Hi, this is Celine Dion. I took some time out of my tour schedule to convey a message to this adress from my friend Nim, the patron saint of canadians. ^__^ I hope this gets through, as he said he was down to his last pair of underwear. He didn't want to borrow mine. That's so swedish of him, sticking to his principles. Ok, here it is! Also, buy my music! XOXOXOXO
"At last, I'm back. From the murky depths of lurkage, dumpster cuisine and all manners of fuckery, me are here. The rumors of my girth has been greatly exaggerated.
Now, I won't pretend that you know what I'm talking about here, we're way past that now, you and me.
To make a short story long, theshitpipesinmybuildingexploded,anacuterenovationofeachandeveryshitpipe(6ofthembadboys)tookplace,ragingfromSeptemberthroughMarch,Ihadtoupandmigraterightinthebeginningofthesemester ,mycatunderonearm,myturnipandparsnipandwhatever-nipundertheother,preparingtolivethegoodlifeofboxcartramp,onlySwedendoesn'thaveboxcartrampsaccordingtothelogisticsofficeandIgotlaughe doutofthetrainyardfornogoodreason.
Anyway, I'm back now, back in my newly-raped apartment (though with shiny new bathroom and sea shells) and getting under way, adjusting. To clarify, there never was a problem with the shitpipes in my flat, so basically I just got a new bathroom, courtesy of the building establishment. This period of being away wasn't all bad, I discovered TV again (first time I saw Scrubs, Sarah Chalke is boingy!), also my brother the samaritan came and visited me weekly and loaned me his newest Marvel-mags ("Agent X" is funny, like, Deadpool-funny!) and I think I lost some weight, or it could've been just from all the sneezing, I stayed in a drafty place, see.
So! *smacks hands on knees* As you know, I'm a man of special needs. Ripped away from the virtual reality of worldwidewab, I had to do something to pass the time between studying and eating, hoping that some day I would once more gingerly suck the supple teat of the WWW, and consequently, you.
With my last ounce of spunk, I present you with this token of good will, sort of a little box of chocolates from Nim to Flare (well, more like a box of shit). Call it a late Mardi Gras-present, if you will. I know you americans like that, with your hamburgers and your raak n' rol.
Think of it as sitting in your favorite uncle's lap, browsing in a sought-after photo album your mother never let you near, out of spite. You may also, if you will, imagine a cup of cocoa next to you, if it helps. And some laplanders. Ok, here we go.
*flip* This is a good one, makes me think about your mother...
*flip* Here's a photo of three Palestinians we met one time in the summer. Kindest beings I've ever met.
*flip* Your brother always liked this one. This was long before he joined the- ...sorry, we're not supposed to talk about that.
*thwip* Aw, now this is so typical of your mother, to leave this one in. Yeah she's a keeper.
*flip* Oh, here's a stroll down memory lane.
*flip* Don't you just love this, sitting down with me, your uncle, for some friendly album-browsing? I always like these calm moments before the storm.
*sigh* That's it, I'm afraid. Now go and help your mother with the dishes, kiddo.
/ Wow, that wasn't so bad, was it? Anyways, I hope future generations will look back at me with forgiving eyes.
This is the NimStough signing off, from KWIROFLMAO at the 98.6 FM band. Good night, Flare, where ever you are.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ROBERT SINGER
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
So, lack of Internet finally pushed you over the edge of insanity, eh? Well, good on you, I say.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Lt be be the first to post... ...the fuck?!? Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Nim! I knew you'd turnip again sooner or later! B)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
mmm, and I haven't even missed myself....
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
I see someone's been drinking out of the septic tank again.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
!?!
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
So, what has happened the last three months? Any spectacular confrontations, hairpullings, lawsuits? Perhaps a juicy newbie? Or rallies, have there been any rallies? I love a good rally.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
We've reached record profit levels and my wife is hotter than ever...
But I assume you're talking about what's going on here, right? Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Er.... Out of interest Nim, are you wearing underpants on your head and do you have a couple of pencils stuck up your nose? Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Baby, stop staring unconvincingly at my poise, it's all me.
Now, barring further encouragment to Mister Fucking Kapitalist Money-eating-pig-with-TopHat (sic) over there, has there transpired anything of substance in these quarters? Or do we have to bring out the little oricalcum beads? Don't forget, I'm openminded.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Shik's still in the caan till April.
Styrofoamman's plan to destroy life on earth proceeds apace.
We had a big (civil even!)discussion abour gay marriage and religion's influence on modern laws and Psyliam actually sided with Omega! Still dont know how that happened, really....
It's been decided that SUV's and cell phones in cars are evil.
We've had newbies and the usual 10% survived (including Marian- Foamy's wife).
Captain Mike ran into a bus full of nuns and orphans and was the sole survivor.
Oh, and Valdimir Putin just won one of Russia's most one-sided, rigged elections in history. Yeah...good times there.
And I still cant type for shit.....I build models okay though.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Would I be one of those 10%? Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
So far, anyway....
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Marian- Foamy's wife"
You can't remember names for shit, either. B)
Posted by Pensive's Wetness (Member # 1203) on :
quote:Originally posted by Manticore: Would I be one of those 10%?
well, i survived the cat whippings, sacaficial facials and that cat-ate-mouse-ate-bug-ate-virus that caused my ass to explode briefly with no after affects (i needed larger windows anyway so in essence the "cat-ate-mouse-ate-bug-ate-virus that caused my ass to explode briefly with no after affects" event probably was a good thing.
though now its really fucking drafty here, sadly... Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
What's this? A junior caught off his gaahd?
FWI, rectal detonations is not a prerequisite for achieving member status. You must've read the FAQ upside down. Beam your ass down to sickbay.
Manticore, you shouldn't pull your pants up just yet, the jury's still out on you. And leave the celery sticks alone, they're for decoration.
Jason, thanks for the recap. bout ChaplainMike, IIRC (urk), as long as he says he's sorry he's in the clear.
Man, I've only been back three days and already I'm getting the munchies bad. It's the smell, if there is such a thing.
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: We've had newbies and the usual 10% survived (including Marian- Foamy's wife).
That's Liz. Not Marian.
Liz, Lizoid, LizHadar, Lizzy, but NEVER EVER CALL ME BETH.
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
But we already have a Liz!
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
Hmmm...
Then I'll have to change my name to Irish Breast Goddess or somthing like that.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Right, Anne it is.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Assuming that you're the LiznotBeth that I know...Styrofoamman's been rubbing off on you too much... Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
quote:Originally posted by Manticore: Assuming that you're the LiznotBeth that I know...Styrofoamman's been rubbing off on you too much...
Depends, you hang out on TrekRPG.net?
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Nah, SCN.
You may not have been there long, but you sure left quite an impression. Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
We can't access the site. Damn software glitches won't let us post.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
That's odd...you sure you're not going to scn.infopop.net? It's scn.infopop.cc now...
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
Quite sure. Every time I try to post somthing it comes up with error messages. Even after the latest upgrade.
I just gave up on it... Too bad really because Brian and I came up with a nifty idea to explain Quantum Slipstream and the TMP Wormhole Effect.
Well it was more me than him. Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
But she totally nicked the idea from me. . .
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
Can't prove it.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
MSNM logs!
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Styrofoamman's been rubbing off on you too much..."
Yes, and the Pope is catholic. B)
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
I realized the ludicrousness of that statement ten seconds after I posted it, yes... Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elizabeth Anne:
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: We've had newbies and the usual 10% survived (including Marian- Foamy's wife).
That's Liz. Not Marian.
Liz, Lizoid, LizHadar, Lizzy, but NEVER EVER CALL ME BETH.
Can I call you "becky"? "Lizzie"?
How 'bout "Queen of CFC's"? Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
(back off slowly...)
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Becky" is short for "Rebecca", not "Elizabeth".
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
And?
How 'bout just "sally"? "squaw"?
"Zoidberg"?
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Would simply 1162 work?
"Zoiberg"? ?????
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Oh my god, a pop culture anal phabetist! Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
I'm amazed that Charles Capps hasn't closed this thread yet...
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Why? We're still on topic.
Whatever that is.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
He needs to learn the ropes. No we're still on "recent events", namely the addition of one of the member's wives.
I hope there have been no more deer-slayings or lawsuits. I've certainly kept my part of the bargain.
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
Of wich the name is Liz, not Beth nor Marian.
Once Trek-RPG goes back up I'll go away again. I only come here when that forum is down.
Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lee: MSNM logs!
Faked with Notepad. Posted by Elizabeth Anne (Member # 1162) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: How 'bout "Queen of CFC's"?
We use pentane. Not CFC. That stuff is outlawed for use as a blowing agent.
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ritten: Would simply 1162 work?
That'll work.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Oh go on! "Blowing agent"? We'll never hear the end of this.
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
Blowing agent is a chemical introduced into a substance to reduce it's density. It boils away creating voids. We use pentane becuse it boils at a low temp and it dissolves into styrene.
Or would you rather me make somthing up about a "blowing agent" being someone who casts porn films? Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Just looking out for your safety, ma'am. There be ruffians in the foliage, they can smell fear. Fear and innuendoes. Anyway, it sounds like you've done the tour of the factory a few times, inviting sponsors perhaps? Coffee and little biscuits? Black skirt? HAIR PINS???
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
Not only do I direct the tours I helped build the place. I can run any machine here.
...and don't worry about me, I've been on the net for awile now. However I don't have memberships on alltheotherboardsandIamquitewellrespectedonthem.net (where nooBs come from) because of a DNS error.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
You kind of lost me there. What I got was that you consider yourself quite well-respected on other boards, don't associate much with newbies, struggle against erronous IT-protocols and live the life of self-made woman and ditto industrialist. Was that the gist of it?
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
quote: Just looking out for your safety, ma'am. There be ruffians in the foliage, they can smell fear. Fear and innuendoes.
The second part was a silly response to the above.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Innuendo is an album by Omega's (most) favorite rock group.....
Glad you like it....
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nim: You kind of lost me there. What I got was that you consider yourself quite well-respected on other boards, don't associate much with newbies, struggle against erronous IT-protocols and live the life of self-made woman and ditto industrialist. Was that the gist of it?
Some of the Fallen Newbies used the "i'm-on-every-other-board-and-no-one-there-is-mean-to-me-but-you-bad-people-are" rant....before imploding. I think that's what she meant.
Oh goodie, I just sliced off my thumbprint with a butter knife while trying to open a stuck bottle of paint.
That's gonna hurt.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
I used to be quite mean to n00bs, so I know how to cope. Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Registered: Feb 2004, eh? Watch it, or you'll encounter a whole new level of meanness. . .
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Yes, nobodies quite like Lee-san.... Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Lee helps those who help themselves.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Yeah. He's a walking self-actualisation institute. B)
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
You calling me a wanker? 8)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
4 out of the last 6 posts ended with smilies. That's far too high a percentage for my liking. Stop it now, wankers.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
When you the world with you, Liam.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
Good old Psyliam Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Does Psyliasm perhaps have something on his mind that has been slowly gnawing at him?
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
Wanking? Where?! Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
I'm starting to get most disturbed...
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You're still going through your adjustment period. It'll pass. Or you will pass, it's one or the other really. B)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Yes, if it only starting you are in for a long ride... Or else you'll abaondon the board before it is finished, and we can't have that, since it is no fun going through life only slightly disturbed.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
And here I thought that SCN would prep me for this place...I mean, enough people from here post there... Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
But now you know the truth: they go there for a bit of sanity!
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Sanity? What's that?
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: You're still going through your adjustment period. It'll pass. Or you will pass, it's one or the other really. B)
Manticore's having his period? Our newbie's becoming a young woman. (sigh!) They grow up so fast..
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nim: Does Psyliasm perhaps have something on his mind that has been slowly gnawing at him?
Ceti Alpha VI Eel.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: When you the world with you, Liam.
I never guessed that someone would do that. Ever. Well done for super-original-great-suprise-causing.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Someone had to do it.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Jason, while I may be a n00b here, I still have power at SCN...
(Dang the smiley choice here is limited...)
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Dang the smiley choice here is limited..."
If only...
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Manticore: "Sanity? What's that?"
Don't insult my intelligence, Manty. We've deprived you of your flare forumic hymen and soon we will deprive you of your brains.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Then...when we swing around, we'll deprive you of your life.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Jason makes a remark about our 'Core becoming a fine young women, sighing over the fact that they grow up so fast, then talks about swinging in his next post....
If y'all did push them so damn hard they could enjoy their childhood.....
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
In your dreams, Ritten-baby! Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
Wow. This board is MUCH MUCH more fun than Trek-RPG.net!
Goes to show having a 14-year old mod run the place was a baaaaaaad idea. Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Even mods need to let it swing, I tellya. You sneeze, you lose. Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
Anyone can swing... all you need is a little push.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
You mean CC's not 14.....
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
I think she meant A: that the 14-year old was from trek-urp-pee-gee dot net, and B: that "Dancer in the Dark" was informative.
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
One thing I like about this place is the people here are easy to confuse.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Are too!!!
Posted by Species 1162 (Member # 1162) on :
The higher the IQ the easier it is to plug up the brain. Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
I want beer, then.
Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ritten: You mean CC's not 14.....
Not for another couple of years I think, so let's keep him away from Jason, OK?
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