's quality not quantity that matters.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Omega,
If you have to post a thread to find out what "love" is, then you're not in love. Infatuated, maybe, but not in love.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
That is, of course, assuming that I don't just want your opinions.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Okay, in which case my statement gets modified to, "Omega, you'll know you're in love when you're in love, and since it's no doubt different for everyone, and hard (if not impossible) to convey by the written word, just wait for it, dude."
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
A second hand emotion....
A crazy little thing....
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
You're still assuming that this isn't out of intellectual curiousity. I already know. I want to know what you think.
And I would point out that many think they're in love when they're not, so your definition of just knowing it would seem to be flawed.
Basically, you're saying that love is impossible to intellectually analyze?
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
I've found that people generally don't want to intellectually analyze love, because they're worried it will lose it's appeal once they understand its nature.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
I find the truth more appealing than a potential lie that has caused many (i.e. me) great pain. But that's just me.
And it doesn't lose it's appeal. It just... takes on a different context.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, if we're going to intellectualize it completely, love is a particular combination of chemicals seeping around in your brain tissues.
"In the final analysis, it's quality not quantity that matters."
Strive for the combination of the two.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Now, now, let the kid have his fun. After all, remember that, since his religion precludes intercourse for anything other than procreation, what he does here - asking other people's opinions on stuff, then discounting it because we're obviously wrong - is the closest he gets to sexual fulfillment. 8)
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Omega,
If what Vogon says is true, please notice that you posess what is known as a "hand" ... try using it sometime.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
his religion precludes intercourse for anything other than procreation
I'm not Catholic.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
I, for one, plan to take GREAT pleasure out of having sex when I get married.... lots of pleasure, all the time.... just 'cause one has a religious belief does NOT make them incapable of sexual fulfillment, enjoyment, and the occasional (or not so occasional) bit of kinky behavior!
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I consider procreation a secondary purpose for sex at this point....
I've decided that I don't have child-bearing hips Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:just 'cause one has a religious belief does NOT make them incapable of sexual fulfillment, enjoyment, and the occasional (or not so occasional) bit of kinky behavior!
Yes, but as evidenced by your post of:
quote:when I get married
It does make them* incapable of having sex with anything but their hand at this moment, regardless of being Catholic at the time or not.
Masturbation is the key to survival. You've got a hand (and many people have two), so put them to good use.
quote:In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I consider procreation a secondary purpose for sex at this point....
Damn straight. Primary purpose of sex is an orgasm (or two, or three, or four, or five, or six ...)
* Them = Forum member with a name of a certain Greek symbol.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Is there a point to all of this?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Omega = Question re: lust/love.
LOA = Wants to get laid, can't 'til she's married.
Simon = Wants to talk about mucho masturbation, but embarassed.
Snay = Already talking about mucho masturbation (embarassing Simon), off to play Counter-Strike.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
So no, then.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Look at you BLUSH!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
The point to all of this, dear Simon, is that Jeff has realized he's gone too long without bringing up Omega's religious beliefs and using them to paint him as "that silly, silly lad."
To sum up: * love is great * love can hurt * masturbation's great * masturbation can hurt * sexual fulfillment is great * sexual fulfillment can hurt. Especially if it results from being found by the police going at it froggy style in the fountain at the public park after dark while using sexual aides or varying size/shape/colors/construction and being forced to wait out the remainder of the night with a big burly cellmate named Bubba Joe as you wait for your parents to come bail you out the following morning. Not that I speak from experience or anything.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
I, for one, plan to take GREAT pleasure out of having sex when I get married.... lots of pleasure, all the time.... just 'cause one has a religious belief does NOT make them incapable of sexual fulfillment, enjoyment, and the occasional (or not so occasional) bit of kinky behavior!
Amen!
But is there any point to this any more?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
. <-- That's the point. Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:Jeff has realized he's gone too long without bringing up Omega's religious beliefs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Liz brought religion into this. I brought masturbation into this. Let's not confuse the two.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
You're wrong. Vogon Poet did. LOA followed up.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
About religion? Or masturbation? YOU'RE WRONG SIGGY, YOU'RE WRONG!
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Omega, just forget this thread and find out if you are in love for yourself. Worst case scenario... you take a semi-automatic handgun and play Russian roulette because you get rejected. Best case scenario... your hand won't get tired and you hard drive will not have be filled with porn.
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
I think Liz and Omega are going to be very disappointed on their wedding nights.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Does anyone read ANY of my posts? I've said at least twice that I posted this thread because I was curious to see other peoples' opinions, not because I don't have one of my own.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Omega, it's pretty easy to gauge that the reason you're asking for people's opinions on love is because you want to compare thoughts and determine if you're in love. Sorry bud ... it don't work that way Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Yes, when you are in love, you know it, and no other person opinion really matters....
Love doesn't hurt, lust and infatuation do...
The love I feel for my wife doesn't hurt, not in the least bit... It is a rather joyful feeling that makes it a pleasure to be around her and does make for a bit of longing when we are apart.... But no pain...
OTOH, masterbation can hurt, especially with calloused hands.... Which, I would imagine, would be the same as masterbating with a cheese grater, mildly amusing, but mostly painful...
1.0 x 10-1000 is where the point is....
Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
I think he's writing a paper or something, actually.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
it's pretty easy to gauge that the reason you're asking for people's opinions on love is because you want to compare thoughts and determine if you're in love
OK, in case you missed it the first few times, Snay, I AM NOT DOING THAT. Perhaps you should learn to read.
Good job, Frank. You get a copy, if I ever finish it.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Oh, I read what you posted, Omega. I just don't believe you.
Oh, yes, you're writing a paper. Of course you are. Relax kid, we can see around you. Our little Omega is in love (maybe) ... you're so cute and adorable, awwww, let me pinch your cheeks ... awwwww ... Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
What is wrong with you?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Omega's in love and it's so cute and ...
... ok, I've already got 35 hours on the clock this week (today I've got off), and I haven't gotten much sleep, and go bounce off a rock, huh?
Posted by Nimrod Pimding (Member # 205) on :
Ritten:
quote:masterbation
What, you got a black belt or something?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Actually, someone* is quite incorrect as to the purpose of this thread. I know the true reason for its existence. And I'm not telling.
* This someone being the Devourer and Destroyer of Deer.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
I must admit. The markers of a paper on love, will be very spectacularly impressed by a research paper that includes among its references: "Those quacks and goofballs on the Flare Sci-Fi Forums."
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I don't devour deer. In the eating sense, anyway. Omega's not in love? Yeah, that makes more sense...
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
I'm in imminent danger of falling OUT of love in the near future.
But that's another story.
*SIGH*
Love can too hurt.
I love her, but I may have to let her go, because I'm not sure I can take dealing with all her attendant baggage anymore. It was supposed to get better once she moved in with me. It hasn't. It's gotten worse. And now I'm NEVER free from it.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
I was planning to keep my beliefs on love out of this thread, but since it's lost its original purpose...
What do you mean, you can't handle it any more, and that you're never free of it? WHAT you? If you love her, there IS no you. There is only her well-being and happiness. If you don't want to be totally subsumed in caring for another, then you don't want to love. Pick one.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Aethelwer: I think Liz and Omega are going to be very disappointed on their wedding nights.
I find myself in the uncommon position of agreeing with Frank. Although I'm going to expand it a bit and say that Liz is likely to be more disapointed than Omega. Good old Stevie boy wants to be in love, Liz wants to fuck repeatedly. Considering that
1/ The first time is nearly always awful, and
2/ You have no way of judging how good someone is until you actually do do them,
Then the pair could be setting themselves up for several decades of "Sorry, I've got a headache tonight."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"If you love her, there IS no you. There is only her well-being and happiness."
Um... I'm pretty sure that's not love. Sounds more like some sort of unhealthy obsession.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Agreed. Love should be equal. It should not be one person giving over his or her identity for another. That's unhealthy and dangerous.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
What, can't a guy be a little imprecise? I don't mean your identity is lost, I mean that your concern for yourself is considered to be totally unimportant next to your concern for the one you love. Of course, in a marriage that has to be mutual.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
And if that person is murderous, or suicidal, or a fan of Bryan Adams, a point comes where you have to admit that you can't help any more.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Rob, dang you, poke a hole in my statement....
There is a point where, regardless of the amount of caring one has for another, the extra baggage can overwhelm you. It does happen where one person needs to be the center of attention all the time. My ex-wife comes to mind, she expected me to completely forget I have a large batch of siblings....
She used that as one of the excuses for her having affairs.... 'You spent time helping your brother so I screwed the guy in Bad Axe/Ann Arbor/Southfield/Grand Rapids....'
Good luck in keeping you sanity 1ST....
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
(Goddamn British keyboards)
quote:What do you mean, you can't handle it any more, and that you're never free of it? WHAT you? If you love her, there IS no you. There is only her well-being and happiness. If you don't want to be totally subsumed in caring for another, then you don't want to love. Pick one.
Love is not either/or. It's openness, freedom. There are no requirements in love. Love doesn't last if you do not love yourself first, for if you're not true to yourself you deprive your loved ones of the real you. Of course, that's assuming you want them to love you and not just someone whose entire existence is waiting upon them. When you love yourself you start loving other people instead of waiting for other people to love you, and I say that from experience.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
How could I forget to include the immortal words of Nigel Watson...
"There are two kinds of women in this world: the kind you fuck, & the kind you marry. And sometimes, if you're lucky...you find one who's both."
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
My relationship seems to have slid from being symbiotic to being parasitic while I wasn't looking.
At least, that's the way I feel right now in the exceedingly depressed mood I've been in for the past few days.
Ritten, that's exactly it, that whole "center of attention" thing. You know, I can't even get on my computer at home without being subjected to a crying jag? That's just one symptom, and not the worst.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
. . . No, I'm not going to say anything here. Except I am, apparently. I'm not especially surprised. But then I'm paranoid and I tend to anticipate situations like the one Rob finds himself in, and I have at times wondered how close his relationship was veering toward the situation he now finds himself in.
All of which is a roundabout way of saying "I told you so." But I don't mean it to sound that way, Rob. I was wondering, did you never consider that your relationship might come to this? No reason you should have, if you truly loved her. . . Also, what is it that's got you thinking in this way anyway? Have you talked to her about any of this? It might be an idea before you really think about ending it.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
quote:Rob. I was wondering, did you never consider that your relationship might come to this?
Sometimes, but one in love will consider and reject these thoughts (especially if one has been through something similar before and thinks "Now I'm more aware this time.")
quote: Also, what is it that's got you thinking in this way anyway?
Exhaustion. The last month has been extremely trying. Several nights, I didn't get any sleep at all because she kept waking me up to help her to the bathroom or because she had a nightmare or because she was simply moaning loudly or having a crying jag (She's the loudest sick person I've ever known. Cancer ate my grandmother, and she NEVER made this much noise)
I'm not a full-time caregiver. Even I have my limits. after a night or two without sleep, I tend to reach them rather quickly.
And my own bout with depression. And holiday stress. And the one-year anniversary of her moving in with me. And her failure to make headway in clearing her credit card debts.
quote:Have you talked to her about any of this?
A little. It wasn't pretty, and eventually I sort of folded because I couldn't stay angry.
quote: It might be an idea before you really think about ending it.
Yes, there is more that needs to be said. That much is certain.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
The longer you wait the more the wounds will fester, then the talking will never be pretty again....
For the most part all the advice we could give you would be worth a little less than spit, so, I wish you good luck and hope that your heart and mind reach an agreement on what you need to do before you lose either....
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
I'm wondering when this will be moved to the Flameboards...
Omega, all I have to say is that I hope you can find whatever you were looking for in this thread.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Why move it? No one's really started flaming anyone or anything yet.
As for getting what I needed, it was a poll, more than anything. My conclusion is that most people don't think love is definable, or at least don't care to try, beyond some vague poetic statements.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Omega, you know a rose by any other name.....
Love means different things to different people, and, while most people will use the cliches to define it, they themselves, can not actually come up with something suitable.... and I am in that they...
A better question may be, why is love the hardest emotion to define, unlike remorse, hate, fear, etc... and What is missing from some people that they do not feel certain emotions...
Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"My conclusion is that most people don't think love is definable, or at least don't care to try"
People have been trying for the past, oh, five millennia. And failing, I might add. How's that for tenacity?
"What is missing from some people that they do not feel certain emotions..."
Brain chemicals. Or a healthy soul, if you're more spiritually inclined...
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Love is being able to talk things out without breaking or throwing things (or even much shouting).
Yes. Long talk, blah-blah, apologies offered, blah-blah, agreements reached, blah-blah, some matters of my own fault taken, blah-blah, a couple of nights of uninterrupted power sleeping, blah-blah, situation improving, blah blah.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I'm not trying to be out of line here, Rob. I really have little idea of your situation.
But...are you sure things are going to improve? Are you sure that, in 6 months time, you won't be in exactly the same situation you are now? Are you sure you haven't turned into the abused spouse willing to take anything out of a misguided sense of obligation? Are you sure that you're not just receiving the abuse that's been dished out to her by others? Are you sure that the abuse will ever end?
And above all, are you sure you're helping her? You can't live her life for her. If you've got a situation where she's completely dependent on you, surely that's dangerous? What happens if you're in an accident? What happens if you're killed? You can't help her if she won't help herself, and that will take more than a shouting and throwing match followed by a promise that things will get better.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
I feel awful saying this after Liam's raised such valid points, but. . .
quote:Originally posted by First of Two: Yes. Long talk, blah-blah, apologies offered, blah-blah, agreements reached, blah-blah, some matters of my own fault taken, blah-blah, a couple of nights of uninterrupted power sleeping, blah-blah, situation improving, blah blah.
What?! Where's the make-up sex? You gotta have the make-up sex! You can't miss out the make-up sex! 8)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Yup. And the chances of her
a/ crying, or b/ trying to smother you
They only make it more erotic.
I made valid points? Woo!
Seriously though...well, what I said. If I wasn't out of line, or being rude. And even if I was, think about. Please?
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Having been near enough to his type of relationship I can tell you that he will, almost certainly, be back in the same condition in 3 to 6 months. If it was like my case it is ingrained for her to behave this way, so without true professional help and her admitting that she has a control/attention problem, like an alcoholic, will remain the same, tearing Rob down month after month, leading him into the abyss that is all but inecapable.
The best thing that happened was that she decided that I wasn't going to change to fit her like a glove and told me hat I was being replaced by anyone of her several lovers, lettin me get away and get my mind straight, er somewhat anyhow, and see things from a different perspective.
Then in an need to revenge on life I did the same thing that happened to me, by becoming the other man, caught myself ripping a marriage apart, and left town....
I do hope that his case is far different than my little episode.....
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Love is never having to say "I invoke my fifth amendment right against self incriminaton". Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
We will see what we will see. I'll let you know in 3-6 months.
She has admitted that she has some personal emotional control issues. Also I have, perhaps, in my zeal to try and help "fix" her life, made her too dependent on me, this is true. We're going to talk about these things with her counselor.
We have an appointment with what is supposed to be a good pain clinic next week, and we're both hopeful that they will put her on a regimen that will ease her pain enough to allow her to recover some of her strength and take a more active role. All of her issues stem from the feeling of helplessness that not being able to do much of anything gives her. If we can take care of that, we're hopeful that the rest of the problems will begin to moderate.
Re: Make-up sex: Postponed until her throat infection clears up. TMI.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
quote:Originally posted by First of Two: Re: Make-up sex: Postponed until her throat infection clears up. TMI.
Post pictures.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Good lord, no.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Not in a million, billion years, Styro.
Hell, she won't even let me take pictures for OUR use.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
Phooey.
Liz refuses to let me use the camara anymore. If we need pictures taken she does it.
Love Is: Knowing you can never ever use your new digital camara because the wife sez you can't. Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Oop, that reminds me, must DL pics from our camera, the memory's nearly full. 8)
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Uhhh...................
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
{Lester Long}Maaaan, it just gets uglier & UGlier, don't it!! GodDAMN, I love the outdoors..!!{/Lester Long}
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Congrats 1ST, that is the step Dee would never take with me, you may have this beat...
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
I'm not saying either way at the moment.
God, I've been arrogant.
I'm the one who pushed this relationship from the beginning, who took what might have been a simple uncomplicated friendship and turned it into a date, then a steady relationship, then an engagement. Despite numerous attempts on her part to keep me at arm's length and even turn me away, I remained steadfast and obstinate that I COULD do it all and handle it all. I drew her in. Only the last step, her moving in to my new place, was initiated by her... and I wholeheartedly agreed at the time.
And now I find myself thinking that, if I had really known then what I know now, maybe I wouldn't have done it... but the truth is, I didn't believe it when she told me what the truth would turn out to be then, so I probably would have anyway. Argh.
Oh, I hate it when my problems are all my own doing... I'd much rather blame somebody else.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Yes, but fortunately you can't bomb your girlfriend. He said, with a sinking feeling he might be proved wrong. . .
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
I would never intentionally cause her harm. Don't even insinuate that jokingly.
When the hell did this turn into "The Perils of First of Two?"
Aw, hell, that's my fault, too. Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Yes. Everything's your fault.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
NO! I refuse to accept responsibility for "Joe Millionaire!"
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
and the fact that Jeff hasn't piped up is curious... especially with that line about being arrogant... If it wasn't for you current situation that would be prime for him to use...
Haven't you learned long ago that very little of what happens to us isn't our own faults, made by our own decisions??? I could name atleast 100 decisions that I have made that have landed me in my current situation, dating back, well, awhile ago....
Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"and the fact that Jeff hasn't piped up is curious..."
There is no honour in kicking someone who's deep, deep down in the gutter.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
So, surely perfect for Jeff then, as he has no sense of humour.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
And now Liam is channelling Worf.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Which, I would think, is better than Worf channeling Liam....
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I don't know if Liam would be set up for that kind of equipment and I doubt Worf would be set up for that kind of pleasure.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
When did this become Klingon Anatomy?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Like Ruffles potato chips, Klingons have ridges. For her pleasure.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poet: And now Liam is channelling Worf.
Don't you mean Cartman was?
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Well, it seems so....
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
if the Klingon male is pre-ribbed... what is the Klingon female?
This puts a whole new spin on Alexander's plaster impression that Worf was showing off in Season 7 by saying "Ridges of a Warrior"! Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Chandler: "Girth?! Why, why, why, why, why, why would they do this?"
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